Much Ado About Nothing
by The Goblet
Summary: When the graduating class of 1977 return to Hogwarts to attend the annual Hogsmeade Masked Mid-Summer Ball, turmoil and madness ensues when the Black brothers decide to meddle in the love lives of their friends. COMPLETE
1. Dramatis Personǽ and Prologue

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Fandom: **Harry Potter  
**Rating: **R (NC-17 version linked when scenes are edited)  
**Parts: **42  
**Categories: **Angst, Drama, Humor, Marauder Era, Romance, Suicidal Themes  
**Pairings: **Lily Evans / James Potter, Remus Lupin / Severus Snape, Rodolphus LeStrange / Peter Pettigrew  
**Characters: **Aberforth Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore, Arabella Figg, Lord Voldemort, Minerva McGonagall, Rabastan LeStrange, Regulus Black, Sirius Black  
**Warnings: **Character Death (mentioned), Het, Slash, Suicidal Themes  
**Spoilers: **OotP

**Summary: **  
When the graduating class of 1977 return to Hogwarts to attend the annual Hogsmeade Masked Mid-Summer Ball, turmoil and madness ensues when the Black brothers decide to meddle in the love lives of their friends.

**Author's Notes: **  
This story was inspired by William Shakespeare's comedy 'Much Ado About Nothing'.

It is a Potterverse version of Shakespeare's 'Much Ado About Nothing'. Some of the speeches may seem extremely familiar (including one which is Shakespearean, but does not come from this play - sing out if you spot it). And some scenes are completely new.

The slash warning is for m/m pairings and intimacy. The het warning is for a background pairing only.

This story was written after I read OotP and visited the Globe Theatre in London where I saw an all-female performance of Much Ado About Nothing.

Completed January 2005.

**Beta: **  
Many, many thanks to Tall Oaks and Mermaid3290

**Disclaimer: **  
This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

This story is based on characters and situations created by William Shakespeare. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

* * *

**Dramatis Personǽ**

Sirius Black  
- Auror, Ministry of Magic;  
- Junior member of the Order of the Phoenix

Regulus Black  
- his brother;  
- Death Eater hopeful

Remus John Lupin  
- Defence Against the Dark Arts student, Ivory Magical University;  
- Junior member of the Order of the Phoenix

James Potter  
- Auror, Ministry of Magic;  
- Junior member of the Order of the Phoenix

Peter Pettigrew  
- Bar Tender, Hog's Head inn;  
- Junior member of the Order of the Phoenix

Minerva McGonagall  
- Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry;  
- Senior member of the Order of the Phoenix

Arabella Figg  
- her sister;  
- Member of the Order of the Phoenix;  
- a squib

Lord Voldemort  
- A Dark Lord

Nero Wilkes  
- Potions Master;  
- Death Eater

Rabastan LeStrange  
- Best mate of Regulus Black;  
- Death Eater hopeful

Rodolphus LeStrange  
- older brother of Rabastan LeStrange;  
- Death Eater

Albus Dumbledore  
- Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry;  
- Leader of the Order of the Phoenix

Aberforth Dumbledore  
- his brother;  
- Member of the Order of the Phoenix;  
- Owner of the Hog's Head inn;  
- Member of the Hogsmeade Citizen's Watch

Severus Snape  
- Potions apprentice;  
- Junior member of the Order of the Phoenix;  
- Death Eater hopeful

Lily Evans  
- Potions apprentice;  
- Junior member of the Order of the Phoenix

Honeyduke, Zonko, Dervish and Banges  
- Shopkeepers of Hogsmeade;  
- Members of the Hogsmeade Citizen's Watch

Ebenezer Scrivenshaft  
- Owner of Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop;  
- Hogsmeade's Official Record Keeper and Historian

* * *

**Prologue**

Our story opens, this fair night, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, on the eve of the Mid-Summer festivities. Our fair hero and heroine have returned to the castle to celebrate with fellow members of the Order of the Phoenix.

It was the time of a great war: good versus evil: the virtuous and noble versus the wicked and corrupt. Hogwarts School was one of the last Order strongholds left in the Isles. The 1979 summer holidays had just begun. Frightened children had been sent home to face the holidays (and Death Eater attacks) by themselves. In their absence, Hogwarts' doors had been thrown open (figuratively, not literally) to exhausted Order Members so that they could regroup and recover from their battles.

But, back to our heroes: Severus Snape and Lily Evans. A 'pure-blood' and a 'mud-blood'. Our tale opens three days after our heroes have returned to Hogwarts. After graduating two years earlier, both enrolled in a Potions Apprenticeship program run by the Ministry, and (as a result of Albus Dumbledore's tampering) both students had been designated to study under Nero Wilkes, a well known and respected Potions Master. Unknown to the public, however, was Wilkes' obsession with the Dark Arts and subsequent loyalty to the Dark Lord. It was due to one of his commitments that Lily and Severus had been given a month's holiday. A holiday they intend to begin with a bang - at the annual Hogsmeade Masked Mid-Summer Ball.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	2. Chapter One

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 1**

Minerva McGonagall, deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and senior member of the Order of the Phoenix, walked slowly into the staffroom, where Severus Snape and Lily Evans were sitting quietly playing chess. The two turned to look at the Transfigurations Professor as she walked in, reading a piece of parchment. "I've just received an owl from Sirius; he's heading back to Hogwarts, tonight," she revealed, looking up from the scroll.

"What about Signor Ostentatious?" asked Lily as she captured one of Severus' pawns.

"Who?" Minerva turned to look at Lily, befuddled.

"She means Potter," drawled Severus.

Minerva smiled; the long-going war of words between Lily and James Potter had been legendary while they were at school, and had continued after graduation. "He's coming back as well. Since when have you ever seen Sirius without James?"

Severus scowled, obviously not happy with the turn of events.

"So, how many Death Eaters has he killed? For I vowed to eat every last one of them," replied Lily, ignoring Severus' public display of dislike for the two trouble makers.

Minerva looked aghast at the former Head Girl.

"She's having you on. It's a private joke between her and Potter. Unlike Wilkes, Lily is not cannibalistic in the least," stated Severus.

"James is serving the Order well, Lily," rebuked Minerva. She looked down, rather sternly, at the girl. "Honestly, eat what he has killed," she shook her head, and turned her attention back to the parchment.

"Seems that he's bringing Remus back with him, too," she murmured as she continued to read the letter.

Unlike his friends, James and Sirius, Remus Lupin had not been able to become an Auror. The Ministry had a policy which discriminated against Dark Creatures. Remus, as only his closest friends knew, was a werewolf, and werewolves were classified by the Ministry as Dark Creatures. Instead, he had been putting his first-hand knowledge of lycanthropy to good use in his studies at Ivory Magical University: studying towards a Masters degree in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"Remus is coming?" asked Lily, looking tentatively at Severus, who had stiffened.

Minerva nodded. "They were involved in a battle together."

Severus abruptly stood up from the chess game. "Excuse me, I must add the Bicorn to the Polyjuice." Collecting his cloak, Severus strode out of the room.

"Was it something I said?" asked Minerva as she watched Severus stalk out of the room.

Lily sighed. "No, you didn't say anything that you shouldn't have." She started to pack up the chessboard. "How should I put this? Severus is holding a torch for Remus - not that he would admit it you."

Minerva's mouth dropped. "He's gay?!"

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"Of course not!" admonished Minerva, "I never would have guessed, though. Does he have a chance? Is Remus gay?"

"You forget that Remus suffers from lycanthropy: his wolf will choose his mate. And Severus knows this. Problem is Severus is in love with him - again, not something that he would admit. Although, personally, I want to wring Remus' neck for leading him on like he has: I take it you weren't aware that they've been lovers since seventh year."

"WHAT?!?" exclaimed Minerva. She covered her mouth with both hands.

"Are you meaning to tell me that those two have been engaging in… _you-know_… for **three** years, and I completely missed it?" she whispered.

"The word is sex. And yes, they have. I should castrate Remus for being so insensitive to Severus' feelings."

"What do you mean?" Minerva sat down heavily in a chair opposite Lily.

Lily drew a deep breath "Well! Remus won't acknowledge him. He just **won't** acknowledge him at **all** if Sirius or James are around. Remus just nods at him as though he's just a casual acquaintance. And Severus, well Severus would never admit to being hurt, but you can see it in his eyes.

"I caught them in seventh year sneaking into the Prefect's bathroom, and later that evening, Remus told his friends that he'd fallen asleep in the bath! He goes to such lengths to hide it from everyone. And Severus goes along with it! I asked him once why he did, and he said it was 'safer' that way."

"I thought I knew them so well, but I didn't even catch onto anything. I suppose it would hurt Severus' chances on being inducted into the Death Eater ranks if they got word that he and Remus… you know," Minerva said as Lily took a breath.

Lily shook her head. "I'm not saying that they should tell the whole world, but James and Sirius? Remus hasn't even told them that he's gay or bi, or whatever it is that he is. They keep setting him up on blind dates, and he goes along with them!

"I don't know what it is that is going on between those two, and Severus has told me on more than one occasion to keep my nose out of his business. I'll tell you now, Minerva, if that is what love entails, I'll have no part in it. All you need to do is **look** at Severus when Remus is in the room, and it's **obvious** that he is in love with him; and all Remus is doing is having a little fun before his wolf tells him to settle down!"

"It mustn't be that obvious if James and Sirius haven't cottoned on. I didn't notice anything -"

Minerva and Lily's conversation was cut short as they heard a ruckus coming from down the hall. Minerva had barely enough time to compose herself, before the room was inundated with a gang of muscular young men.

"Minerva!" boomed Sirius Black as he strode into the room. He approached his former Head of House, and enveloped her in a huge bear hug. He turned to Lily, "Lily, always a pleasure." She too, was embraced in an affectionate, though awkward, hug.

"Minerva, Lily," Remus said, following Sirius into the room. He smiled shyly, but found himself distracted by Severus' lingering scent. Unconsciously, he moved across the room, and sat in the chair the Slytherin had recently vacated.

James was the last of the expected trio to enter the room. He stood in the door, surveying the room and ran a hand through his hair. "Minerva, it's good to see you again; it's been far too long," he said warmly.

The deputy headmistress smiled at the returned Gryffindors. "I expect you are hungry!" she exclaimed. She still hadn't recovered from the shock of learning that Remus and Severus were involved, and was over-compensating through enthusiasm.

She walked over to the fireplace and summoned a house-elf. She couldn't help but stare at Remus as he sat in the armchair. It amazed her that two people she thought she knew fairly well were _together_ right under her very nose, and she hadn't even noticed. And yet now, as she observed Remus it was unmistakable. Remus had made a beeline to the very chair that Severus had been sitting in earlier. He seemed oblivious to everyone and everything else in the room.

Remus stood. "If it's ok with you, I think I'll go freshen up. I'm not particularly hungry. I'll catch up a bit later." Bidding everyone goodbye, the werewolf practically fled from the room.

James shrugged and looked after his departed friend. "Wonder what's got into him," he said, shrugging his shoulders melodramatically.

He turned back to Minerva, who was busy consulting with a house-elf. "I'm famished! I could eat a horse… and a hippogriff… and a porlock…," he smiled, "… and finish it all off with a nice tender house-elf."

Lily shook her head in disgust, "You Idiot! Why are you still talking? Nobody is paying you any attention… **and** you are speaking utter nonsense. You're hungry, ok, we get it!"

James swung around and faced Lily, whom he had inadvertently overlooked when he had entered the room earlier. "Why Miss Evans, I see your tongue is as scornful as ever," he replied, his words, although formal, were sickly sweet.

"What? You think it would have disappeared? Why, Mr Potter, your mere presence guarantees that I still have my… how did you put it? _Scornful tongue_. My tongue is generally civil, but… well… **you** are here."

"Oh really? Your civil tongue has deserted you has it? Replaced by a scornful one?" James laughed. "I'll have you know, that I am loved by all witches, except you. However, that being said, I am of the opinion that love is a fickle emotion, hence, I love no-one."

"Well, thank Merlin for small miracles! At least no witch would be bothered by a pernicious suitor. I annoys me to admit it but I agree with you: I would rather hear my mooncalf bark at a doxy than a wizard swear they love me."

"Well I hope to Merlin that no wizard will swear they love you, otherwise they'd risk a predestined broken nose."

"If their face was anything like yours, a broken nose would be an improvement."

"Lily! James!" admonished Minerva, finally putting an end to their sparring match.

"I see nothing has changed," a quiet deep voice declared.

Sirius moved forward. "Ahh, Professor, you remember Rabastan LeStrange and my brother Regulus. They helped us out of a spot of bother we had a few days ago… saved our lives," he said re-acquainting the Transfigurations teacher with the two newly graduated Slytherins who stood in the doorway.

Minerva turned and smiled at the two young men. She had been certain that they had both been supporters of Lord Voldemort, but something in Sirius' tone had told her that the 'spot of bother' was much, much more than just a 'spot of bother'. Perhaps she had been wrong. "Welcome back. Of course, we only said good bye less than a week ago. I didn't expect to see you again so soon. I hope you will be staying for the ball."

"Of course," Rabastan answered.

"Thank you Professor. I am a man of little words, but I thank you," replied Regulus.

"Right! Good! Everybody knows each other, everybody's said hello. Now, can we eat?"

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tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	3. Chapter Two

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

* * *

This is the R-rated version of a NC-17 story.

This chapter has been edited in accordance with the terms of service.

To read the NC-17 version of this chapter, visit my livejournal: http :www . livejournal . com / users / goblet / 8533 . html

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Remus quietly followed Sirius into the staffroom and watched as he greeted both Minerva and Lily. After greeting the two ladies, he looked around the room. He could smell Him.

Slowly, he began to walk towards the group of armchairs near the fireplace. The scent was getting stronger. He had definitely been here earlier; He hadn't left more than a few minutes before they had entered the room. Remus sat down in the chair He had been sitting in not five minutes ago. Was He still at Hogwarts? Remus looked towards Lily; if she was still here, then there was a fair chance that He was too.

Remus looked over at Minerva, feeling somewhat uneasy under her scrutiny. He stood. "If it's ok with you, I think I'll go freshen up. I'm not particularly hungry. I'll catch up a bit later." The werewolf bid his friends goodbye and hurriedly left the room, anxious to find Him.

* * *

Remus walked alone through the deserted hallways of the school. Using his extraordinary sense of smell, he tracked Him through the castle, eventually coming to a simple wooden door in the dungeons.

There, in the midst of brewing a very potent potion stood his lover of three years.

Remus stood watching as the man in front of him carefully prepared ingredients, gently adding them to the cauldron bubbling away in the middle of the room: each movement precise and calculated, each swing of the knife exact and accurate, each stir of the cauldron efficient and effective. He felt himself grow hard as he stood there watching. He had been half-hard since he had first detected the man's presence almost fifteen minutes ago. But this was not something new to Remus: lately, it seemed that Remus' body was responding to even the most subtle evidence of his lover.

The man in question added yet another ingredient to the potion, stirred it once counter clockwise, and turned down the flame. "Are you just going to stand there all night?" he inquired snarkily as he began clearing up.

Remus chose not to answer, instead opting to ask about the potion. "Polyjuice?"

Severus nodded and stirred the cauldron once again. "The Order goes through it faster than I can replenish it. This will be ready tomorrow." Severus wiped his stirring rod and set it on the bench before picking up two jars and returning them to the storeroom.

Remus hypnotically followed his lover into the small cupboard. Locking and warding the door, he walked up behind Severus, his arms slithering around the slim waist, as he murmured a lubrication charm.

* * *

Sated, and somewhat exhausted, Remus pulled out of his lover's body, letting his robes fall, regaining his modesty.

He glanced at Severus, who was still leaning against the shelving, breathing heavily. His robes pushed up, pooling on his back, his legs and arse on display, semen trickling down his thighs.

Remus looked away, trying to look at anything but Severus' abused body, and saw the tattered remains of a pair of underpants on the floor. He stooped to pick them up as Severus straightened from his hunched position, his robes falling to the ground.

Wordlessly, he handed the Slytherin back his underwear, unable to look him in the eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, eyes downcast.

"What the hell for?"

"Raping you."

"Raping me?"

Remus looked up at the other man. "I came down here and jumped you. I didn't even bother to ask how you were; I just thrust right in, taking what I wanted I never gave you a choice I never gave you a chance to say no I **locked** the door so you couldn't get away."

Severus took one step forward, bringing him nose to nose with his lover. "I know how to defend myself. If I didn't want you to touch me, you would be unconscious in the Hospital Wing right now. I enjoyed that immensely: being taken by you; surrendering to you. I'm so hard for you." He took Remus hand in his, and guided it to his groin.

"But I-"

"Shhh. No more talk of you 'jumping' me. I want to make love to you. I want to come in you."

Removing Remus' hand from his erection, he unlocked the storeroom door, and led his lover into his private bedchambers.

* * *

The two men lay naked together: kissing and touching as Remus recovered from their earlier encounter. "Let me worship you," Severus whispered pushing his lover onto his back.

Severus laid tiny kisses around Remus' mouth before slowly kissing along his jaw and down his throat. He stopped to suckle at a collarbone before continuing his journey and paying homage to Remus' nipples.

_I love you._

* * *

Severus lay cuddled into Remus side as they both relaxed in the bed. He was tracing random patterns on his lover's chest when Remus rolled over and out of the bed. Sitting up, Severus watched as Remus began to pull on his underwear and robes.

"Stay."

"I can't. James and Sirius will be looking for me."

"I'm sure they can do without you for one night."

"I'd rather not risk it."

"Why not?"

"I'd just rather not."

"Why the bloody well not?! Are you too bloody scared to admit to your pathetic little friends that you are gay?! Are you ashamed of being a bloody poofter are you? Am I not good enough for you? Are you ashamed of me? Ashamed of buggering Snivellus?!" Snape exploded.

He paused for a moment before continuing, his voice deathly quiet, "Ashamed of being buggered by Snivellus?"

"It's not like that," Remus whispered.

"What's it like then, Lupin? Explain it to me, because I as sure as hell don't understand."

Remus looked at the floor, unable to speak, unable to put into words how he felt, **why** he felt.

"Get out," Severus' voice was low and menacing. "Get out and _never_ come back."

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	4. Chapter Three

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 3**

Saddened and distraught, Remus slowly made his way back to the staffroom. He had absolutely no doubt that his lover had been deadly serious when he ordered him out of his bedroom and out of his life.

He was confused. When they had first started sleeping together it had been for mutual fulfilment. They both had needs which needed satisfying and both knew that the understanding was not a long-term arrangement. Severus knew that he would wait until his wolf chose a mate, and Remus knew that the Slytherin's parents would be arranging his marriage for him. Discreetly sleeping together made things easier and less complicated. It was great sex with no strings attached.

Which led him to his current confusion: why was he feeling so miserable? If what he had with Severus was only sex, why did he feel as though his whole world had caved in?

_He's the one_. Remus shook his head. Where had that come from?

Reaching the deserted staffroom, Remus once again sat down in the armchair he had occupied earlier. He thought about how anxious he had been getting every time he went to an Order meeting and Severus wasn't there. How fretful he'd become anytime he heard that another member had been hurt. How he worried about him just as much as he worried about his friends, perhaps even more so. How he had lost control earlier that evening. How he could only think of his lover once he had sensed his presence. How he had been unable to rest until he had seen and felt and made love to him. _Made love to_? When had it changed from shagging to 'making love'?

Gradually, Remus came to a conclusion: a conclusion which he should have come to months ago. His wolf had chosen his mate. And his mate was Severus Snape. The only problem was, Severus wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

* * *

"There you are Moony! I was wondering where you had gotten to." James ambled into the staffroom and tumbled into one of chairs beside Remus.

"Hi, Prongs," replied Remus distractedly.

Severus had accused him of being ashamed of his sexuality, ashamed of his mate. Was he? Would his friends abandon him if he told them he was gay? Logically he knew that true friends wouldn't; and he knew his friends were true.

But what about Severus? Would they accept that Severus was his mate? Would they understand that he loved the greasy, annoying, snarky bastard, who had at one time been their worst enemy?

"James, did you know Severus is here for the Mid-Summer ball?" he asked.

"Minerva said as much, but I haven't seen hide nor hair of him yet. He's probably hiding away in the dungeons, keeping his grease to himself."

"What do you think of him?"

"What I **think** of him? For goodness sake, Moony, you know what I think of him," James said, then saw something in his friend's eyes. "Are you asking me for my honest opinion?"

"Give me your honest opinion. What do you think of him as a man?"

James rolled his eyes. "I think he's too scrawny to be considered muscular, too sallow to be considered fair, too **greasy** to be considered clean and too little to be considered great. However, I will say this: if he was not who he is, he would not be unhandsome, but being who he is, I don't like him."

"So in other words, you think he's handsome and you don't like him."

"I said he was not unhandsome. But, if your idea of handsome is a scrawny, sallow, greasy _boy_, then I presume, in your **deluded** thinking, he is handsome."

"You think I'm taking the piss. Seriously James, tell me what you think of him as a **person**."

"Remus what is going on? Why this sudden interest in Snivellus? What are you trying to tell me?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I'm gay," he whispered, his eyes downcast, studying the pattern of the rug underfoot.

Silence.

"Is that what this is about? You're trying to tell me you prefer men? Sweet Merlin, Remus! You should have just come out and said so!" James burst out with laughter.

The werewolf looked up at his friend, relief evident in his eyes.

"Here I was thinking you were sweet on Snivellus!" James continued, his eyes dancing.

Remus' face fell as Prongs unintentionally criticized his choice of mate. "I think he is the sweetest, most considerate man that I have ever met," Remus responded quietly.

James stared at his friend. "Moony, mate, I know I wear glasses but **Snape**? For the love of Merlin, just look at Lily: Ok, she's not exactly a man, and she is possessed with an Irish fury, but don't you think that she beats Snape in both sweetness and consideration? I mean, comparing Snape to Lily is like comparing Mid-Winter to Mid-Summer…" he trailed off.

_The sweetest, most considerate man that I have ever met?_ **No!** The Gryffindor's mouth opened and closed in a humorous rendition of a goldfish, as he came to a very accurate conclusion. _Remus **liked** Snape? Liked as in wanted to… touch him? Liked as in wanted to shag him? Liked as in wanted to **marry** him? Oh Sweet Merlin!_

"Oh God! You've chosen your mate, haven't you?"

Remus nodded, his eyes downcast. "I can hardly believe it myself," he said softly.

James stood up, throwing his hands into the air. "It's come to this, has it? You, of all people, were the one person I would least expect to fall for Cupid's arrows."

Sirius poked his head into the room. "What secrets are you two whispering about?" he asked.

"I would tell you, but it's not my secret to share," replied James, playing the fool.

"When has that ever stopped you? Come on spill."

James needed little persuading. "He…" the Auror pointed a shaking finger at Remus, "Is in **love**. **LOVE!** And that is only the beginning! Do you know **who** he is in love with? Remus, care to share who has tamed your wild beast?"

Remus face flushed crimson as he continued to stare at the rug. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

"**Snivellus!** He's in love with **Snape**! His wolf has chosen **Snape**!" James exploded.

"It's true," Remus admitted softly, hugging himself even tighter, bracing for an explosion.

Sirius shrugged, "Well, if the wolf has chosen, the wolf has chosen. It could have chosen someone far, far worse. Do you love him?"

Remus nodded.

"Then he is worthy of you."

"You're just saying that," the werewolf mumbled.

"On my honour, Moony, I speak my thoughts," said Sirius, kneeling in front of his friend.

"And in confidence, Padfoot, I spoke mine."

"And on my two honours and in my two confidences I spoke mine."

"Shut up James!"

"I feel… I love him," affirmed Remus, saying the words out loud for the first time.

"I know that he is worthy," repeated Sirius.

"I neither feel how he should be loved, nor know how he is worthy. And even if you burnt me alive at the stake, I still would not change my opinion on the matter."

"James! Lily is right, you are an idiot. Open your eyes! He is a spy! The man has put his life on the line for all of us. One wrong move and he's dead. Are you telling me that you don't think he is worthy of Remus' love?" reprimanded Sirius.

"I don't think it's Snape that's bothering him as much as the idea of getting married," Remus said softly.

James scoffed. "That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks. But don't you think for one minute that I would place myself under the spell of a woman. I'm not saying that I mistrust them, but I retain my right not to trust any of them. Indeed, I will die a bachelor."

"And before **I** die, my friend, I will see you pale with love."

"You may see me pale, mate, but it would be with anger, with sickness or with hunger, not with love. Promise me this though: if I do succumb to love's fickle whims, pick out my eyes and hang me at the door of the Hog's Head as a warning of blind Cupid."

"When you do fall in love, James, you're going to prove yourself a hypocrite," Remus chuckled.

"If I do, then you can pickle me in one of Snape's precious jars and use me for potion ingredients."

"Give it time Moony," Sirius said, smiling widely. "What was it your mum always says, Prongs? 'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke'?"

"A savage bull may, but if ever I bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead. And hang a sign around my neck: 'Here is a good horse to hire: James Potter, the married man'!"

"You'd be horn mad!"

The three friends burst out laughing.

Once they had composed themselves once more, Sirius looked at his watch. "James, I meant to tell you earlier, Minerva wanted a word, something about your costume for the ball. If you hurry you will catch her before she goes to bed."

"Now he tells me! I'll be off then. See you both later."

Sirius watched as James hurried out of the room, before turning to Remus. "Finally! I thought we'd never be rid of him."

Lupin smiled, relieved that his friends were not ashamed of him. He had expected a fair amount of backlash to both his sexual preference and his choice of mate. He was thankful that the only thing James had a problem with was marriage in general, and he had had a problem with that ever since his mother had started encouraging him to find a nice girl.

"Padfoot, I need some help."

"Of course Moony, anything."

"I've royally screwed up any chance I have with Severus."

"It's Severus now is it?" Sirius chuckled.

"Padfoot, I'm serious. He wants nothing to do with me. He hates me."

"He's usually snarky to everyone. It doesn't mean that he hates you specifically."

"He hates me specifically."

"How do you know? Did he tell you that he hated you?"

"He threw me out of his rooms and told me never to come back."

Sirius snorted. "What were you doing in his rooms? You know you just can't confess your love for someone out of the blue. Especially not Snape, I'm not surprised he threw you out."

"He is…" Remus drew up his legs once more. "He **was**… my lover."

"What?!?" Sirius' chin hit the floor.

Remus told Sirius about his relationship with Severus. How it had begun as an agreement for sex in their seventh year. How they continued to see each other on weekends and holidays. How he kept feeling drawn to Severus. How at times he couldn't think about anything or anyone except his lover. Then, the fight before realising that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Severus.

"I can't believe you were shagging him and we didn't know," whispered Sirius when Remus had finished speaking.

Remus shrugged, "We kept it quiet, I didn't think that you would understand."

"And you're certain that he won't talk to you?"

"I'm too afraid to try."

"I'll talk to him for you, if you want."

"You don't have a very good history with him. He'll think you're taking the piss."

Sirius was quiet for quite a while. "Tomorrow is the Mid-Summer's ball; the **masked** Mid-Summer's Ball. I'll use polyjuice to disguise myself as you. I'll tell Snape that I am Remus, and say everything that you would say to win him back. And you will have him!"

"Polyjuice?"

"They won't miss a tiny vial. It'll work Moony; I promise you before the night is out you will have your mate!"

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	5. Chapter Four

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 4**

The next morning, Minerva was busy in her office organising last minute tasks for the Mid-Summer ball. She saw her sister walking by the open door and called to her, "Arabella, have you confirmed the music for this evening?"

Arabella Figg was Minerva's older sister and, although a squib, thoroughly enjoyed attending and coordinating the Mid-Summer Ball. She stepped into the office, her face beaming with delight. "Yes, yes, that was all organised weeks ago." She was excited and made no move to hide it.

"Minerva, I have heard the strangest news."

"Strange news? Does that mean good news?"

"It appears good, but one is never entirely sure in these matters."

Minerva raised her eyebrow; her sister was positively floating. "Well, out with it then, don't keep me waiting in suspense!"

Arabella smiled. "Last night one of the house-elves was tidying up the staffroom when he overhead young Sirius confess to Remus that he loved none other than your friend Severus! Sirius is planning to approach him **tonight** at the ball. He plans to woo him!"

Minerva was horror-struck. Only yesterday she had learnt that Remus and Severus had been long-term lovers. And now it was revealed that _Sirius_ loved Severus as well. She couldn't believe it. The enmity between the two men was almost as bad as the feud between James and Lily.

"You trust the house-elf who told you?" she asked, mindful of the fact that house-elves often misinterpreted conversations.

"Completely. Would you like me to summon him so that you can question him yourself?"

"No, that isn't necessary. But I will not consider this rumour to be true until Sirius makes his move."

Minerva sat wordlessly in her chair. What about Remus? How was he taking it: one of his best friends declaring his infatuation for his lover? Had he acknowledged Severus as his lover? If he hadn't, would he? Would he give him up without a fight?

But more importantly: what about Severus? Minerva had come to love him as a son, snarkiness and all. He had to be told. This would surely trouble Severus, especially if Sirius was sincere. How would he tell Black that he wasn't interested without starting a fight, or outing Remus? And what if Sirius was not sincere? What if it was another malicious prank?

What if Severus was also keen on Sirius? Minerva dismissed this thought immediately. After everything that Lily had told her yesterday, she was certain that Severus loved Remus and only Remus.

"I will speak with Severus, so that he may be prepared if Sirius does approach him," she said gravely.

* * *

Feedback very welcome! 


	6. Chapter Five

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 5**

Regulus Black and Rabastan LeStrange sat in the Muggle-studies classroom smoking cigars. The air was thick and murky with smoke.

Rabastan watched his friend with increasing scrutiny. "It's Mid-Summer's Day. Why are you so gloomy?"

"Gloomy? It is my character to be sombre and depressed."

"But it's Mid-Summer!"

"So?"

Rabastan snorted. "Well, even if you aren't happy, that's no reason to look as though your best friend just died."

Regulus shot his friend a death glare. "I am what I am. Why should I pretend that I'm something that I'm not? I will eat when I am hungry, I will sleep when I am tired, I will laugh when I am cheerful, and **I will be sad when I am miserable**."

"Yes, but why persist in **showing** your unhappiness? Sirius has only very recently started to be friendly with you again. **Very** recently. If you want to remain on good terms with him, you ought to at least _appear_ cheerful."

Regulus bristled; he was sick and tired of trying to keep on his brother's good side. No matter that their parents treasured him over his brother, the rest of the world _loved_ Sirius and looked down its nose at him: a Slytherin. He was always minding his tongue and watching his behaviour. The general public did not care about the truth: only about hearsay.

"Why should I conform to his expectations? Is it not bad enough that I have been branded a Dark Wizard, while my Gryffindor brother is celebrated as a hero? If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime, let me be **me** and don't try to change me."

"If only you could put all that malice to good use," Rabastan grinned.

"Oh, I'll make use of it, don't you worry about that," Regulus replied, his face lighting up with a wicked smile.

As the two continued smoking, they heard footsteps approaching from down the hall. They stopped before the door, and the two graduands saw a pointed nose peeking in from behind the doorjamb.

"Come in, Pettigrew!" called Rabastan.

Regulus sniggered as the chubby, mousy-haired Gryffindor entered the room. His brother, Sirius, didn't know that he and Pettigrew kept the same company. Pettigrew looked excited. Something was up. "What's new Peter?" Regulus asked.

Wormtail looked from Regulus to Rabastan, waving the smoke away from his eyes, before drawing up a chair. He leant forward and began whispering. "I was in the staffroom last night picking up some leftovers, when Remus came in looking ghastly. I didn't want to disturb him, so I changed into my animagus self, with every intention of leaving the room. But I was distracted by this hunk of Brie which had been left on the table and I was just eating-"

"Pettigrew, I am not in the mood to learn about the palates of rats," Regulus warned.

"Ah yes, of course you're not. Silly me," he paused, collecting his thoughts. "I can give you news of an intended marriage."

_A marriage?_ Regulus sat thoughtfully, puffing once more on his cigar. _Yes, that would do splendidly, a perfect event in which to cause mischief._ "And who is getting married?"

"That would be your brother's best friend."

"The most humble Remus?"

Peter chortled. "It certainly isn't James."

Regulus scowled at the animagus; talking to Pettigrew was comparable to watching Flobberworms mate. "Who is he marrying?"

"Severus Snape"

Rabastan choked. "Severus?" he asked, disbelievingly.

"How do you know?" asked Regulus, impatient for details.

"Well, as I was saying, I was happily eating some cheese in the staffroom, where Remus was moping, when I realised that he wasn't alone. I don't usually spy on my friends, you know, but then I couldn't exactly just step into the conversation, nor could I escape, they were blocking the door -"

"Pettigrew," Black growled.

"I'm getting off track again. Long story short, your brother plans to use Polyjuice to disguise himself as Remus and then try to woo Snape for himself. When he is successful, they intend to swap. Snivellus wouldn't suspect a thing."

"When do they plan to do that?" asked Rabastan, intrigued.

"Tonight, at the ball. I just thought that you would find it amusing to watch, but you didn't hear anything from me, alright?" Peter implored. "I really must go; we're all having lunch in the Great Hall."

The two Slytherins sat quietly as they watched the spotty Gryffindor scurry from the room.

Eventually Regulus turned to his friend. "I hate Lupin. He's too good and clean and pure. My brother favours **him** over **me**. I should be loved and respected, not some half-blooded Gryffindor," he snarled.

Rabastan's face lit up, the potential for mischief was not inconsiderable. "This is the _perfect_ opportunity Regulus."

"I know, Rabastan, I know. Will you help me?"

Rabastan smirked. "To the Death."

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	7. Chapter Six

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 6**

"Did you see Regulus or Rabastan at lunch?" Minerva asked her sister, as she magically strung fairy lights around the ballroom.

"I haven't seen them at all. If you hadn't told me that they were in the castle, I would have never known they were even around."

"Count yourself lucky. Regulus always looks sour and unpleasant, the thought of looking at his bitter face puts me off my food," retorted Lily as she helped Severus fill glass globes with Weightlessness Water. The globes would float around the top of the room as decorations, much like Muggle helium balloons.

"He's always been very melancholy," Severus replied, sending another globe to the ceiling.

"I think", continued Lily, waving her wand about, "that the ideal man is one who is halfway between Regulus and James. One is devilishly handsome, but doesn't say a word, and the other is a motor mouth."

"Sounds like you are describing Severus," remarked Arabella.

Lily laughed as Severus' brow furrowed. "Aye, Severus is the perfect man, pity that he bats for the other team," she teased, poking him in the ribs.

"Oh, shut up," he whispered, embarrassed that Lily was talking so candidly about his sexuality.

"If you were to put half James' tongue in Regulus' mouth, and half of Regulus' melancholy in James' face –" continued Minerva.

"With a good head on his shoulders, and a few galleons in Gringotts, then such a man could have any woman he wants, provided that she was amiable," Lily completed.

Minerva chuckled, "Provided that he didn't want you, you mean. You know, Lily, if you don't watch that tongue of yours you will never marry."

"For which I thank Merlin every day," replied Lily. "I have decided that I would not like a husband with a beard on his face."

"Well, get a husband who has no beard," countered Arabella.

"What would I do with him? Dress him up in my clothes and pass him off as my sister? He who can grow a beard is more than a youth, while he who can not is less than a man. He who is more than a youth is not for me, and I am not for those who are less than men."

"Hell's bells," moaned Severus, shaking his head.

"Nope! I will only get to the gates of hell, where the devil will meet me, and say 'Get to heaven, Lily, get to heaven! This is no place for the likes of you.' And I'll head up to heaven, where I will be shown where the bachelors sit, and I'll live – make that **die** – happily ever after," she grinned.

"Speaking about bachelors," Lily turned to Severus. "I hear Sirius is going to proposition you tonight."

Severus grumbled something under his breath. "You make it sound as though he is going to try to lure me into his bed."

Lily gave him a rather pointed look.

"Well I'd rather dress up in one of your dresses and pretend to be your sister," he retorted.

"You've never met my sister: neck like a stalk, very nosey, very Muggle."

Lily looked over towards Minerva and Arabella, watching as they argued over which form the ice-statue would take this year. She leant over and whispered in his ear. "You wouldn't be saying that if it was Remus who was going to seduce you."

Severus flushed crimson. He had not told Lily about the Fight. Nor that he had ended their relationship.

"I called it off," he whispered, his voice barely loud enough to hear.

"But you **love** him!" Lily's voice was soft and gentle.

"He doesn't love me."

Severus voice was downcast, almost cracking. Lily could see him struggling not to cry. She had no response. She couldn't refute his statement.

"Oh, Sev," she exclaimed, pulling him into a strong embrace. Lily held the rigid Slytherin tight, comforting him. "It'll be alright. I promise you. It'll be alright."

_I'll kill him._

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	8. Chapter Seven

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 7**

Severus walked, subdued, back to his quarters to prepare for the ball. It was astonishing: twenty-four hours ago, he had been looking forward to the masquerade dance, but now with the festivities starting in less than half an hour, he was dreading it.

As he showered, he fingered the bruise on his shoulder. Who knew Remus would have left a bite mark through three layers of clothing? Severus sunk to the floor of the shower, hugging his knees under the stream of water as tears began to spill down his face.

_Why doesn't Remus love me? Why doesn't he care? He hasn't so much as glanced in my direction all day; he's so caught up with seeing Pettigrew again, and their Marauder reunion._

It hurt. Severus sniffled.

_Of course he would choose his friends over me. It was only sex for him. Was I only a convenient hole, somewhere to stick his cock?_

It hurt. Merlin, it hurt.

Severus stood up as the water began to run cold. Quickly washing his hair, he turned off the taps, and wrapped himself in a large, fluffy towel.

He still loved Remus. In spite of everything he still loved him. The werewolf's betrayal had done nothing to quell that feeling. He still loved the way his mouth crinkled as he ate. He still loved the way he stroked his shadowy beard when he was thinking. He still loved the way he laughed. He still loved how he would go out of his way to help his friends. He still loved the way he played with the children from the village. He still loved his bravery, his courage, his compassion. He loved Remus John Lupin.

The potions student dashed into his bedchamber, the icy stone floor cold on his bare feet. Slowly, he began to dress, still grieving over his failed relationship.

Was it too much to ask that someone love him? For someone to care about him? For someone to want to be with him? Why had he even thought that Lupin would return his feelings?

Severus knew that the werewolf would influence who Lupin loved. But was friendship too much to ask? A simple hello when he saw him in the street? Snape threw his towel across the room in a fit of anger. It just wasn't fair!

Severus struggled as he donned a white flowing tunic. He really was going to have to have a word with Lily about his costume. Honestly, an angel, complete with white, feathery wings? What had she been thinking? There would be no way he could hide in a corner now. Everyone would see him. Including Black.

According to Minerva, Black was planning to seduce him. Why? He certainly didn't believe Arabella's story that Black was _in love_ with him. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he believed that it was all some horrible practical joke. Maybe Lupin had finally confessed to bedding him now that he had called off their arrangement, and Black thought him an easy target. But Severus very much doubted that, Remus would never tell. He had never wanted to tell his friends that they had been dating, and he certainly wouldn't do so now.

Black must want to humiliate him. Undoubtedly Potter and Pettigrew would be nearby with a camera waiting to catch his misery on film. Did Lupin know about that? Severus didn't think he would be able to cope if Remus was party to the scheme.

Adjusting his wings once more, Severus picked up the towel from where it had landed under his wardrobe. He hung it up on the towel rack in the bathroom before slipping on a white, Venetian mask.

With the mask covering his entire face, his customary black robes exchanged for a dazzling white tunic, and two abundantly full wings attached to his shoulder blades, Severus pulled himself together and set off to the ball.

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	9. Chapter Eight

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 8**

"Angel, will you walk about with your friend?" asked a thin man, as Severus stood rather awkwardly by the dance floor. The man was dressed entirely in black, with a loose silk shirt, open to mid chest, and tight leather pants. He wore a large, brimmed hat on his head, and a black, cotton mask covered his eyes.

Looking beyond the mask, Severus could see his lover's amber eyes, twinkling in the firelight. The jaw was also that of his lover's: strong and angular, and covered with the five-o'clock shadow the werewolf always bore. But something wasn't right. There was something about this face. It looked like Remus; yet he did not act like him.

And then it clicked. Black. It was Black. And he was propositioning him disguised as Lupin.

Severus' heart rate soared in alarm. What was going on? Why on earth was Black masquerading as Lupin? Had the werewolf told them? Had they known all along? Had they been laughing at him for years?

"Angel?" Black repeated.

Severus stared at him. He needed to get away. He would not be humiliated twice in as many days. How long had he played the fool? Three years? The shame was mortifying.

Breaking out of his stupor, he pushed the masked man away and began weaving his way through the crowd, wanting nothing more than to curl up in his bed, under his blankets and not speak to anyone for at least a month.

"Snape! Snape! Oh for the love of Merlin, just hear me out!"

* * *

Peter Pettigrew stood by the refreshments table inspecting the cheese platter. He had just managed to construct a cracker layered with five different cheeses and a slice of salami when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Rodolphus, hello!" he exclaimed, spinning around to see the elder LeStrange brother dressed entirely in black, and without a mask. "Cracker?" he asked, holding out his tasty treat.

Rodolphus looked down his nose at the portly Gryffindor, "No, thankyou."

"So, what brings you to Hogsmeade? I thought you said you wouldn't be able to get to Hogsmeade for another few weeks," Wormtail garbled, shoving the mini-tower into his mouth and spraying crumbs all over the Slytherin.

Rodolphus looked disgusted as soggy pieces of cracker flew onto his shirt. He pulled out his wand and cast a cleansing charm. Once clean, he leant forward and whispered in Pettigrew's ear. "Bellatrix refuses to put out. I'm feeling randy, have time for a shag?"

* * *

Arabella Figg twirled around the dance floor, laughing with merriment. She had had a little too much of her 'special' punch and was feeling particularly cheerful.

"I know you," she said as she returned to her masked partner's arms, "you are Aberforth Dumbledore."

Arabella's partner, who was indeed Aberforth, smiled. "You are mistaken."

"I know you by the waggling of your head!"

"I'm a great impersonator, am I not?" he laughed.

"No one could impersonate him so well. Look, even your hands are just like his!"

Aberforth just laughed and whirled Arabella about the dance floor.

* * *

"You won't tell me who told you?" asked Maid Marian.

Robin Hood's eyes sparkled, "No."

"And you won't tell me who you are?"

"Not now," replied James, he was having far too much fun dancing with Lily without her knowing his identity.

"As I was saying, Potter told me that I was scornful."

"Potter?"

"I'm sure you have heard of him."

"No, never."

"He's never made you laugh? Never slighted you?"

"I'm sorry, milady, I have no idea who you are talking about."

Lily sighed. "He is a fool, a clown, a buffoon. His only talent is devising insults and slander. When he tries to 'entertain' people, he both angers and amuses them. Only licentious and lecherous women fancy him. And they aren't attracted to his wit, let me tell you that!"

James forced a hollow, fake laugh. "If I ever meet him, I shall tell him."

"Do and to save face, he will say something similar about me, I kid you not."

James' face was pale with anger under his mask. How dare she!

The band started up a lively Conga dance. Lily grabbed James' hand. "Come, let's join the line!"

* * *

Regulus and Rabastan stood in a sheltered corner in the ballroom. Neither man had bothered donning a mask for the evening, believing the custom old-fashioned and childish.

"I saw your brother here earlier," remarked Regulus.

The younger LeStrange chuckled. "He's probably in the dog house. No doubt he tried to get your cousin into bed again."

"Is Bellatrix still insisting that they wait until they are married?"

Rabastan nodded.

"Explains why he left with Pettigrew then."

"What he sees in that slob is beyond me."

"He puts out."

Rabastan crinkled his nose at the disturbing mental image. "Speaking about brothers, **your** brother caught up with Snape outside," he whispered, changing the subject of whose brother had a sex life.

"And?"

"Snape saw through the Polyjuice immediately. The man's not stupid. He refused to talk to him until it had worn off."

"Really?" Regulus was intrigued.

"Indeed, your brother was on his knees when I left."

"And Snape was listening?"

"He seemed to be."

"Look, there is the half-blood," murmured Regulus as he spotted Remus, who was dressed identically to Sirius.

"Nice costume," Rabastan scoffed.

Regulus smirked before making his way across the hall to the Gryffindor. "Hello Potter."

"Regulus," Remus acknowledged. He saw no reason to correct his mistake, especially if Sirius was still speaking with Severus.

"Potter, you are much closer to my brother than I am. He is besotted by my housemate, Severus. I beg you, dissuade him from Snape. They are not a good match, the Snape family is nothing compared to the Blacks."

Remus was aghast; Sirius was besotted by Severus? _His_ Severus? "I think you are mistaken. Sirius and Severus hardly get on."

"I heard him swear his affection," Regulus replied.

"Surely not," he whispered, mortified.

Rabastan put a hand on Remus' shoulder. "It is true. I saw him take off his mask and hat, kneel and propose to him. They are out in the garden if you don't believe us."

* * *

Remus locked himself in a stall in the men's bathroom. It could not be true. It could not!

After hurriedly excusing himself from the two Slytherins, he had made his way to the garden, where he had seen, as LeStrange had described, Sirius and Severus in close conversation.

Sirius, obviously no longer under the effects of the Polyjuice, had been standing before Severus, his hat and mask by his feet, his right hand entangled in the front of the Slytherin's tunic, pulling him close, while his left hand was cradling his head, their bodies pressed snugly together.

From where Remus had been standing, it was a cosy, sickening scene with both men staring into each other's eyes, their faces only inches apart.

Remus had then fled to the bathroom, hurt beyond all belief, not wishing to see his lover and friend engaged in a passionate kiss. He hadn't seen Sirius propose to his lover, but their conduct in the garden and Rabastan's declaration that Sirius had wooed Severus for himself, left him no doubt: _Sirius,_ his close _friend_ wanted to marry Severus.

The werewolf was heart-broken. After finally confessing his feelings to his friends, he had thought that they would help him. He had thought his friends were honest and true. He had never expected Sirius to pursue his mate.

He should never have trusted Sirius. Never had asked him for his help. **He** should have tried to talk to Severus himself, tried to win back his trust. He should have been the one proposing tonight. He should be the one in the garden kissing Severus; loving Severus.

But now he had lost his mate. He had lost the one person whom he truly loved. And Remus knew that it was his fault. If only he hadn't been such a coward. If only he had had the guts to announce his affection. If only he wasn't scared of his own sexuality. If only he hadn't trusted Sirius. If only, if only, if only!

Remus pulled a wad of toilet paper out of the dispenser and blew his nose.

"Goodbye Severus," he whispered to himself, saying a final, private farewell to the man he loved.

Remus heard the bathroom door swing open and crash against the tiles. "Moony?" called James.

The werewolf tried to compose himself before answering "Yeah?"

"You've been in here for ages."

"I know."

"Aren't you going to come out?"

"I don't know."

"God you sound depressed."

Remus didn't answer. Why couldn't James just leave him alone?

"Padfoot has your Severus."

"I wish them joy," Remus' voice was clearly miserable.

"You sound as though I would, if I found myself engaged." James rapped hard on the door of the stall. "Remus, what the hell are you doing in there anyway?"

"Just leave me alone."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"Go away!"

James hoisted himself up on the stall and peered over the door. "No, not until you tell me what's bothering you," he replied, looking down on his friend.

Remus stood up and snarled. He forcefully swung open the door, forcing James to the floor. "Nothing is wrong. I'm fine. I just wanted a little peace and quiet, but I guess that was too much to ask!" he snapped, before sprinting from the room.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	10. Chapter Nine

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 9**

James made his way back into the ballroom. He was concerned about Moony's strange behaviour, but had dismissed it as simple werewolf jealousy. He made a mental note not to spend any time alone with Snape. No doubt Remus would tear him apart if they started hexing each other again.

He was, however, troubled by Lily's words earlier that evening. She had called him a fool, a clown. What did she know? In these times of war it was always good to have some light comic relief.

Really! Only licentious and lecherous women fancy him? Well that was clearly jealousy on her part. Probably still upset that he'd dropped her after only two dates back in sixth year.

Not attracted to his wit? James scoffed. Was it his fault that his previous conquests shagged and squealed? Was it his fault that his reputation had preceded him? He took all credit for being great in bed, and well endowed, but it wasn't as though he went around boasting about the fact. Oh wait a minute. Yes he did.

Still, she had no right to speak about him in such a way to a complete stranger, someone she didn't even know. James stopped short. Since when had Lily ever spoken so candidly to a non-Order member? How did she know that she could trust the man she was dancing with?

Suddenly, James understood: Lily had bloody well known that she was speaking with him! Ooh she was going to pay!

James wandered over to the refreshments table and poured himself a cup of punch.

"Prongs, have you seen Moony?" asked Sirius as he approached the table.

James swallowed his drink before replying. "I found him crying in the toilets."

"Crying?" asked Sirius, slightly worried

Potter nodded. "I thought it was because he thought Snivellus didn't love him. So I told him, and I think I was telling the truth, that you told Snape that Remus loved him, and that Snape returned the feeling."

"So he was crying because he Snape loved him?" Sirius was confused.

James shook his head. "He told me that he wished you both joy. I think… I think he thinks you stole Snape."

"Stole him?"

"Like you saw whatever he sees in the greasy git and instead of trying to convince him that Moony loves him, you convinced him that **you** loved him." James looked up at his friend.

"Oh Merlin!" Sirius laughed. "Imagine thinking that I would find Snape attractive! I shudder to think. Of **course** I spoke on Moony's behalf!"

James looked relieved; he didn't think he could handle two of his friends being attracted to Snivellus. "Why did you do it? If you don't mind me asking that is. Why did you talk to Snape?" asked James. The question had been burning in his mind for the entire day.

"You're not asking the right question."

"I'm not?"

"No, the question you **should** have asked was: 'Why didn't **I** do anything about it?''"

"It is?"

"Prongs. This is Remus we are talking about. I would die for him. He needed for us to accept this. No matter how much I hate that greasy snivelling toad, I love Remus more. And he loves Snivellus. And while I detest the git, I can't tell Remus who to love. Obviously he sees something in Snape that we don't, and I admire him for that. That's why I support him. And that's why **you** should support him. Of course, if he had declared his undying love to Voldemort, I'd be a little worried - but he hasn't."

James looked at his friend, processing all that he had just said. It made sense, of course. And it was obvious that Remus needed them to accept Severus, just as they he had needed to accept his lycanthrope. Prongs scratched his head "Would you die for me?"

"Of course."

"Well that's alright then."

"You know, Lily has a bone to pick with you. The wizard she was dancing with told her told that you insulted her," stated Sirius, as he watched Lily across the room.

James opened his mouth in protest. "That woman! There I was, in costume, dancing with her, trying to see if she does, as she claimed, keep a civil tongue. And she tells me, that I am a clown, that I was duller than a Muggle doorknob, that I layer joke upon joke until my audience wishes to see me at the business end of a nasty hex. She speaks with daggers and every word stabs. If her breath was as foul as the words she speaks, she would gas every living creature for miles. In fact, if her breath was so foul, all we need do is portkey her into a Death Eater rebel and we'd win the war. I wouldn't marry her if she were the last woman left on this earth."

"Who said anything about marriage?" said Sirius, trying his best to keep a straight face. "Look, here she comes now," he continued smiling as Lily came barrelling towards them with Remus in tow.

"Oh sweet Merlin!" James turned to his friend. "I'm sure I have forgotten something - anything. We forgot to set the fireworks."

"Nope." Sirius grinned.

"I need to go and – um – refill the punch."

"It's self-replenishing."

"Paint the ceiling blue?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Repair Minerva's sneak-o-scope?"

"It's not broken."

"Get one of Albus' nose hairs for one of Snape's concoctions?"

"Eww"

"Well I'd rather try to pluck one of Albus' nose hairs than speak three words to _her_. Are you sure you can't think of anything I should be doing?"

"You **should** keep me company," replied Sirius as the two approached.

"Merlin – I don't think I can spend another minute in her company, I'm… off to find Peter, who knows where he has disappeared to."

Sirius laughed as he watched James flee from Lily's company. He turned to the young witch. "You, Miss Evans, have lost James' heart."

Lily sighed loudly. "You know Mr Black, he leant it to me for… hmm… about a week and a half. And then, he took it back and leant it to someone else. So I suppose you are correct: I have lost his heart." She picked up an orange from the fruit bowl and peeled it with her wand.

"He's terribly hurt about earlier."

Lily rolled his eyes. "And there he was trying to fool me in his costume."

She pulled Remus forward. He looked dreadful. "I found Remus, as you asked."

Sirius looked at his friend, concerned about how terrible he looked. "Moony, why are you so sad?"

Remus shook his head, "I'm not sad."

"You're sick?"

"No," came the mumbled reply.

"Remus is neither sad nor sick nor happy nor well, but civil. As civil as an orange but as green as a lime," piped up Lily as she nibbled on her fruit.

Sirius stepped up to the werewolf, and placed one finger under his chin, tipping his head up so that he could look into his eyes. Remus sniffled, his nose blocked from crying. "You're jealous," he stated, confused.

Black looked up as an un-masked Severus stepped up behind Remus. "Turn around," he whispered to his friend.

Remus, slightly uneasy, turned to face his lover. He still believed that Sirius and Severus were engaged. He didn't move. He couldn't move. So this was the final goodbye?

"He loves you," Sirius whispered directly into his ear, "and he wants to hear that you love him."

Remus stood dumbfounded: Severus was his? He hadn't lost him after all? A huge silly grin spread across his lips, lighting up his entire face.

"Oh, for the love of Merlin, **say** something!" exclaimed Lily.

"I- I- I love you," he stammered. "I think I always have. I don't think I can even begin to describe how much I love you, or how happy I am. I'm so very happy. And I love you so very much. I am yours and you are mine. I love you. Did I mention that already?" he rambled.

"Kiss him Sev," whispered Lily, "and stop this ceaseless chatter."

Severus hadn't heard her. All he heard, all he saw was his Remus. His beautiful, loving Remus. He thought he may be dreaming: his lover, his **love** returned his affection. His Remus loved him, and according to Black, Remus loved him just as much as he loved Remus.

Stepping forward, Severus cupped the werewolf's head in both his hands. "I love you," he murmured before leaning forward, and capturing his lover's lips in a soft kiss.

* * *

Lily and Sirius looked at each other slightly embarrassed as the two men embraced. "Its times like these that I wish that I had someone," she said quietly.

"I know plenty of eligible young bachelors…" replied Sirius.

Lily crinkled her nose.

"Will you have me?"

Lily shook her head shyly. "It would be like marrying my own brother."

"I suppose that that would put a dampener on our sex life," he chuckled, slightly hurt that Lily had rejected him, but not in the least surprised.

Lily nodded, it wasn't exactly something she wanted to think about. "Minerva!" she exclaimed as the deputy head-mistress approached them.

Minerva smiled and cocked an eyebrow, "When did that happen?" she asked quietly, gesturing to the two men who were still wrapped around each other.

"Just a few moments ago. Sirius was playing matchmaker."

"I was not."

"Yes you were." Lily turned to Minerva. "He was wooing Severus on Remus' behalf, and I believe they are now engaged," she informed the deputy-headmistress, knowing that the last the Scotswoman had heard was that Sirius was in love with Severus.

Minerva was overjoyed; she loved it when people were happy, especially in these dark times. "I see you put you're childish grudge aside then Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I just wanted Rem to be happy."

"It's sweet," remarked Lily, watching as the two lovers held each other close, talking quietly amongst themselves.

"Lily can you check the fireworks? I would send Severus along, but he seems slightly preoccupied at the moment."

"Not a problem, I'll see you later," she replied, before disappearing out into the garden.

"She's certainly high-spirited," stated Sirius, as he watched Lily depart.

"She's not a particularly sad person," Minerva agreed. "Except when she sleeps: she still has nightmares about her last encounter with _You-Know-Who_."

"She won't even entertain the thought of love."

"No, she purposefully chases any eligible bachelors away. I'm not sure if it is her fear of being heart-broken or fear of the war." replied Minerva.

"The war is no reason to stop living."

"I know." The deputy headmistress smiled a tight, small smile.

"You know, she is the perfect match for James."

Minerva laughed, "They would talk themselves mad within a week."

Remus and Severus, having decided that public displays of affection beside the refreshments table at the Mid-Summer Ball were not a good idea, moved to join Minerva and Sirius.

"Remus!" Sirius beamed, "Have you set a date?"

The werewolf blushed bright-red. "We were thinking tomorrow would be nice."

"TOMORROW?!" exclaimed Minerva. "Have you ever organised a wedding? There are rings, and licenses, and witnesses, and invitations, and flowers and a celebrant – oh I'm sure Albus would want to marry you. Why don't you wait until next Saturday? It is only one week away, and nearly not enough time to organise anything, but I know Albus would have returned by then."

The two lovers looked downcast. They both wished to marry as soon as possible. Severus was worried that Wilkes may call him back during the summer, and Remus was very possessive of his mate, wanting to make it official as soon as wizardly possible.

"Oh cheer up Moony! The time will fly by; only seven more sleeps – not counting tonight. It will be your wedding day before you know it!" Sirius grinned mischievously. "Meanwhile, I have a mission for you, **all** of you. It's a dark and dangerous mission, and nigh impossible to accomplish."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "And what is this dark, dangerous, impossible mission?" he asked.

"We are going to make James and Lily fall in love with each other!"

Minerva laughed. "That is an enormous task, but not an impossible one. They were made for each other." She smiled, "I'd be glad to help."

"Count me in," added Remus, grinning.

"And you Snape?"

The Slytherin nodded – it would be nice to see Lily truly happy.

Sirius drew in his co-conspirators. "James and Lily both claim to scorn love. But we know otherwise. They're both scared of being hurt, either because their sweetheart does not return their affection, or will fall victim to the Dark Lord. Now we can't do anything about the Dark Lord, but we can do something about the former.

"Minerva, Remus, together we should be able to persuade James that Lily is in love with him. Snape, you're the closest to Lily, you must persuade her that James is in love with her."

"And how am I meant to do that, Black?"

"Now's not the place to discuss this, we'll meet tomorrow," he whispered. "For now, let's go outside, before the fireworks start."

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	11. Chapter Ten

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

* * *

This is the R-rated version of a NC-17 story.

This chapter has been edited in accordance with the terms of service.

To read the NC-17 version of this chapter, visit my livejournal: http :www . livejournal . com / users / goblet / 10697 . html

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Severus led his fiancé into his quarters. Lucky enough to have rooms to himself, Severus locked and warded his door before turning to his soon-to-be-husband and capturing him in a fiery kiss.

His arms entwined around Remus' body as he in turn was snared in the werewolf's embrace. As the kiss broke, he pulled away slightly. "I've wanted to do that all night," he whispered huskily, before leaning in to take his lover's lips once more.

Remus pulled away. Seeing Severus' confused look, he smiled. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you," whispered the werewolf, as he led his betrothed further into the room.

Taking off his mask and hat, Remus placed them on an armchair, before taking off his cloak. He fumbled around in the pocket for a few moments, before pulling out a small, silk-covered box, slightly larger than a pumpkin juice carton, and placing the cloak over the back of a chair.

Severus raised an eyebrow, and then flushed pink when the werewolf dropped to one knee. A little smile crossed his lips, "You don't have to "

One look from Remus stopped him in mid-sentence. Still on one knee, he reached forward and captured Severus' right hand. He flipped open the box, to reveal a delicate choker: a deep purple amethyst, flanked by what appeared to be bezoars, set in an oval of gold bands.

"Oh Merlin!" whispered Severus, his free hand darting up to cover his mouth. "Remus you shouldn't "

Again, he was silenced by his fiancé.

Remus cleared his throat. He was beyond nervous. He felt silly really, but he wanted to ask Severus himself, he wanted Severus to say yes to him, not to Sirius.

"Severus Xaviour Snape, will you bond with me?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

Severus nodded earnestly, pulling on Remus' hand, trying to bring them closer together. When Remus didn't move, he dropped to his knees. "Yes," he whispered, a tear rolling down his face. He nodded again. "Of course I will, I love you," he said quietly, entangling his left hand in Remus hair. He leant forward, until their noses touched. "I love you, I am yours" he whispered again, before kissing his lover.

When the kiss finally broke, Remus looked down at his hands: one was still clutching Severus' hand, while the other held the amulet. Looking up at his fiancé, the werewolf smiled. "I love you, I can't wait to bond with you," he said softly.

He let go of Severus' hand, and pulled the choker out of the box. "The amethyst is a protection stone. It particularly guards against Dark Magic and Legilimency," he explained, as he magically opened the bands. "The bezoars on either side of the amethyst will neutralise any poisons or dark potions you are forced to drink."

Leaning forward, Remus slipped the choker around Severus' neck, murmuring a spell to join together the exposed bands. "I wanted to get you a ring, but this caught my eye, much more useful." Remus was blushing: embarrassed, Severus had been staring at him, unblinking. He leant forward and touched the amethyst. The choker tightened until it was sitting flush against Severus' skin, the amethyst resting in the hollow between Severus' collarbones.

"You can charm it invisible, though I doubt anyone would see it under those high collars of yours," Remus murmured, self-conscious about his extravagant gift.

Severus could do nothing but watch his fiancé. The choker was expensive, **very** expensive. Remus should not have been spending his money on things like that. As he listened to his lover's explanation, he could only hear love in his voice. As he looked into his eyes, he could only see love in them. "Thank you," he whispered. "I only wish I could assure you that it was unnecessary."

The werewolf smiled at his fiancé, and nodded in agreement. "You're welcome, just keep safe," Remus replied, embracing Severus, hugging him close.

The two continued kneeling on the floor, holding each other tightly. After a short time, Remus began to feel the effect that the cold, stone floor was having on his knees. Getting to his feet, he held a hand out to Severus. When his lover stood, he embraced him once more, kissing him passionately.

As Severus returned the kiss, they began to move further into his rooms. He pulled Remus' shirt free from his trousers and, unlacing the fastenings, stripped the werewolf of the garment.

Remus led Severus towards the bedchamber, suckling intently on his lower lip, shoes hastily kicked off as tongues and lips tangled in an erotic foreplay.

Once they reached the doorway, Severus refused to move beyond the threshold. Continuing to kiss his lover, Remus tugged at him to enter the room. When Severus didn't move he tugged again.

After tugging a third time he broke the kiss and looked into his lover's eyes. "What's wrong? Are you still angry?" he asked, beginning to panic. The last time they had made love, Severus had thrown him out of this very room.

"It's these infernal wings!" Severus exclaimed, exasperated. "Lily enlarged them and I can't fit through the door. You'll have to help me off with them."

Remus broke out in a grin. "But I was hoping to make love to an angel tonight," he teased.

"Not while I'm wearing these monstrosities you're not," Severus growled, trying, unsuccessfully to remove his feathered appendages.

Remus chuckled merrily, and planted a butterfly kiss on Severus' nose before ducking under a wing to stand behind him.

Pulling out his wand, Remus detached the wings, sending them to rest on the couch. He stepped, forward, winding one arm around Severus' waist, sweeping his hair aside, and sucking on the side of his neck, an echo of his actions the day before. But today there was no primal need to take Severus, only a passionate desire to make love to him.

Severus turned to face his fiancé, moving slowly in a bid to prolong their intimacy. He kissed Remus again, taking his time to thoroughly enjoy the moment.

* * *

A little while later, Severus rolled out of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

He returned carrying a small basin filled with warm, lavender scented water and a washcloth. Remus smiled as he watched his naked fiancé walk carefully with the bowl, he felt truly blessed.

Setting the basin on his bedside table, Severus began to bathe his lover.

"There are cleaning charms for this," whispered Remus as Severus sponged down his chest.

"They're not nearly as enjoyable."

"No?"

"Would you prefer a charm then?"

"No"

Severus continued washing, and was rinsing the washcloth when Remus took it from him.

"Your turn."

Severus smiled, and leant forward to kiss his fiancé, before settling back on the bed as Remus began to clean him.

"Sev?"

"Hmmm?" Severus had closed has eyes, the warm water and the lavender had been very relaxing.

"I saw you in the garden, with Sirius."

"You did?" The potions student opened his eyes; he could tell by Remus' voice that this was something very important to him.

"He was hugging you."

"Black never hugged me," Severus replied.

"I saw you. He had his hand in your hair, and you were holding his hand to your chest."

Severus was silent for a moment before he burst out laughing. "He wasn't hugging me," he replied once he had composed himself. "He was warning me that if I hurt you, he would personally cut off my balls and stuff them into my mouth."

"Oh"

Severus grinned. "Oh," he repeated.

"Well don't hurt me, I'm rather fond of your balls. And I'd rather them be in **my** mouth," Remus grinned sinfully, before giving a practical demonstration on exactly how much he enjoyed Severus' balls.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	12. Chapter Eleven

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

This is the R-rated version of a NC-17 story.

This chapter has been edited in accordance with the terms of service.

To read the NC-17 version of this chapter, visit my livejournal: http :www . livejournal . com / users / goblet / . html

* * *

-> 

**Chapter 11**

James headed towards the library. He had had an unpleasant morning trying to combat the effects of a severe hangover, which had not been helped by the sunlight streaming in his window at the ungodly time of 3 am.

He had been distraught after discovering that breakfast had been cancelled: especially after making the effort to relocate from Gryffindor Tower to the Great Hall.

And he could barely look at Remus without gagging. Moony had gone completely gaga over Snape. Honestly! Couldn't he wipe that silly grin off his face? And must they hold hands? People **had** been trying to eat.

So, after watching Remus squeeze Snivellus' hand for the **fifth** time during lunch, James had excused himself from the Great Hall, refusing to watch his friend make a complete fool of himself over Snivellus.

James stamped into the library, and headed straight for the Restricted Section. Transfiguring a bookend into a beanbag, he threw himself down into the cushioned seat, throwing his rucksack into a corner. _How could Remus act like that?_ he mused. The Marauders had spent a great deal of seventh year, and the time they now spent together, laughing at the silly antics of boys who proclaimed themselves **in love**. _And now, Remus has turned into one of **them**_.

_Two weeks ago_, he mused, _Moony would have happily come with us on a pub crawl. Now he wants to sit at home and carve a bloody wooden spoon!_ James seethed, referring to Lupin's Welsh traditions.

_Two weeks ago, it was Severus and Snape and Snivellus. Now it's **Sev**, and **Love**, and **Sweetheart**._

_Two weeks ago, it was Moony: Marauder and Werewolf. Now it's Remus: the moony-eyed lover._

James almost threw up. He was having no part in it. There was no way that he would **ever** start acting like Moony. He would never act like a love-struck idiot.

He'd gone out with beautiful women, and yet he didn't act like an idiot. He'd gone out with wise women, and yet he didn't act like an idiot. He'd gone out with honest women, and yet he didn't act like an idiot.

James sat, pondering love-struck idiots. He supposed that maybe, **maybe**, if he were to find a beautiful, wise, honest woman, he **may** begin acting like an idiot. But that didn't explain Remus' recent behaviour: Snape certainly wasn't beautiful, or wise, or honest. He was a crooked-nosed, unreasonable Slytherin.

As Potter sprawled on the floor, he began to make a mental list of all the things he was looking for in a woman. She had to be beautiful, wise, and honest; preferably a member of the Order, or at the very least against the Dark Lord. She should be intelligent and bright, and be able to hold a decent conversation. She would have to be able to hold her own in a fight and be able to

* * *

James' musings were interrupted a short time later when he heard the noise of people entering the room. Not wanting to be disturbed, and definitely not wanting to see Moony fawn over Snivellus, he pulled his invisibility cloak out of his bag and flung it over his body, hiding himself from view.

* * *

Remus led Minerva, and Sirius into the library. They had decided that there was no time like the present to encourage James to fall in love with Lily, so Remus had tracked the errant Marauder through the castle and into the Library.

"There are some wonderful books on wedding and bonding ceremonies in this aisle," called Minerva as she pulled the two young men into an aisle and directed them to the appropriate bay. She began pulling books off the shelf.

"Is he here?" whispered Sirius, as Minerva handed him book after book.

Remus nodded. "Three aisles down, under his cloak," he murmured, flicking through a book filled with ring designs.

Sirius grinned, "I'll just find us somewhere to sit then," he announced, walking out to the study area, and dumping his mountain of books on the desk. The table was close enough to the hidden Auror so that he could hear them clearly, but far enough away that they were hidden behind a bookcase.

James inwardly groaned. Of course Minerva and Sirius would help **Monsieur Love** plan his wedding. And he was most probably stuck here for the duration, considering the table they had decided to work at.

Minerva and Remus made their way to the table and sat down. Minerva began by opening one of the books. "Let's start with the guest list," she began.

"We want to keep it very quiet," replied Remus. "Only our closest friends."

"What about your parents?"

Remus shook his head, "They're in Australia, studying dingos or what not."

"Snape's parents?" asked Sirius.

"His mother's dead. And his father's in Azkaban," Remus said quietly.

"Oh." Sirius blushed.

There was an awkward silence.

"So, um, Minerva," Sirius began hesitantly. He may as well change the subject now that he'd put his foot in it. "You were telling me earlier that Lily is in love with James?"

Remus grinned; he had heard James shift under his cloak, as Sirius spoke. "I never thought that she would ever fall in love."

"Neither did I, and she is attracted to James, whom she claims to loathe," Minerva commented.

James was riveted. Lily, in love with him? Did he need his hearing checked?

"I'm not sure what to think of it, she is so confused. She loves him so passionately that it defies all logical explanations other than well, **love**," Minerva continued.

"Is she faking it?" asked Sirius, winking discreetly at Minerva.

"Faking it? Are you serious? No one could fake that. Not love that strong."

"What proof do you have?" Sirius queried.

Remus shuffled forward in his seat. "Careful, or James will see through the hoax," he murmured.

Minerva drew a blank. She could not think of a single thing to 'prove' that Lily loved James. "What proof? Why, I'm sure Severus told you." The deputy headmistress turned towards Remus.

A slight grin spread across the werewolf's face as he thought of his betrothed. "Yes, he did," he replied, somewhat distractedly.

"Details Moony, details!" Sirius exclaimed. "I mean this is **Lily**, she who **detests** love. I thought she was immune to that type of thing."

"I was surprised to find that she had fallen for James, of all people," Minerva replied solemnly, whilst trying her hardest to stifle her laughter.

James was floored. Had it been anyone but Minerva speaking, he would have thought it a hoax. But the information was coming from Minerva. **Minerva** was the one whom Lily had confided in. He shifted slightly in his beanbag, trying to move a little closer to the trio.

Remus smiled, he had heard James shuffling around on the floor. "He's taken the bait, let's reel him in," he murmured.

"Has she told James?" asked Sirius. "Perhaps he has turned her down?"

"Good Lord no! She is adamant that she never will: hence her distress," Minerva answered.

"It's true: given their history, she feels that she can't tell him that she loves him," added Remus.

Minerva nodded: she was enjoying herself far too much. "Severus says that she writes in her journal every night about him."

"I remember him telling me something about that" injected Remus, his voice sounding vague and puzzled.

The Head of Gryffindor leant forward, and spoke in a loud whisper. "She once got so carried away that she wrote down one of her fantasies one of **those** fantasies, if you know what I mean."

Remus beamed, and clapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing out loud. "Yes I remember, Severus told me," he added once he had composed himself again.

Minerva paused to calm herself. "She was so disgusted with herself that she tore it out of her journal, ripped up the pages into tiny little pieces, and incinerated them.

"I asked her once why she didn't just tell James that she loved him. And she said that if **James** were to tell her that he loved **her**, she wouldn't believe him, so she doesn't expect James to believe her if she were to tell him of her feelings."

"Sev said that when James went missing during the spring, she wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't do anything until she knew that he was safe. She goes into a severe depression when they have fought," Remus continued.

"Severus has been scared that she may do something rash" Minerva intoned, giving the impression that Lily had considered suicide over James.

"Should we tell James?" asked Sirius.

"What, so that he can torment her?" Remus demanded.

Sirius grinned, thankful that James couldn't see his face. "How foolish could he be? She's lovely and sweet."

"And wise."

"Except for loving James."

Minerva sighed. "What is wisdom when love comes into play? Love will always win."

"I was wondering why she turned me down last night. I would have married her in an instant. She was in love with James the entire time. We **have** to tell him," said Sirius.

"Do you really think that is wise?" asked Minerva.

Remus shook his head. "She says she will die if James doesn't love her. She will die if she tells him. And if he was to pursue her, she would rather die than spar with him."

Sirius sighed. "She's right though. If James found out, he'd never let it rest. He would take every opportunity to remind her of her weakness."

"He's a good man," Remus acknowledged.

"And happy."

"And, he too, is wise."

"And witty," Sirius continued, stroking James' ego. "I still think we should find James and tell him about Lily."

"I don't think so," replied Remus. "I'm sure she'll get over it."

"I think she would wear her heart out first," remarked Minerva.

"Well, there's no harm in waiting a little longer. Maybe Lily will tell him. I love James like a brother, but sometimes I want to strangle him," Sirius said decidedly, grateful that he hadn't burst out laughing during his speech.

The three co-conspirators sat quietly, almost overcome by giggles at the thought of Sirius strangling James.

"We should get to dinner," Minerva announced eventually, standing up.

Leaving the books strewn over the table, they left the library. Once they had reached the first staircase, they burst out laughing. "If he didn't fall for that, I'll buy you both a large bottle of Ogden's," Remus giggled.

Sirius grinned, "I'd rather you bought me one when they **do** get together. Now it's up to Snape to convince Lily that James loves her. Oh, what fun!"

"Let's send her to call him in for dinner," Minerva said mischief in her eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile James was still in the Library. When he was sure that he was alone, he pulled off the invisibility cloak. It had been getting hot under there.

He was stunned. It certainly wasn't a trick. The three of them had been arguing over whether or not to tell him about Lily's feelings. They seemed to pity her, especially since she had fallen in love with **him**.

It was certainly true that he would have teased her about her feelings. This was, of course, the reason why Lily would not admit her feelings for him.

He never thought that he would ever marry. But now, now that he knew that Lily was interested Well happy are those who can see their faults and change for the better!

_They said she was lovely, and sweet and wise. And they speak the truth. Well, wise in all things but loving me. But that neither counts in her favour nor works against her._

James sat with a silly grin on his face. He was loved. Would he love in return? As he sat there he knew that he would be the brunt of many jokes, particularly since he had fought so hard against love. But he didn't care. People change.

_When I said I would die a bachelor, I didn't think I would live to marry._

At this thought Lily burst into the library. She stopped at the door, scanning the quiet room, irate at being asked to find James and drag him to the Great Hall. Once she spotted him sitting in his beanbag, she marched towards him.

James looked up as she entered. _My, she is beautiful. The way her eyes lit up when she saw me it is obvious that she fancies me something horrid_.

"Against my will, I am sent to invite you to dinner," she stated crossly.

"Lily, thank you for your trouble," replied James, clearly smitten with his earlier enemy.

Lily rolled her eyes. Obviously James had been sniffing potions ingredients again. "I troubled myself no more than you trouble yourself to thank me. If it had been troubling, I would have refused to find you."

James smiled brilliantly. "You were happy to find me?"

"About as happy as you would feel upon losing your wand in a duel." Lily smirked. "You aren't hungry? Good bye then." Lily spun on her heel and stormed out of the library.

James remained seated, watching Lily as she left the room. A goofy grin spread across his face.

_'Against my will, I am sent to invite you to dinner' there's a double meaning in that,_ he thought.

_'I troubled myself no more than you trouble yourself to thank me.' In other words: Any trouble that I go to for you is as easy as thanks._

James' face was overcome by a great magnificent smile.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	13. Chapter Twelve

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 12**

"So Lupin and Snape are going to get married?" asked Regulus, as he sat in a booth at the Hog's Head inn, blue cigar smoke hovering around him.

Aberforth and Pettigrew were counting stock in the Chilling Room, after numerous blocks of cheese and several bottles of Vivian's Voracious Vodka had been stolen, so the three Slytherins had taken the opportunity to discuss the previous night's events.

Rodolphus LeStrange nodded, "Pettigrew told me so. Apparently your brother bullied Snape into accepting."

"Threatened to feed him his own testes," added Rabastan.

"I am sick and tired of Remus Bloody Lupin! First he takes my brother, and now he takes Snape!"

"We have a plan," Rodolphus said, refilling their glasses with the pilfered vodka.

"Nothing scrupulous," replied Rabastan, "but something so covert that that no one will suspect a thing."

"Tell me."

"I am sure that you are aware of my arrangement with Pettigrew?" answered Rodolphus.

"What's that got to do with destroying this marriage?"

Rabastan grinned. "Snape is a traditionalist. For a day before the wedding, he will refuse to see or communicate with Lupin, as is wizarding custom."

"As such, the two will be separated for the eve of the wedding, which would include the traditional Freedom Night," continued Rodolphus.

"On that night, you will go up to your brother and whisper in his ear that you have seen Snape shagging another bloke."

"I can't very well just tell him that! He would want proof."

"And he'll have it. Enough proof to infuriate your brother, torment Lupin, undo Snape, and give McGonagall a heart attack," Rodolphus responded.

"You're throwing in McGonagall too? I am intrigued."

Rabastan cleared his throat and leant forward over the table. "At 10:20 on the eve of the wedding, draw your brother and the half-blood out of the festivities."

"Tell them that Snape loves me, and has only agreed to the wedding as the ultimate hoax," continued his brother.

"They won't believe you, so offer them proof: lead them to the back of this pub where the balcony to Rodolphus' room overhangs the alley."

"I'll make sure that I can be seen from the street buggering Snape, with him declaring his undying love for me."

"That's where Pettigrew comes in, under the guise of Polyjuice."

"He's kinky, we'll have no problems with him. We'll even be able to have him supply the Polyjuice and Snape's hair."

A sadistic smile crept along Regulus' face. "Excellent. And so very Slytherin," he drawled.

"You just accuse Snape, and I'll make sure that 'Snape' and I are seen in a compromising position."

"Excellent, excellent." Regulus grinned evilly.

The Chilling Room door opened, and the three friends quickly polished off their drinks.

"We will talk more about this later," said Regulus, hiding the opened vodka bottle and closing the topic for now.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 13**

The next day, Severus and Arabella were working in the potions lab, waiting for Lily to arrive so that they could be overheard speaking about James' love. Severus had placed a ward on the corridor outside the lab to warn them when Lily was approaching.

"What's the plan again?" asked Arabella, slightly nervous that she was about to deceive poor Lily.

Severus smiled. "When Lily comes down, we must only speak about Potter. When I say his name, you have to praise him more than he actually deserves. And I will tell you that he's madly in love with Lily."

As the Potions apprentice went to add a new ingredient to his cauldron, his wand turned bright orange: Lily was coming.

"Show time," whispered Severus, before speaking quite a bit louder. "Arabella, she finds him insufferable."

Lily stopped outside the potions lab, just before entering. Who were they talking about?

"But are you sure that James is completely in love with Lily?" asked Arabella, her voice slightly too loud.

Severus placed his index finger on his lips to quieten the overexcited squib. "So says Black. And Remus corroborates the fact."

"Did they want you tell her?"

Severus nodded. "They asked me to inform her of his condition, but I persuaded them otherwise. It is a fair assumption that Lily would take offence to Potter's attentions. I advised Black to convince Potter to forget about her."

"Whatever for? Doesn't James deserve the same happiness that you and Remus have?" Arabella scolded.

"Of course he does, woman!" Severus huffed. "But Lily is a lost cause. I am merely trying to save the man from heartbreak. You know very well that Lily does not believe in love."

There was silence as Severus' words sank in. "I suppose you are right. If Lily knew that James loved her, she would mock him."

"Indeed. She has managed to turn down every man who has ever shown an interest in her. He was always too tall, too short, too young, too old, too fat, too thin, too hairy, not hairy enough"

Arabella tittered. "She is too picky."

"I've tried talking to her. But she is set on becoming an old maid. I believe it is best that Potter ignores his feelings for her."

"Perhaps you should tell her that James fancies her," Arabella advised.

"I think not. I would rather spend five hours alone with Potter stating every single one of Lily's flaws, even if he hexes me every three seconds until I succeed in bidding him to fall out of love."

"You wouldn't!" gasped Arabella. "That's terrible, pointing out all her faults. Lily is an intelligent, bright, funny girl. She is very lucky that James' loves her. I'm sure she is the envy of all the witches in Britain."

"And some of the men," added Severus. "Myself excluded."

"He is the handsomest, bravest Auror in Britain."

Severus crinkled his nose. Thinking about Potter as desirable man filled him with disgust. "He is well liked," he conceded.

"He's a damn fine Auror, if I were a few years younger, I think I'd go for him myself," Arabella grinned as Severus rolled his eyes.

"That I did not need to know," Severus responded before adding another ingredient to his cauldron and stirring vigorously.

Lily stood outside the door listening to the exchange. She put her hands on her cheeks as they flushed when Severus explained his reasons for deterring James. Sev really was a sweet boy at heart, and although he was obviously speaking the truth, the truth hurt. Was she really that picky when it came to dates? She supposed she was, she hadn't had dinner with a man who wasn't Severus for almost eight months.

She moved a little down the hallway. Thinking over all that she had overheard, James loved her. James Potter, world-renown womaniser loved _her_, Lily Evans.

_Oh my._

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 14**

Rodolphus walked stealthily into the Chilling Room of the Hog's Head inn where Peter was trying to inconspicuously slice into a block of Bulgarian Sheep's Milk Fetta Cheese. He had, so far, succeeded in hacking into the block, leaving it misshapen and obviously smaller than its original size.

"Pettigrew," whispered Rodolphus into the cheese pilferer's ear.

Peter jumped into the air, stuffing the rest of the cheese into his mouth, and trying to replace the lid back on the bucket of fetta. The bucket fell to the floor, spilling cheese and brine everywhere.

The animagus spun to face LeStrange, his hand over his heart. "Merlin Rodolphus!" he exclaimed. "You scared the living daylights out of me!"

The Slytherin just smirked, and looked down at the spilled cheese. "Stealing from the boss again Peter? Tut, tut, tut." Rodolphus shook his head.

Peter looked down aghast at his precious cheese strewn all over the floor. He pulled out his wand and cleaned up the mess, replacing the muck back into bucket and sealing the lid. "It's still good," he muttered to himself, hiding the bucket behind a vat of ice-cream.

Rodolphus rolled his eyes; there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that the cheese would eventually (sooner rather than later) find its way into Pettigrew's stomach. Not a very pleasant thought, but a true one none-the-less.

"I have something to ask you," he said mysteriously.

Peter looked up, thankful that his lover wasn't going to say anything more about the cheese.

Rodolphus pulled the Gryffindor close, and whispered in his ear, "You know that Snape is getting married on Saturday."

The animagus nodded.

Rodolphus grinned wickedly. "I've always fancied him myself," he continued. "I thought you could perhaps… dress up as him."

Peter pulled away from Rodolphus, the other man's breath was too hot on the side of his face. He looked up in shock. "You want me to dress up as S-S-Snivellus?" he asked.

The Slytherin smiled and nodded. "You have no idea how I have lusted after Severus, sharing a dormitory with him, the showers, the Quidditch change rooms," he said smoothly. "I'll never get a chance to bed him now. Not with him about to marry, and I engaged Bellatrix."

Rodolphus' fingers walked their way up Pettigrew's arm. "I thought that you could Polyjuice into him and we could have a little fun."

Peter smiled. He was very flattered that Rodolphus would pick **him** to impersonate Snivellus. The Slytherin could have easily asked anyone to do this with him. But he had picked him: Peter Pettigrew. "Tonight?" he asked.

Rodolphus shook his head. "I have to go away for a few days," he answered. "Besides we are missing two important things."

The animagus looked at him quizzically.

LeStrange rolled his eyes. "Polyjuice and Snape's hair."

Peter blushed. "Of course, of course. You want me to get those for us?" he asked, nodding his head in agreement.

"That would be wonderful, try and nick some of his clothes too. I'll be back on Friday." With that, he pinched Pettigrew's bottom hard, and sauntered out the door.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Much Ado About Nothing by The Goblet - Chapter 15 

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 15**

"You should go up," urged Severus. He was sitting cross-legged on his bed watching the open doorway of the bathroom where Remus was busy brushing his teeth. Lily had invited them both to watch a Muggle movie in the Gryffindor Common Room. "I'll stay here. I need to add more ingredients to the latest batch of Polyjuice."

"I woul' ra'er stay wi' you," Remus garbled around a toothbrush and a mouth full of toothpaste. He spat into the sink, and rinsed his mouth out. Drying his toothbrush on his shirt, he returned to the bedroom. "I would rather stay here with you," he repeated. "I wouldn't have any fun up in the tower without you."

Severus shot him a small smile. Although he was ecstatic that his fiancé wanted to spend time with him rather than his friends, Snape knew that Black and Potter would not be too happy if Remus started spending too much time with him. Not that they would begrudge either of them time to be together, but Remus had spent the last five nights hidden away in the dungeons, leaving them to their own devices. Not to mention the fact that it was the first night Pettigrew had had off since the ball, and he was planning to sleep over at the castle.

"What if I come up with you for a while?" he said tentatively.

Remus looked at him. "Are you sure? What about your potion?" he asked.

"I will need to leave at about eleven to tend to it. But prior to that, I suppose I could spend the evening in the company of you and your friends… if they will have me."

Remus' delighted smile lit up his face. "They wouldn't dare not have you. Plus, we'll be watching a movie, you won't even have to make conversation with them." He moved over to the bed and kissed Severus sweetly. "Thank you for making an effort."

* * *

Remus poked his head into the Gryffindor Common Room. The room was very bare and empty and with most of the furniture presumably having been been sent away to be cleaned, stuffed and re-upholstered over the summer holidays. Apart from a sporadic portrait, the walls were bare, and the room housed only two couches and two armchairs.

"Hi everyone," Remus called, stepping into the room. James and Peter were sitting on one couch, while Sirius and Lily's cloak occupied the other. Lily was busy trying to get her Muggle video recorder to work. Minerva and Arabella were sitting in an armchair each.

"Moony!" Peter called. He hadn't had much of a chance to catch up with Remus since the ball.

"Hi Peter." Remus smiled, and tugged Severus into the room, from where he had been hiding out of sight. The Slytherin looked around, disdain over the lack of furniture obvious on his face.

Minerva laughed. "It's not like this all the time Severus, young Bill Weasley managed to set the entire room alight while he was studying for his charms examination. Poor thing got the fright of his life when he set fire to a cat."

"Is it alright?"

"The cat? It's fine. It ran about the room, setting fire to everything in sight, but we finally managed to catch it and reverse most of the damage. But we had to send the furniture to be repaired. You should have seen it climb the tapestries."

Lily had been sitting on the floor, playing with the video recorder. She looked up to see Remus and Severus standing beside Arabella. "Oh gosh, you two don't have anywhere to sit," she said, standing up and moving her cloak from the seat next to Sirius. She crossed the room and placed it next to James. "Bunch up Potter," she ordered, squeezing in between him and the armrest.

Sirius grinned to himself as he saw Prongs' pleased smirk that Lily was now sitting next to him.

Remus led Severus to the couch, and sat down next to Sirius. There was no point in trying to make Severus sit next to his friend; he was happy enough that his fiancé had offered to spend the evening here, without forcing him to speak to Sirius.

Severus was uncomfortable. It wasn't the lack of seating: the couch he was sitting on was quite comfortable and not at all crowded. But it was strange to sit in the Gryffindor Common Room, with men with whom he had always fought. He settled slightly into the chair, and tightened his grip on Remus' hand.

Once she was sure everyone was settled, Lily dimmed the lights, and pointed her wand towards the television, starting the beginning credits rolling.

* * *

As the movie progressed, the occupants of the room became enthralled in the storyline. Severus had managed to relax. He had toed off his shoes, and was curled up on the couch, snuggling up to Remus. Remus was sitting with one arm around his lover, while his free hand held Severus'. Both men felt comfortable and at ease.

James, on the other hand, was feeling slightly on edge. What was Lily doing to him? He had not been able to keep his attention on the film. He kept watching her. She kept acting as though she didn't know that he was watching. But he knew. No girl fell in love with a guy, and didn't secretly watch him all the time.

Slowly James stretched, both hands reaching high above his head. As he relaxed again, he laid his arms along the back of the couch. A moment later he had slipped them forward slightly, so as to touch Lily lightly on the back. Unbeknown to him, he was also cuddling Peter.

Lily tried not to jump as James pulled what had to be one of the oldest tricks in the book. She had been aware of him all night. Looking at her. Staring at her. And she would be damned to give into the temptation to look at him. She had made a decision: if he liked her so much, he would just have to come right out and say it.

Peter, however, was not in the least aware of the sexual tension between the two people sitting to his right. The first thing he knew about James' inner turmoil was when he had stretched, and started hugging his shoulder. There was no way that James was making a play for him, was there? He looked over at his friend in horror, and realised that Prongs was watching Lily… hugging Lily. Ahh, the world wasn't going to end. Now if only he could get some cheese.

* * *

"That was delightful," stated Minerva as the last of the credits rolled on the screen, and Lily turned off the television and the video recorder. She looked across the room and saw Severus curled up on the couch facing the television with his head on Remus' lap. Remus was playing with his hair as they sat there together.

"How are the wedding plans coming along?" she asked.

Remus looked towards his former Head of House. "Really well; we picked out our rings today, and got fitted for our robes."

He continued stroking Severus' hair. His fiancé was quiet, his even breathing and lack of movement led Moony to believe that Severus was asleep, no doubt exhausted from planning their wedding and extensive potion brewing.

"The shopkeeper was telling us that there's a new Citizen's Watch," he continued.

Peter nodded. He was still being cuddled by an unaware James. "The Village Council are worried about Death Eater attacks," he told his friends. "They started an action group to patrol the streets at night."

Sirius snorted. "I very much doubt that a Citizen's Watch would be much resistance to a group of Death Eaters."

"Most likely end up being killed," agreed James.

"They'd be able to raise an alarm," insisted Peter. He had signed on as a member of the patrol.

James looked at Severus and Remus sitting on the other couch. "Is he _asleep_?" he asked teasingly, pointing at the sleeping potions apprentice.

"Leave him alone," Remus growled. "We've been busy with the wedding preparations all day, and he was up early to add – oh the potion!"

Lily looked up from where she was decidedly not looking at James. "I'll go down. Let Sev sleep; he sounds as though he needs the rest." She stood up, carefully extracting herself from James' hug and stretched. Shrugging on her cloak, she made her way to the door.

"I'll come with you," James said, scrambling to put on his cloak. Lily rolled her eyes, but did nothing to dissuade James from accompanying her to the dungeons.

The two were climbing out the portrait hole when Peter decided to head down as well. He had taken one look at Severus, sleeping so peacefully in Remus' lap, and had remembered that he needed to acquire a vial of Polyjuice.

"Wait for me," he called out, scuttling up from the couch and running after James and Lily, leaving only the conspirators to the great 'Lily and James' plan in the Common Room.

Arabella grinned. "It seems to be working," she said happily.

Sirius' eyes danced. "I told you so, now didn't I?"

"Well don't count your chickens just yet," warned Minerva, stifling a yawn, "Lily looked about ready to hex James for sitting on top of her."

Remus nodded. "Pity Peter decided to tag along; he'll be cramping James' style for sure."

Sirius snorted. "Yes well, he should have realised that he wouldn't be welcome down there."

The group sat in silence for a moment, before Minerva got to her feet. "It's been a very pleasant evening, but I'm not as young as I used to be, I think I will head to bed."

"Thanks for coming up."

"Ah you young folk, I suppose the night is just beginning for you," said Arabella as she pulled on her cloak.

Remus yawned widely and shook his head. "The only thing I have planned for the rest of the night is sleep. After I get Sev to bed that is."

The two sisters smiled motherly and made their way to the portrait hole, disappearing into the hallway.

Remus sat on the couch beside Sirius, Severus still fast asleep in his lap. "I wonder if I can get him down to his rooms without waking him," he pondered softly, stroking Severus' hair.

Sirius shrugged, "Why don't you stay here tonight? It would be easier than moving him all the way down to the dungeons."

"You don't think the others would mind Severus staying in the dorm?"

"They'd never know, unless, of course things begin to go 'bump in the night'," he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Like I would even feel comfortable having sex with the rest of you in the room."

Sirius chuckled. He stretched before getting up off the couch. "Need some help?" he asked, as he watched Remus contemplate how to move Snape.

"Um, yeah."

The Auror pulled out his wand, and cast a levitating spell on the sleeping Slytherin. Remus scrambled up from the couch and pulled him out of the air, cradling him close.

Sirius raised an eyebrow as he watched his friend carry Snivellus towards their room. "Isn't he heavy?" he asked.

"Not really," came the quiet response. "He doesn't eat much. I'd say he's about as heavy as Lily."

"He is a bit on the scrawny side," admitted Sirius as he opened the door to the dormitory for the two men. Walking across the room, he opened the curtains of Remus' old bed, pulling down the blankets.

Remus laid Severus gently on the bed, holding his breath as his lover stirred slightly in his sleep.

"Out like a light," whispered Sirius.

The werewolf nodded.

"Thanks," he said a few moments later, after watching Severus settle down. "Night," he murmured, as he yawned widely.

Remus pulled the curtains closed around the bed, and moved to the foot of the bed to take off Severus' shoes. He sat down carefully next to his sleeping lover, and began to open the many buttons on his robes. He stripped Severus of his clothes, leaving him in only his underwear and socks. Standing up, Remus quickly undressed himself, and folded both sets of robes over a rail at the bottom of the bed. He then lay down beside his mate, drawing the blankets up to cover them both. Within minutes, he was asleep, curled on his side, one arm flung across Severus chest, and one leg thrown across his lover's legs.

Sirius was disturbed. He watched Remus pull the curtains closed around his bed. He hadn't actually given any thought to the fact that Remus was **sleeping with Snape**. He supposed he had blocked that fact out. Never really thought about the implications that Remus loving and marrying Snape would mean in a basic sense. It felt surreal, having the Slytherin in their dorm, in Remus' bed. The fact that his friend was gay really hit him hard that night as he drew his own curtains and climbed into bed. He lay awake, thinking about Remus loving Severus, and listening to their rhythmic breathing, until he, too, fell asleep.

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Much Ado About Nothing by The Goblet - Chapter 16 

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 16**

Lily led James and Peter through the halls and down to the dungeons. She walked up to the entrance of the potions lab and pronounced the password. The wards unlocked, and Lily swung the door open, holding it for her friends to enter as she stepped into the room.

Walking over to a cupboard, she took off her cloak and hung it on a coat hanger. She then moved to a bench where she pulled a bottle off the overhanging shelf. Pouring a small amount of the potion into her hand, she proceeded to oil down her hair. Once she was satisfied that her hair was thoroughly oiled, she started preparing ingredients to add to the cauldron.

She and Severus had been working closely over the holidays, sharing the responsibilities of brewing potions for the Order. She knew exactly which cauldron needed attention, and exactly which ingredients to add and in what order, all without consulting a text.

As Lily was shredding a small mountain of boomslang skin, the boys were exploring the room. Peter was poking around the crates of potions lined against one wall. There was everything from Sleeping Draught, to Pepper-Up Potion, to Polyjuice.

James' curiosity was piqued by the two other doors which led from the room. He strolled over to one and opened it. Poking his head inside, he realised that it was an ingredients storeroom. Closing the cupboard he moved to the door Lily had opened earlier. He opened it to find that it contained four sets of black robes.

James pulled out a hanger, and held the robes up to his body. They were Lily's robes and much too short for him.

James strutted about the room, the coat hanger to his throat, dancing somewhat. "Hey Wormtail, don't you think I look beautiful," he asked, trying to imitate Lily.

"Put that down," snapped Lily as she looked up from her work. "Honestly, Potter," she muttered.

James' face changed to a hurt puppy-dog expression. He returned the robes to the cupboard. "Why do you keep them here?" he asked.

"In case there's an accident."

"What type of accident?"

Lily put down her knife and carried her chopping board to the cauldron, "One which burns your clothes off."

"I suppose this is standard practise?"

"Well I would rather not have to walk back to my room wearing nothing but my underwear," replied Lily, who was getting rather irritated by all of James' questions. She put him out of her mind as she slowly began to add the boomslang skin to the potion, concentrating on stirring the mixture and adding more of the ingredient at just the right moments.

While Lily was pre-occupied with the potion, James walked over to Peter. "Think you could… ah… leave us to it?" he whispered inaudibly.

Peter shook his head, a perplexed expression on his face. He hadn't heard a word Prongs had said.

James leant forward. "I'd like to be **alone** with **Lily**," he said softly into the animagus' ear. "Alone."

Peter looked up into his friend's eyes, and saw a faint twinkle in them. He nodded his understanding. "Lily, I'm feeling a bit peckish, I thought I'd go down to the kitchens and get some cheese, can I get you anything?"

Lily shook her head; she was still trying to concentrate on the potion.

"Go," hissed James, shoving Peter out into the corridor.

He turned and walked up to Lily as she stirred the cauldron. Looking over her shoulder, James inspected the potion. And then turned his attention to the girl stirring it. He picked up a strand of her hair, and held it between his fingers.

"Kind of greasy, isn't it?"

Lily batted his hand away. "To stop any falling into the cauldron. The potion would be useless if my hair was to contaminate it."

"Wouldn't want any surprise ingredients."

"No, we wouldn't."

"At least you wash it out," James commented, referring to Snape's greasy hair.

Lily whirled around from the cauldron. Using her stirring rod, she poked James in the chest. "There," poke, "is," poke, "no," poke, "point," poke, "in," poke, "washing," poke, "it," poke, "out," poke, "every," poke, "ten," poke, "minutes," poke. "Don't you **dare**, say anything about Severus being greasy," poke, poke, poke.

"Alright, alright, alright, I'll never mention it again," James said, holding his hands up in surrender. He looked at Lily as she lowered the stirring rod, totally in awe of her passion, the very same passion which had irritated him a week ago: funny how a trait which annoyed him not long ago, delighted and thrilled him now.

Slowly, as one would treat a startled animal, James lifted his hands, and gently grasped Lily's upper arms. He waited for a moment, looking deep into her green eyes, before bending down and softly brushing his lips over hers. He then stepped back, allowing Lily her own space, and hopefully the chance to reciprocate.

But it was not to be. Lily stepped away, almost backing into the cauldron in her flustered state. She turned and steadied the potion atop the fire, and stirred it vigorously, in an attempt to busy herself, and keep James at bay. She could feel a blush creeping along her cheeks, reddening her neck and ears as she stirred.

James smiled. Perhaps he shouldn't have tried to kiss her, it was too soon. He couldn't just go around kissing people anyway, no matter if they were in love with him or not. At least she hadn't poked him with the stirring rod again.

He moved away from Lily, and waited with his back against the wall. He was certain that she loved him. She hadn't pulled away from their kiss. She had stiffened slightly, but that was to be expected if you weren't expecting to be kissed. She hadn't slapped him, or stamped on his foot, or kneed him in the groin: all typical Lily reactions. All in all it was very obvious that she **did** love him!

As James watched Lily clean the utensils she had used, he came to a decision. He was in love with Lily Evans. He had been in love with Lily since their fifth year. If only he had seen past her wit back then, if only he hadn't been scared of her forceful personality. He would make things right. He would woo her, love her, and protect her. He would make her his, and he would be hers.

In the meantime Lily was growing more and more disconcerted by James' attention. Even after he had backed off, she felt his eyes following her about the room: an almost predatory gleam in them. As she tidied up, she realised that, although he was still watching her, he seemed lost in his own thoughts.

Once she was finished, Lily walked back to the cupboard and retrieved her cloak. "Coming?" she asked, nudging James out of his stupor.

Warding the room once again, Lily closed the door, and the two Gryffindors returned to their former dormitory.

"Good night," James whispered softly as they stood together on the landing where they would part ways.

Lily nodded. She was still in shock after being kissed. "Night," she said, turning to climb the stairs into her own dormitory.

James chuckled to himself as he watched her go; it was very obvious that she was in love with him.

As James ascended to his own dormitory, Lily stopped to observe him disappear into the room he shared with his friends. Her mind was still racing after their kiss. She thought back to the conversation she had overheard earlier that week between Severus and Arabella. Perhaps she should give James a chance after all…

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Much Ado About Nothing by The Goblet - Chapter 17 

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 17**

Severus slowly began to wake. He could feel a heavy weight smothering him, pressing him down into a mattress which was far softer than the one he was accustomed to.

Opening his eyes, he saw that he was lying pinned underneath his fiancé, who was somehow managing to sleep sprawled on top of him.

The werewolf stirred slightly, moving to a more comfortable spot atop his make-shift bed, snuggling closer to his lover, burying his head in the crook of Severus' neck. The movement made Severus aware of his morning erection, as Remus brushed against it.

As he awoke further, Severus took note of his surroundings. Not only was the bed softer than usual, but also narrower. Sunlight, a phenomenon unseen in his own rooms, was breaking through thin, red curtains, casting a stream of light across the bed.

Due to the friction against his arousal, Severus deduced that he was still wearing underwear; which he counted as a blessing, being as he could not remember retiring the previous evening. Not recalling going to bed was one thing, not remembering sex was quite another.

Shifting slightly, Severus pulled aside the curtain and peered out into the room. He spied two other beds, both with red drawn curtains. No movement came from these beds, or the beds that he presumed were also in the room but could not see from his vantage point.

He didn't have to be a Potions Master to come to the conclusion that he was still in Gryffindor Tower.

"Morning, beautiful," murmured Remus sleepily, yet in a voice so sexy that he could have aroused a month old corpse. He lifted himself onto one elbow and kissed Severus lustfully.

"Morning," came the hoarse reply.

"Sleep well?" again Remus' voice did nothing to dissuade Severus' erection.

The Slytherin nodded.

Remus shuffled around slightly, exciting himself and Severus in their post-sleepy bliss.

"Don't even think about it," warned Severus, stilling his lover.

Remus gave him a troubled look.

"I am **not** making love with you while your friends are in the room," he hissed.

The werewolf had forgotten that they hadn't returned to Severus' rooms the previous night. All he had thought about since waking was being with Severus, being safe in Severus arms. He looked up and took stock of the red curtains of the four poster bed.

"Aw," Remus whispered, pouting and looking at Severus with his best puppy-dog eyes. He, himself, didn't want his friends listening to him having sex, but teasing Severus a little was too much fun to pass up.

"Absolutely not, Lupin."

"But we've never done it here before."

"And we won't be doing it now."

"Later?"

Silence.

"Please?"

"Only if they are all out."

"Promise?"

"Will you stop badgering me?"

Remus nodded, and dipped down to lightly bite Severus' collarbone.

"Fine then." The words were ground out as the Gryffindor started to get carried away. "Lupin!"

Remus raised his head. "Shower?" he asked.

Severus thought for a moment before nodding. "Up," he whispered, grinning wickedly.

Slowly, Remus extracted himself from Severus' embrace. He stood next to the bed, and retrieved the clothes that were hanging on the bedstead before bending down and picking up the shoes sitting on the floor.

His fiancé sat up in the bed, and stretched, before nabbing his robes from the werewolf's grasp. Hastily throwing on his robes to hide his near-naked body, Severus stood and planted a light kiss on Remus' lips.

"Lead on then," he said quietly, taking his shoes from his lover.

Smiling, Remus took Severus' hand, and with his robes held in front of him to hide a very embarrassing bulge, pushed past his curtains and led his lover out of the dormitory.

* * *

Peter waited a few minutes before slowly poking his head out of his own curtains. He had woken very early that morning and had been listening to Remus and Severus' conversation. He was eternally grateful that they had restrained themselves and not shagged in the dormitory.

Seeing no one else up, and hearing no movement from Sirius or James' beds, Peter silently climbed out of bed and crept across the room to Remus' four-poster.

Shuffling quickly behind the curtains, Peter glanced down at the bed and spied several of Snape's hairs on the pillow. He plucked the hairs from the linen, and returned to his own bed, opening his overnight bag and storing the hairs in an envelope for safe-keeping.

* * *

In the bathroom, Severus and Remus had squeezed themselves into a tiny cubicle. Their clothes were bunched up on a small bench, where, no matter which direction the showerhead was turned, always seemed to get wet.

Both men were hovering under the shower, the water warm streaming over them. Remus reached for the shampoo and poured a little into his palm. Raising his arms, he lathered the shampoo and began washing his fiancé's hair.

Severus, loving the feeling of his lover's hands massaging his scalp, moaned softly and closed his eyes, as he enjoyed the werewolf's ministrations.

Remus worked the lather into Severus' hair, cleaning down to the ends, before rinsing the suds away. He watched Severus' face as the Slytherin relaxed under the shower.

Leaning forward, Remus kissed Severus softly, letting his hands drop from his scalp, as Severus began to respond, to cup his face. As the kiss became more demanding, one hand went to cradle his lover's head, while the other one travelled down the Slytherin's body to take a firm grip of his arousal.

Severus moaned quietly as he felt his lover's hand on his cock. His hips bucked forward slightly and he gathered his fiancé into his arms.

After several moments, Severus' hand slid down the werewolf's body and took a firm grasp of Remus' erection.

The two lovers stood under the shower spray, kissing passionately, and stroking each other. Severus was the first to orgasm, his pearly-white seed washing away with the shower water. Remus came a few moments later.

Sated, for now at least, the betrothed quickly finished showering and, after casting a drying charm over their clothes, dressed. Severus was quite thankful that Remus' friends hadn't needed to use the bathroom while it was otherwise engaged.

Leaving the bathroom, the two decided to wait for the other Gryffindors in the Common Room before going to breakfast. Severus felt awkward about returning to the dormitory, and Remus didn't want to head to the Great Hall without his friends.

"Have you decided whom you will ask to be your best man?" asked Severus once they were settled on a couch.

Remus nodded. "I thought I would ask Sirius, is that alright with you?"

Severus agreed; he had expected that Remus would ask one of the Marauders.

"Have you decided?"

"I thought perhaps Minerva."

"Minerva?"

Severus nodded once more.

"Yeah, she'd be great. Have you asked her yet?"

"I thought I would ask her after breakfast. Have you asked Black?"

Remus shook his head. "I'll ask him today though; when we have a moment alone."

Severus nodded, and stared at the couch. He could see that it hadn't survived unscathed from the fiery cat.

"What's wrong, Sev?" It was obvious to Remus that something was bothering his lover.

"I was just thinking about the ceremony."

"Nervous?"

"A little…"

"What about?"

The Slytherin was silent for a moment. "We've never kissed…" he said quietly.

Remus was slightly confused. _They'd never kissed?_ That didn't make sense. They kissed all the time. Why they had just finished kissing in the shower earlier.

In the shower.

Alone.

No witnesses.

Then he understood: Severus was worried about kissing in front of his friends. They had never kissed in **public** before, well except for that tiny little peck at the Mid-Summer ball.

The sound of heavy footsteps broke Remus' train of thought.

"Hey, Moony, I was just telling Padfoot and Prongs that Aberforth said that you should have your Freedom Night at the Hog's Head," Peter called out as he descended the stairs.

"Well, actually, he said that you'd better have your Freedom Night at the Hog's Head, under penalty of near-death if you don't. Or something like that."

"What do you think, Moony?" asked James. "I think it'd be smashing!"

Remus blushed. "I don't really need to have one. I'm marrying Severus, not losing my freedom," he said.

Severus smiled, "I'm happy you feel that way, but you ought to celebrate the beginning of your marital life. I think you should do something with your friends," he replied.

"But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You have no one to celebrate with."

"I assure you, I have my evening planned. You should have fun with these three idiots," Snape mock-glared at the Marauders. "I want him back in one piece, mind-you." he threatened only half-jokingly.

Sirius held his hands up in mock surrender. "I promise you, Snape, we won't hurt him." _And don't **you** dare hurt him either._

Remus watched as his fiancé first insulted his friends then made it clear that he wasn't being cruel. Severus had come a long way since their years at Hogwarts when he and James would try to hex each other into next week.

He put his hand on Severus' leg, his fingers curling, touching his inner thigh.

"Sev?"

Severus turned to look at him.

Leaning forward, and aware that his friends were watching him, Remus kissed his fiancé passionately.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 18**

After breakfast that morning the Marauders returned to the Gryffindor Common room to plan Remus' Freedom Night.

They were sitting around the coffee table trying to convince Remus that he would, in fact, die a painfully horrible death and lead an unfulfilled life if he did not have a stripper at his party, when Lily walked out of her dormitory carrying her travelling cloak.

"Just because the rest of you want to ogle some poor witch's breasts, does not mean that Remus does," she admonished as she pulled on her cloak.

"I'm sure he'd rather watch a nice, muscular wizard disrobe for him," she added, winking at the werewolf.

Sirius, James and Peter managed to look both disgusted and ashamed of themselves at the same time. They had, of course, forgotten that it was **Remus'** night, and not just an excuse to get blindingly drunk.

"Heading out?" asked James.

Lily nodded. "We're running low on Knotgrass and Lacewing Flies."

"Couldn't you just get them owled to you?"

"No, the Apothecaries tend to send student grade ingredients if you order by owl. I need to make sure that we get high quality supplies."

"Then let me accompany you. It's not safe to be wandering the streets of Hogsmeade by yourself."

Lily was bewildered. Here was the man who had fought with her for so many years, the man who had kissed her the night before, actually **being polite**, and offering to escort her to town. Not that she needed an escort, especially not an ostentatious Auror.

But then the Apothecary wasn't the safest of places. Nor was it in the most reputable area. Plus she could spend some time alone with James.

Eventually she nodded.

"Great! I'll just get my things," James said grinning. He stood up and raced into his dormitory to retrieve his cloak and wallet.

"I guess that puts an end to our plans for now," Remus stated with a smile. He hadn't been very keen on some of the activities his friends had planned for him.

Peter got to his feet. "Well, I might head off now anyway. I have a few errands to run before my lunchtime shift. We can finish this later." The chubby Gryffindor grinned and set off to climb the stairs and retrieve his overnight bag.

When James and Peter returned to the Common Room, the Gryffindor Alumni said their goodbyes, and Sirius and Remus watched as their three friends disappeared out of the Common Room.

"Padfoot, can I ask you something?" asked Remus once the Fat Lady's portrait had closed.

"You just did," replied Sirius, smirking.

"Seriously, Sirius."

"Of course, go ahead."

Remus paused, before continuing, "Will you stand up with me at the ceremony?"

"You want me to be your best man?" asked Sirius incredulously.

Moony nodded. "Well, it had to be one of you three, and you, well, helped me win Sev back. It was pretty obvious that it should be you. So will you? Be my best man?"

A huge smile spread across Sirius face. "Of course I will, Moony. Of course I will!

"You know, of course, that this means I get to plan your Freedom Night. Right?" he added with a sly grin.

Remus groaned. "I heard what happened at Frank's Freedom Night. Don't even **think** about stripping me naked, waxing all my hair, dyeing my skin blue and leaving me chained up to Aberforth's goat."

"Aw, but you'll look so pretty," pouted Sirius.

"NO!"

* * *

While Remus was busying dissuading his friends from doing anything too rambunctious to celebrate his marriage, Severus was safely situated in an armchair in Minerva's office, tea and biscuit in hand.

"These biscuits aren't nearly as nice as the ones you baked for me at Christmas," Minerva commented as she nibbled on a cookie. "Actually, I must say I haven't tasted a biscuit as nice as those in many a year." She took another bite, and grimaced at the taste.

"You want the recipe, don't you?"

Minerva's eyes twinkled. "Any chance at all that you may be willing to share it with me?" she asked pleadingly.

Severus grumbled, and pulled a spare piece of parchment off a pile on the Deputy Headmistress' desk. He put down his teacup and picked up a quill.

As he finished writing down the recipe, he looked up. "The secret is to harvest the cinnamon on the eve of the full moon, in the nude," he said, keeping a straight face.

"Excuse me?"

"The cinnamon; you must harvest it naked on the eve of the full moon."

Minerva took the parchment from her ex-student and scanned the recipe. There was no cinnamon. "Ha-ha, very funny, Severus," she replied.

"I almost had you," he mumbled.

Severus picked up his teacup and took a sip.

He placed the teacup back on its saucer.

He sat back in his chair.

He looked down at his hands then, back up at Minerva.

He sat forward, and moved the cup so that the pattern lined up with the saucer.

He sat back again.

He crossed his legs.

He uncrossed his legs.

Finally, all of Severus' fidgeting got to Minerva. "Not that I don't enjoy your company, Severus, but I very much doubt that you came up here to share biscuit recipes with me."

Severus nodded, and looked up from where he was examining his fingernails. "Will you stand up with me at the ceremony?" he asked softly.

Minerva stared at the young man sitting opposite her. Of all the things she expected Severus to say, asking her to stand up with him when he married certainly wasn't on the list.

"I'm flattered Severus, but are you sure that there is no-one else you would rather ask?"

"Don't you think that I would have asked **them**, instead of _you_?"

Minerva chuckled: typical Severus. "Of course you would. I would be honoured to stand up with you at your wedding."

* * *

When Peter heard that Lily was going into Hogsmeade to buy some potion supplies, he decided that it was the perfect time to try and obtain a vial of Polyjuice and a set of Snape's robes.

He assumed that Snivellus wouldn't be in the potions lab if they were running low on ingredients. But, even if he was, Peter could always feign that he was searching for Lily.

Making his way down to the potions lab, Pettigrew knocked on the door and waited. After several moments, he knocked again, slightly louder. When he heard no response, and satisfied that Snape was not working in the lab, Peter stated the password, and let himself in.

Stepping into the lab, the Marauder put down his bag and headed straight for the cupboard which housed Lily and Snape's spare robes.

Opening the wardrobe, he pulled out one of Snape's long, black robes, complete with tiny buttons down the front.

Not wanting to be caught in the lab with Snivellus' robes in his hand, Peter hurried over to the crates he had been examining the previous night. He located a vial of Polyjuice, and slipped it into his pocket.

Setting his overnight bag down on one of the benches, Peter unzipped it, and hastily tried to stuff Snape's robes inside.

The robes refused to be crammed into such a small space, and unwrinkled itself to lie flat upon the bench.

"Bloody typical," whispered Peter to himself, "Of course he would magically iron his robes."

Peter took two deep breaths, and studied the robes. Carefully, he began to fold them, making sure that he creased the fabric only at the seams before rolling them up delicately and placing them in his bag.

He pulled the Polyjuice vial from his pocket and dropped it in on top of the robes.

Pettigrew zipped the bag closed, and made for the door. He took one last glance around the lab to make sure that nothing looked disturbed and almost had a heart attack when he realised that he'd left the wardrobe door wide open.

Berating himself for his stupidity, Peter crossed the room and shut the cupboard.

One last look at the room confirmed that everything seemed in its place.

Stepping out of the lab, Peter closed the door behind him, hoisted his bag over his shoulder, and headed for Hogsmeade.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 19**

Remus dashed through Severus' chambers looking for his favourite pair of black shoes. He had been wearing them the night of the Mid-Summer Ball, but hadn't seen them since. Crouching down, he peered under the couch and spotted them lying haphazardly just out of reach. Getting to his knees, Remus stretched out, fumbling to retrieve his shoes.

A wolf-whistle made him jump a moment later, when he was smacked playfully on the bottom.

"Now that's a sight I could come home to every night," purred Severus as Remus got to his feet.

Remus blushed and wrapped his arms around his fiancé, kissing him lightly on the lips. "That's a sight that I would like you to come home to every night," he replied. Remus held up his shoes. "I was looking for these."

"Packing already?"

The werewolf nodded. It was customary for the betrothed not to see each other for at least twenty-four hours before the ceremony, so he and Severus had decided that he would spend the next two nights with his friends in the Gryffindor dorm.

"Seriously Severus, I hate the thought of you staying in Wilkes' Manor."

Severus held Remus close. "So do I," he murmured. "But there's no other way. And I'm learning from a true Master."

"I just hate it that we don't see each other for months at a time," Remus replied, burrowing into Severus' arms.

"Actually, no. That's not true. I hate it that you are spying. I hate you learning the Dark Arts. I hate you learning more about poisons than about medicines. I hate you having to sleep under that… that… **murderer's** roof. I hate that you aren't safe. I hate that I can't ask you to stop. I hate that you can't stop."

Severus listened patiently at his lover's tirade. Gently, he tilted Remus' head, so that he was looking him in the eye. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you more than life itself." He kissed him gently.

"I would do **anything** to make sure that you are safe. The Order needs someone on the inside: someone to gather information. Lily can't do it – she's Muggle born. And even if she wasn't, I couldn't ask her to do it. It **has** to be me.

"I know you understand that. But please know that I don't enjoy it. There's not a morning that goes past that I don't wish that I was studying alongside you at Ivory; that I wasn't waking up beside **you** every morning."

Severus kissed Remus once more. "The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I am making a difference. And that difference will someday lead to the end of this war. And we can finally get on with our lives together."

Severus looked at Remus. Tears were running down his face. "Don't cry, love," whispered Severus, kissing away his tears. "I love you. I will always love you. I will always be faithful to you. You will never lose me. Do you understand?"

Remus nodded vigorously, "I couldn't bear to lose you. You are my life. I love you with all that I am. I cannot wait to marry you."

* * *

After several minutes standing there, holding each other, Remus finally pulled out of Severus' embrace.

"How did things go with Minerva? Did she agree to stand up for you?" he asked as he picked up his shoes and returned to the bedroom to resume packing.

"She did," Severus answered, following Remus into the bedroom. "Did Black?"

Remus nodded.

"Good," replied Severus, dropping Remus' toothbrush into his bag, and capturing his lips. "I'm going to miss you," he whispered, holding him close.

"Me too, but it's only for a day and a half," Remus leant in for another kiss.

"The next time I see you will be at our wedding."

"I know." Remus beamed. "It's almost surreal." Remus scanned the room, looking for anything he may need in the next two days.

"Take this," Severus said handing him a potion bottle. "It's a calming and sobering potion," he explained. "It will help to calm any frayed nerves, and works well against drunkenness and hang-overs."

"Thanks, Sev."

"It's the least I could do. Although… maybe I should get you another bottle for Black…"

Remus lunged forward and grabbed a pillow.

**Thwack!**

* * *

Once the two men finished packing (and their pillow fight), Severus escorted Remus to Gryffindor Tower. Walking through the common room and up to the dormitory, Severus set Remus' bag down next to the bed he had woken up in that morning.

"Looks deserted," he said, looking around the dorm. The Common Room had been empty too.

"Peter's gone to work. James and Lily went to buy some potions ingredients, and Sirius disappeared off to do 'best man' duties."

"He's looking for a stripper isn't he?"

Remus burst out laughing. "No, there will be no stripper. I think he went to get fitted for his robes. He said he'd pick up our rings."

"Let me guess… he's been dying for an excuse to speak to the Jeweller."

"Well, she is rather pretty."

"Some things never change."

Remus laughed.

"You realise what this means, doesn't it?"

"We're alone."

Severus nodded, "Completely alone."

Remus smiled, and made his way back into Severus' arms. "I'm going to miss you so much," he told him before kissing him softly.

"And I you," Severus replied, returning his kiss. "We should go down for lunch. Albus is arriving today," he whispered.

"We still have some time," answered Remus, pulling out his wand. He waved it in the direction of the door and it slammed shut, locking and warding itself.

"Locking me in, are you?" chuckled Severus.

"Have you already forgotten your promise this morning?" purred Remus as he wrapped his arms around his lover. "That we would make love in here when nobody is around?" He kissed his lover sensually, leaving them both breathless.

"We are certainly alone," Severus stated, diving in for another kiss.

"Mmmm." Remus was busily suckling at Severus ear lobe and trying to pull off his robes at the same time. He pulled away slightly. "This was much easier last night."

"Allow me to help you then," Severus said, stepping away from Remus. He walked over to the bed, and lay down. "I suppose I was still fully dressed when you moved me up here?" he asked.

Remus nodded, moving to the bed. "You were asleep; Sirius drew back the curtains and the blankets, while I carried you.

"When he left, I pulled the curtains." Remus closed the curtains. "And then I took off your robes and your shoes." Remus leant down and began to undress his fiancé. Severus had closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep.

"Then I took off my clothes, and got into bed." Remus pulled off his robes, and hung both sets over the rail at the end of the bed. He got onto the bed, and pulled up the blankets to cover them both.

Remus snuggled into Severus again, throwing an arm and leg over his lover as he had done the previous night.

They lay there for quite a while: holding each other; listening to each other's breathing; simply being together.

"This wasn't where you were lying this morning," whispered Severus, running his hand up and down Remus' arm.

Remus shifted, moving so that he was lying atop of Severus, his head buried in Severus' neck, his erection pressed gloriously into Severus' thigh.

"Morning, beautiful," he whispered, echoing his words of that morning. He leaned up and kissed Severus again.

"I love you," whispered Severus, tangling his hands in Remus' hair, before pulling his head down for another kiss.

Remus whimpered as one of Severus' hands made its way down his body to hold his waist. The hand moving to the small of his back to push him close as Severus' hips danced into his.

He stretched to open the drawer of the bedside table.

"There's no lubricant," whispered Severus in between kisses.

"We'll use a charm."

"Absolutely not, the last time we used that, you filled me with vanilla custard."

"Mmmm, yummy."

"I think not," countered Severus.

"But I'm good at licking," Remus replied, pouting slighting.

With a small grin, he returned to kissing his lover before pulling away to look into Severus' eyes. "We used a charm last week, in the storeroom," he said.

"And I even managed to fill you with lube, not custard," Remus grinned, reaching for his wand.

"NO!" screamed Severus half sitting up in the bed, grabbing hold of his lover.

Remus stopped in mid stretch. He had never seen Severus so panicked. He gathered his fiancé in his arms. "What's wrong, love?" he asked softly, his heart beating in his chest.

"No charms," whispered Severus. He had gone pale, as all the blood drained from his face. His arousal had diminished too, leaving him flaccid.

"No charms?" asked Remus tenderly, "You were fine with one a few days ago."

"I wasn't," confessed Severus quietly, "I was… uncomfortable. Please no charms."

Remus was terrified. Why was Severus so unhinged? Had he done something? Had his possessiveness in the storeroom scarred his lover for life?

"Tell me why, love," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. He rolled onto his side, pulling Severus with him, so that they were lying facing each other. Remus kissed him softly. "Help me understand."

Severus allowed himself to relax into Remus' embrace for a few moments. He could feel that his fiancé didn't understand why he was acting as he was. Why he was so frightened of a simple lubrication charm. He knew that Remus would need to hear what had happened to him…

"About six months ago," he began, whispering, "I was walking back from the local village with some potion supplies.

"I had gone ahead while Wilkes was paying the bill. Lily was at the manor, watching over a healing potion we were working on for St Mungo's.

"It was about two weeks after you had gone back to Ivory," Severus continued as he felt Remus' arms tighten around him. He buried his head in Remus shoulder before continuing.

"It was growing dark and I was walking with two armloads of supplies, when I felt something slippery _down there_," he whispered. "Someone had cast a lubrication charm on me.

"The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by five men. They each had hoods on, covering their faces. And they all had their wands trained on me."

"Oh Merlin," mumbled Remus, snuggling in closer to Severus. He knew exactly what the men had planned for his lover and he was horrified.

"They ordered me to put down my bags, and lie face down on the ground," Severus mumbled into Remus' neck.

"I had just lain down, and they were closing in on me when Wilkes appeared - he sent them packing."

Severus looked up into Remus' eyes. "I've learnt all I can about defending myself. Armed or bare handed. Wilkes helped. Lily did too. I meant it when I said that I know how to defend myself. Now. I'm never going to be caught in that situation again.

"B-but lubrication charms scare me," he finished in a whisper.

Remus was sickened. "I took you in the storeroom…" he murmured, upset at himself for hurting Severus.

Severus put his fingers to Remus' lips, "It wasn't the same," he whispered. "You would have stopped if I had asked. You stopped **now** when I asked. I'm not angry at you. I'm not scared of you."

"I used a charm…"

"You didn't know. I don't blame you." Severus was quiet for several moments. "But I don't want to use a charm again: not for a while at least," he declared.

"Of course," replied Remus, kissing Severus on the forehead. He held the man he loved in his arms, thankful that he was safe, grateful that he had not been forcibly raped.

"Were they Death Eaters?" he asked quietly.

Severus shook his head.

"Are you sure?" asked Remus, "You said they were hooded."

"They were renegades," Severus whispered. "They were out to capture Slytherins. I suppose they thought that all Slytherins support the Dark Lord.

"They called me a Slytherin Slut," he added a few moments later. "Severus Snape the Slytherin Slut."

Remus felt his wolf rise to the surface in anger. "I'll kill them," he ground out, his grip on Severus hardening.

"You're too late," whispered Severus. "They all died with a week of each other; from natural causes, or so it would seem."

Remus' grip on Severus tightened into a painful vice.

"Wilkes," Severus added, "or so I suspect."

Severus leaned up and kissed his fiancé. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," he said softly. "I couldn't bear to tell you in a letter."

Remus still didn't release his hold on Severus, nor did he respond to his kiss.

"Remus?" Severus asked. "Remus you're hurting me," he pleaded as Remus' grip continued to tighten.

The werewolf blinked, and looked down at Severus, releasing his grip instantaneously. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, rubbing the red welts he had left on Severus' skin. "You aren't safe anywhere, are you?" he asked wretchedly.

"I'm safe with you," replied Severus, leaning up to kiss him. "I'm always safe in your arms."

Remus kissed Severus softly. "So, no charms then?" he asked softly.

Severus shook his head. It felt much better now that he had gotten that off his chest. He leant into Remus' chest and kissed him again. "Not just yet," he said quietly.

Remus was beginning to grow aroused again. The adrenaline surge he had felt after Severus' story, combined with Severus' heady kisses, was doing wonders for his libido. "Have anything against using a charm on me?" he asked in between kisses.

"I don't think so," replied Severus, slipping his hand into his lover's boxers, and fondling his erection.

"Then will you make love to me?" asked Remus, pulling off his underwear, and kicking them aside.

"That'd be nice."

Remus pulled away from Severus. He hooked two fingers into the other mans' pants and pulled them down, before retrieving his wand. He cast a lubrication charm on himself, before storing his wand in one of his boots and returning to Severus' side.

"I love you," he whispered, kissing Severus and rolling them both so that Severus was lying sprawled above him.

Severus shifted so that he was arranged more elegantly between Remus' thighs. "I love you too," he replied, capturing Remus' lips again.

Remus broke away from the kiss, and spread his legs wide. "I need you in me now," he said pleadingly. "I want to you to make love to me."

Severus smiled and positioned himself at his lover's entrance. The lubrication charm had loosened Remus' muscles and he was able to slide in without hurting his fiancé.

"You complete me," he told Remus once he was fully buried. "I am yours and yours alone," he continued, before kissing the werewolf passionately.

"Just as I am yours and yours alone," repeated Remus. "You are my life."

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	21. Chapter Twenty

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 20**

"Can I borrow some cologne?" asked Sirius as he walked into the dormitory wearing nothing but a towel.

Remus, who was hanging half out the window, trying to air the room, looked incredulously at his friend. "Go hug James," he said, before disappearing back out the window.

Sirius took a few more steps into the room before he was overcome by the fumes of James' aftershave.

"Prongs, did you **bathe** in it?" he asked. "You smell like a perfumery."

"Tell me about it," moaned Remus as he took a deep breath of fresh air.

Sirius looked over to see Remus looking very pale and green about the gills. "James, go and wash that off **now**," he ordered, rushing to the werewolf's side.

He reached Remus, just as he was beginning to swoon from the strength of James' cologne. Sirius glanced back at James who had yet to move from his bed.

"Potter! **Move!** You've made Moony sick."

James finally looked up from a parchment he was writing on. He saw Sirius supporting Remus as he leant out the window. He jumped up from the bed.

"I'm sorry!" he pleaded as he took a step towards his friends. "I forgot that it makes you sick."

"Just **go**," growled Sirius, as Remus began retching. "Wash it off!"

James rushed from the room, mortified that he had forgotten that Remus didn't react well with strong perfumes.

Sirius remained, rubbing Remus' back, and casting a freshening charm over the dormitory. He had become an expert on the charm when Peter started getting bad gas from eating too much cheese.

"You'll be fine," he reassured his friend as Remus continued to gag. "Come inside and lie down until you feel less woozy," he said gently, pulling Remus away from the window and leading him to his bed.

He helped Remus to lie down, and leaned down, brushing the hair away from the werewolf's eyes. "Better?" he asked.

Remus nodded gently.

Sirius sat on the side of the bed. "What brought that on, do you think?" he asked, nodding towards the bathroom. James was usually quite sparse with cologne, especially after living with a werewolf for seven years.

Remus' eyes twinkled, even though he was still ghostly pale. "Lily," he said softly.

"Of course," replied Sirius, a grin plastered on his face. "Looks like our plan is working, dear Moony."

"He was writing something on his bed," Remus recalled. "I bet you a galleon that it is something about Lily. Or something **to** Lily."

Sirius grinned and got to his feet. "Let's just see shall we?" he whispered, turning to face Remus. "Keep an eye out for him."

As Sirius was talking to his friend, the towel which he had secured around his waist began to slip. He grabbed at it to stop it from falling, but was too late as it pooled around his ankles.

Remus blushed as he found himself eye to crotch with his best man.

"Sorry," mumbled Sirius as he stooped to retrieve his towel, his face the colour of a tomato.

A cologne-free James ambled into the room as he returned from the showers. "How does he compare with Snape?" he asked smirking.

Sirius secured his towel once more as Remus' blush deepened. "That's for me to know, and you to forget about," the werewolf said softly, closing his eyes.

"Later," whispered Sirius to Remus, abandoning his quest to discover what James had been writing. He returned to his bed, digging around in his trunk for something suitable to wear.

"I'm sorry Moony," James said, sitting on Remus' bed as he waited for Sirius to dress. "I didn't realise that it was making you sick. I'd have washed it all off earlier, honest!"

"It's ok," whispered Remus. "I'll be fine."

"No it's not," James grumbled. "The one night we finally got you away from Snivellus and I almost end up killing you. Yes, I can see me telling him now: 'Er – Sorry Sniv, he was poisoned. By who – er – me… well I didn't mean to! Look here, it says 'Death by Cologne' on his death certificate – yeah poisoned through the nose.'"

"Please don't call him Snivellus, his name is Severus," Remus said quietly.

"Sorry Moony," James apologised. He wasn't quite sure that Snape would enjoy being called by his first name.

Sirius returned to Remus' bedside. "Ready to go?" he asked. "We're meeting Peter at seven."

James stood from the bed, and held a hand out to Remus.

The cry of "FREEEDDDOOOMMM!" was heard as the groom got to his feet.

Remus' Freedom Night had begun.

* * *

Sirius and James entered the Hog's Head inn amongst gales of laughter. They stopped just inside the entrance surveying the crowded rooms, while waiting for Remus to catch up to them.

It was another five minutes before the groom finally trudged into the pub. His right foot was clamped to a ball and chain. The heavy cannonball was emblazoned with Severus' initials and a rather good sketching of his face, even though the nose was slightly too large.

Remus wasn't too pleased that his friends were referring to his upcoming marriage as a prison sentence, but they had charmed the shackle so that he could not unfasten it and he was left wearing it until Sirius deemed its removal. Remus knew that his right ankle was going to be dreadfully bruised come morning from dragging the cannonball around.

"Hello boys!" called Aberforth as he spotted the trio. "Peter will be down soon, he's just gone upstairs to take a shower."

The three men made their way to the bar and greeted the Innkeeper. One look from Aberforth and three of the clients sitting on the barstools disappeared into the crowd.

"Was that…?" asked Remus.

Sirius nodded. "Regulus and Rabastan."

"Sit, sit," Aberforth insisted, not noticing the boys' slight distraction. He cleaned down the bench and placed three clean shot glasses in front of each stool, and then pulled out one for himself. The younger Dumbledore then poured out four generous servings of firewhisky.

Aberforth raised a fourth glass in the air. "To Remus and his beautiful bride, may you both live happily for the rest of your days," he toasted, before swallowing his shot in one swallow.

James and Sirius tried to hide their snickers as Albus' brother referred to Severus as a beautiful woman. He certainly wasn't beautiful (at least not to **normal** folk) and he **definitely** wasn't a woman; although technically, he was rather girly, with his long hair, and his affinity towards men.

A dark look from Remus stopped their giggles in an instant, and they each followed Aberforth's lead, swallowing the firewhisky in one gulp.

Aberforth poured himself another glass and quickly downed it. "Well boys, I must be off now," he announced. "I'm in charge of the Citizen's Watch tonight."

James and Sirius exchanged glances. They both had dubious opinions about the Watch. "If there's any trouble, don't try to take them on yourselves," said Sirius.

James nodded. "It's probably better to spy on any suspicious characters and report them to the Aurors."

Remus laid a hand on Aberforth's arm. "Just be careful, and have a great night," he told the Headmaster's brother.

Aberforth smiled. "You too, young un'. Tonight, your drinks are on the house."

* * *

"So there was Moony hanging out the window, practically comatose, and Prongs here was sitting on his bed, writing down his deepest darkest secrets, smelling as though he had fallen in a vat of perfume," Sirius explained to Peter almost three hours later.

The entire table burst into laughter. The Marauders had all drunk a little too much alcohol, and were all feeling very merry.

James tried to defend himself. "I did not. It was only a few sprays."

"A few sprays? You nearly had to floo me to St Mungo's," Remus admonished.

"You **smelt** like a perfumery," replied Sirius.

Peter watched the exchange go on between the three friends. He was feeling decidedly left out. Having taken a job at the Hog's Head while James and Sirius trained as Aurors, and Remus studied at university, he felt completely left out of the loop. He sighed. "I wish you had gotten a stripper," he moaned. "I like strippers."

James giggled. "Moony's already had a strip tease today, hasn't he?" he said poking the werewolf in the ribs.

Sirius blushed. "Don't remind me," he mumbled.

"What happened?" asked Peter, feeling left out once again. He really did hate being separated from his friends.

"After I came back from the bathroom, I caught Paddy waving his family jewels in Moony's face. Moony refused to tell us how Sniv- **Snape**'s compared."

Peter burst out laughing. "I didn't know you had it in you!" he said, clapping Sirius on the back.

"My towel fell off," Sirius growled.

"Sure it did," James said, smirking.

"Was he any good?" Peter asked Remus.

Remus flushed. He thought widely to change the subject. He turned to James. "So what, or should I say **who** were you wearing all that cologne for?" he asked.

"No-one," answered James, a little too quickly.

"No-one?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No-one!"

"Does Prongs have a crush on a girl?" asked Peter in a sing-sing voice.

"No!"

"I think he does!" Remus exclaimed.

Sirius laughed. "I thought you hated the idea of dating girls," he said. "Unless… you've taken a sudden fancy to a man…"

"I have not!"

"So it **is** a girl?" teased Remus.

James glared at Remus.

"Is it Lily?" asked Peter.

James' cheeks reddened.

"It is! It is Lily!" Peter shouted. "James and Lily sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G –"

James stood up, halting Peter's song in mid-verse. "I need to use the men's room," he announced, leaving his three smirking friends.

Remus and Sirius shared a knowing look. Bingo! James **had** finally fallen for Lily.

"I knew he liked Lily," Peter told his friends. "When we went down to the Potions Lab the other night, he asked me to leave so that he could put the moves on her."

Sirius burst out laughing. He was about to tell Peter that they had set them up, when one of the waitresses walked up to the table.

She handed Peter a note, and was about to walk away when Sirius caught her eye. He smiled at her encouragingly. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Is there anything I can get you boys?" she asked.

"Four Dragon's Breaths please," Sirius ordered.

"Make that three," Peter said, standing from the table. He folded his note, and slipped it into his robes. "You will have to excuse me for a few minutes," he told his friends. "Something has come up."

Peter finished his pint of lager. "I may be some time, but I'll hurry back as soon as possible," he told them.

Remus nodded. "If James has gotten himself stuck trying to sneak out the toilet window, make sure to spank his bottom a few times," he said, giggling. Perhaps it was time that he stopped drinking.

The waitress looked at Remus as though he had two heads.

"Our friend was gone off in a huff because we were teasing him about a girl. He has been known to sneak out from dates through toilet windows," explained Sirius. He turned to Peter. "We'll be here, take your time."

"Thanks," Peter replied before making his way out of the bar.

"So yes, let's make that **two** Dragon's Breaths…"

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	22. Chapter Twenty One

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 21**

In the dungeons of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Severus was having a rather hard time convincing the women of the castle that he was perfectly capable of preparing for his own wedding.

"I will be able to manage," he said as Minerva, Arabella and Lily invaded his personal chambers.

"You certainly cannot," replied Minerva as she set a large, rather heavy-looking basket on his coffee table.

Arabella took a strand of his oily hair in her fingers and rubbed. "Disgusting," she commented. "This needs to be cleaned. Not to mention a trim," she announced.

"I will wash it in the morning," Severus declared. "I do not need your assistance."

"Oh come on, Sev. The sooner you let us clean you up, the sooner we can leave, and the sooner you have your privacy back," Lily said. "Plus, it'll be fun."

"For you maybe."

"For you too," Arabella replied.

"No pain, no gain, Severus," Minerva teased.

Lily pulled out her wand. "We can do this the easy way, or we can bind and gag you: your choice."

"I am the victim of a carefully plotted ambush," muttered Severus, knowing that to give in to Lily now would be the best course of action if he wished to preserve his dignity. "Fine! Do what you wish."

"Brilliant!" the girls chorused and closed in on their victim.

* * *

An hour later found Severus sitting in a reclining chair in his bathroom. He was wearing nothing but his swimming trunks and was cursing the moment he opened the door to the two Gryffindors and the one Gryffindor want-to-be.

Arabella was washing his hair in the basin. Minerva had transformed it into a hairdresser's sink so that his neck was rested comfortably. Lily had smothered his hair in Henna Wax and wrapped it in clear plastic as soon as he had permitted the three women to touch him.

While the Henna was softening his hair, Lily and Minerva had taken it upon themselves to wax his legs and face. Not ever having waxed any part of his body before, Severus hadn't realised what they were planning until he was standing in his bathroom with strip wax covering his legs, and hot wax plastered to his face.

He had screamed out in pain as the wax was ripped from his eyebrows and nostrils. Shouting bloody murder as he thought his skin was being removed. Arabella had quickly covered the abused region, and the rest of his face with a cooling mask. The face mask was one of Lily's creations, which she had been steadily supplying to Minerva and Arabella for the past two years.

Not trusting the ladies after the debacle with his eyebrows and nose, Severus lightly ran a finger through the mask, to make sure that they wouldn't be trying to rip out any more hair from his face. He looked quite a sight, sprawled on a chair in the bathroom, wearing his swimming trunks, with his hair wrapped in plastic, a green frothy face mask covering his face, and white strip wax covering his legs.

Arabella covered his eyes with two slices of cucumber while Lily pulled out a wand, and cast a subtle immobility charm on him. She didn't want Severus kicking her while she was removing the wax from his legs.

Together, she and Minerva placed cotton strips down on Severus' legs. They rubbed hard, and counted to three, then simultaneously ripped the hair from his legs.

Severus' swearing was so bad that Lily was forced to place a silencing charm on him. The girls grinned at each other and continued to make his legs hair-free.

"Consider this full and final payback for the time you transfigured your desk into a sixty-foot serpent," Minerva said, as she tore the hair out of Severus' inner thigh.

Lily's immobility charm had stopped the Slytherin from being able to move any bone in his body. No matter how hard he tried to bat his eyelids to remove the cucumber slices that were covering his eyes, they wouldn't budge. As much as he would have liked to watch what the women were doing, he admitted, grudgingly, that he would rather not like to see their malicious smiles as they tortured him.

The feeling of two pairs of hands smoothing fabric into his skin and then ripping out his hairs was bad enough. The third pair of hands which was massaging a soothing potion into his abused skin was worse.

He wanted his Remus.

Finally, Arabella removed the cucumber slices from his face and, moving him over to the sink, gently washed the face mask away. She popped open a potion bottle, and poured a little into her hands. Adding a little water, she began to massage it into his skin.

It hurt too. It felt as though the squib was rubbing little grains of sand into his face. Between that and the stinging in his legs, Severus was not happy.

He didn't think it could get any worse until, while Arabella was washing his face for the second time, he felt his trunks being pulled aside and something warm and sticky coating the skin very close to his privates.

The look he gave Arabella was one of pure terror as Minerva and Lily removed the wax from his bikini line.

* * *

When Severus regained consciousness he found Lily staring down at him, and the immobility charm released.

"You ok?" she asked, wiping his brow with a wet cloth.

"Don't you ever, **EVER** do that **again**!" hissed Severus, sitting up in the reclining chair. He looked down at his now hairless legs. They were pasty white except for the red rash which covered the skin.

"What have you done to me?" he growled, giving each of women a forceful death stare.

"They'll be fine," assured Lily. "Just a little irritated at the moment, but I promise, they'll feel **fantastic** underneath your robes tomorrow."

Minerva pushed Severus backwards so that he was, once more, sitting comfortably in the chair. "No more pain, I promise you," she said. "Arabella is going to take care of your hair, and Lily and I are going to do your nails for you."

"My nails?" asked Severus apprehensively.

Lily nodded. "We're just going to get all the potion stains out."

Severus allowed himself to be cajoled by the three women into allowing them to continue, on penalty of being the proud recipients of Cod Liver Oil in their tea if they hurt him once more.

Arabella began by un-wrapping the plastic from his hair, and rinsing out the Henna with warm water.

Lily and Minerva set up two basins on either side of Severus. They mixed together one of Lily's potions with a little water and set Severus' hands to soak, before repeating the process with his feet.

Arabella gently rubbed some conditioner into Severus' hair, massaging his scalp in a bid to help him relax. As the squib massaged, Severus did settle down, closing his eyes, and allowing himself to enjoy being pampered without pain.

When his hair was clean, the women moved Severus away from the sink, and transfigured the chair so that he was seated upright.

Lily handed him a glass of red wine, before she and Minerva kneeled at his feet, and began to give him a pedicure. They removed the calluses from his heels, and cut his tough, yellowing toenails. Buffing and filing, they shaped the nails so that they looked neat, tidy and presentable.

While Severus' feet were being treated, Arabella was contemplating how to fix Severus' hair. It was long and dull and dreary. She didn't want to cut it short, as she didn't know whether or not Severus needed to tie his hair back in his potions work. Finally, she decided to trim off the split ends and reshape it slightly.

Before long, Severus was sporting a fresh new haircut and his feet were radiant. Minerva handed Arabella a charmed hairdryer, and focused her attention on Severus' hands.

She and Lily had their jobs cut out for them there. Severus' fingers were still stained with potion ingredients, even after a twenty-minute soak in Lily's potions. By mutual agreement, they began vigorously rubbing the undiluted concoction into the Potion Apprentice's hands.

As Lily and Minerva scrubbed away at Severus' hands, Arabella was drying Severus' hair. She didn't expect that the style would last until the wedding, but she wasn't going to let Severus go to bed with wet hair. She decided to give it a little body, and dried the groom's hair into a nice bob.

Minerva and Lily finally removed all the stains from Severus' fingers. They filed and buffed his nails, but stopped short of applying a clear varnish, so as not to attract attention to his hands.

"There we go, all done," announced Minerva, as she put away her nail file.

"It wasn't too bad, wasn't it?" asked Arabella, spinning Severus around so that he could see himself in the mirror.

Severus shrugged. He was still angry about his impromptu waxing.

Lily pulled out a small pair of scissors. "Now, just to trim your other hair and we're all set."

Severus' eyes widened. "Absolutely not!" he growled. "I am not letting you get anywhere near me with those scissors." He knew exactly what hair Lily wanted to trim, and he was not going to allow it **at all**.

"You have all done quite enough for this evening," he announced.

He looked at his watch. It was almost ten o'clock. "But if you will excuse me, ladies: it is getting late, and I am getting married tomorrow."

Severus looked at each of the women in his bathroom. "Thank you," he said quietly. "But if you ever, **ever** try to wax any part of my body again, I will give you all kidney stones."

The women smiled. "You're welcome Severus," said Minerva, leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek. "I'll come down early tomorrow and help you prepare."

Arabella hugged him. "Good luck tomorrow, I'll see you at the ceremony."

Lily was the last to say goodbye. She hugged him for a very long time. "I'm glad you finally got him to commit," she whispered in his ear. "You deserve to find love."

When she pulled away, there were tears in her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sev," Lily said. "I'll come down and see you before the ceremony."

Severus waited for the three Gryffindors to pack away their supplies before escorting them to the door. Once they were gone, he pulled out his wand and cast several more powerful wards onto his door just in case Lily tried to return to finish his hair cut.

The Slytherin walked into the bedroom and pulled off his trunks. He looked at himself in the mirror. He legs looked much better now that the rash had calmed. They seemed whiter than usual, but he assumed that was due to the fact that he was used to looking at them through thick, dark hair.

He inspected his eyebrows, and his hair. They both looked great. Arabella had done a fantastic job.

Severus leaned into the mirror, and examined his nose. It was still tender, and he couldn't really see the result of the waxing. He retrieved his wand, and shone a light up one nostril and then the other. He grudgingly conceded that his nose was marginally neater now.

Finally he stepped back and examined his crotch. The waxing had given his hair some definition, framing his manhood perfectly. Looking more carefully at the area, he realised that he agreed with Lily: it was, indeed, overgrown with hair.

Naked, Severus went off in search of a pair of scissors to give himself a haircut.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

* * *

This is the R-rated version of a NC-17 story.

This chapter has been edited in accordance with the terms of service.

To read the NC-17 version of this chapter, visit my livejournal: http :www . livejournal . com / users / goblet / 13698 . html

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Peter hurried up to his room in the Hog's Head and retrieved the items he had stolen from Severus earlier in the week. He had left them in the overnight bag he had taken to Hogwarts, so all he had needed to do was dig it out of his cupboard.

Once he checked that everything was still in the bag, Peter locked his door and made his way to Rodolphus' room, which was on the first floor at the back of building. Trembling slightly from anticipation, the young Gryffindor knocked lightly on the door.

"Pettigrew," Rodolphus greeted him as he opened the door. "Come in."

Peter shuffled inside, clutching the bag to his chest. He was excited; he still couldn't believe that he was going to do this!

"Sit," the Slytherin commanded, pointing to the end of the bed. Peter sat as instructed, placing the bag in his lap.

"Did you manage to acquire our special materials?" Rodolphus asked, straddling the back of a chair to look at the mousy Gryffindor.

Peter nodded vigorously. The masculinity of Rodolphus stance, Hell: the masculinity and **power** of Rodolphus himself was an **enormous** turn on. "I-I-I even got a set of his robes," he stuttered as he felt himself becoming aroused.

"Excellent," the Slytherin shot him a feral smile. "Before you go and transform, there are a few items of business that we need to discuss."

"There are?" the animagus squeaked.

Rodolphus nodded. "Firstly, this is one of my deepest secrets, I've wanted to nail Snape's pretty little arse since fourth year. You will not tell **anyone** about it. Is that clear? Not even my brother."

"I promise, I won't tell anyone."

"Have you already told anyone?"

"No, not a soul," Peter stated, shaking his head.

"Do you swear a wizard's oath that you will not divulge this night to **anyone**, even upon punishment of death?" Rodolphus asked, his voice hardening.

The chubby animagus nodded vigorously. "I swear on my honour as a wizard that I will not tell anyone," he declared.

"Good." Rodolphus smiled again. "Secondly, this is **my** fantasy, and I wish for things to proceed as I desire."

"Of course, Rodolphus," Peter grinned. He couldn't wait to play Snivellus. The sooner he could Polyjuice, the sooner the powerful Slytherin would possess him.

Rodolphus stood from the chair, and walked seductively towards Pettigrew and sat on the bed beside him.

"I want you to put on Snape's robes and **only** Snape's robes," he instructed. "No pants, no shoes, nothing but the robes.

"I will be waiting on the balcony. We will pretend that this room is the dormitory and that other students are still in here, and we want to be alone."

Rodolphus placed one hand over Peter's mouth as the animagus began to speak. "I have already cast an obscuring charm, if anyone was to come by, they won't see us."

"While we are otherwise engaged, any and all comments you will make will encompass and compare my attributes against Lupin's. For example: I am better hung; I am a pure blood. Feel free to add that you love me and any other endearments that you can think of – not that I think you will be able to **think**." Rodolphus smirked.

"If you can manage to act as a slut that would be excellent," Rodolphus added, leaning over to possess Peter's mouth in a domineering kiss.

He bit down hard on the animagus' lower lip as he released him. "Any questions?" he asked.

Pettigrew shook his head.

"Well, off you go then," Rodolphus instructed.

Peter nodded, and stood from the bed with shaky legs.

Rodolphus grabbed him as he was about to walk away. "Just one more thing," he said, pulling out his wand, and tapping Peter's backside. The Gryffindor felt his arse widening, and a cleaning charm cleansing him inside and out.

"For later," Rodolphus whispered seductively.

Peter blushed once more and shyly held the bag in front of him. With a smack on his backside from his lover, he made his way to the bathroom.

* * *

"James has fallen for Lily!" Sirius whispered loudly.

Remus nodded in agreement. "And Severus says that Lily overheard him speaking with Arabella. So they shouldn't fight next time they meet!" He giggled again, and was joined by Sirius. Maybe it was time to cast a sobering charm.

Their giggling was interrupted by the arrival of Sirius' brother.

"Sirius?"

"Hey Reg!" Sirius exclaimed, standing up and slapping his hand on his brother's back. "Come join us."

"Actually, I would like a word, if you don't mind," Regulus answered quietly.

"In private?"

"If you want, but I don't mind if Lupin hears, it concerns him."

The two Gryffindors looked at each other. What did Regulus need to tell them?

"Let's go outside," suggested Remus, standing up unsteadily. "It's quieter there."

The three men walked outside, Remus taking longer as he had to manoeuvre through the crowd dragging his cannonball. He wasn't too steady on his feet as it was, being on the plastered side of merry.

Once outside, Regulus pulled out his wand. "May I cast a sobering charm?" he asked. "It would be best if you were not intoxicated."

Sirius gave his brother a strange look. _A sobering charm_?

"I'll do it," he replied, casting a charm both on himself and Remus.

When they were both stone-cold sober, Regulus turned to Remus. "Are you marrying Snape tomorrow?"

"You know he is," answered Sirius. He was not happy that his brother had interrupted Remus' Freedom Night, not only interrupting his seduction of the waitress, but also requiring that they be sober for whatever small matter had arisen.

"I'm not sure that he will when he learns what I know."

"There's a problem?" Remus asked. Had something happened to Severus? Had Albus been called away?

"Tell me."

"You may think that I don't like you. And please realise that I am not doing this out of spite, but after wrestling with my conscience. I know Sirius loves you like a brother. I assume he helped you win Snape's affections and love. That he helped arrange your marriage."

"What's the matter?" Sirius asked. His brother was scaring him. What was wrong!

"I came here to tell you, for I couldn't allow you to marry him without telling you." Regulus took a deep breath before continuing. "He has a certain… reputation…

"He is… disloyal."

"Who, Severus?"

Regulus nodded. "Your Severus. _Slytherin house's_ Severus. _Every man's_ Severus."

Remus' heart had stopped. "Disloyal?" he croaked out.

"Disloyal probably is too kind a word," Regulus answered sincerely. "Others would call him worse, if you can think of an appropriate title, I will call him that."

_Severus was a slut? The slut of Slytherin?_ Sirius could **not** believe what his brother was telling them.

"I don't believe you," Sirius stated. "What proof do you have?" he asked. "Do you have any **proof** that Snape is disloyal?"

Regulus nodded. "Come with me now. I saw him with another man in this very building." Regulus pointed to the Hog's Head. "They are visible from the street. On the balcony they were… together, the night before your wedding.

"Come, I'll show you," he repeated. "If you still love him after seeing what I saw, then marry him tomorrow, but if you wish to keep your honour, I suggest that you change your mind."

Remus worriedly looked at Sirius. He didn't know what to think, what to do.

"You want him to call off the wedding, because you say that Snape sleeps around?" Sirius demanded.

"I speak the truth," insisted Regulus. "You may not believe my word, but follow me, and I will show you what I saw. I will show you enough to back my word. When you have seen it, **heard** it, then you can take whatever course of action you feel appropriate.

"I just couldn't allow the marriage to proceed without informing you of that."

Sirius stepped close to Remus and pulled him into a brotherly embrace. His friend seemed to be in shock, the news of Snape's unfaithfulness hitting him hard. Sirius wanted the truth. If Regulus had staged some sort of hoax, then there would be hell to pay. If Snape was fooling around behind Remus' back, then the consequence would be worse. Much, much worse.

"Show us then."

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

* * *

This is the R-rated version of a NC-17 story.

This chapter has been edited in accordance with the terms of service.

To read the NC-17 version of this chapter (and, for this chapter, I sincerely suggest that you **do**), visit my livejournal: http :www . livejournal . com / users / goblet / 14077 . html

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Peter had been in the bathroom for quite some time. He had removed all his clothes and recast another cleansing charm on himself, cleaning both inside and out, before sitting down on the closed toilet seat.

He pulled out the vial of Polyjuice, and the envelope which held Snape's hair. Peter took a glass from the vanity and placed the hair into the bottom of it. He tipped the contents of the vial into the glass, and threw the empty container into the rubbish bin.

And then stared at the concoction: apprehensive about the taste, and about the transformation. He thought about Rodolphus, waiting for him on the balcony; waiting to shag **him**.

Taking a deep breath, he held his nose and drank down the Polyjuice.

* * *

Regulus led his brother and the half-blood down the alley which ran behind the Hog's Head inn. "Shh! Don't startle them," he whispered, as they approached Rodolphus' rooms. The cannonball the half-blood was dragging around was making a racket as it was dragged, bouncing, along the cobblestones.

Rodolphus had assured Pettigrew that he had placed an obscuring charm over his balcony. He had done so, only it didn't stop people seeing them, it stopped Wormtail seeing anyone below.

Sirius pulled out his wand and detached the cannonball from Remus' ankle. As a precaution he also cast a silencing charm around them.

"Up there," Regulus advised, pointing a finger up to where Rodolphus was standing.

The two Gryffindors looked up and saw the elder LeStrange brother standing on one of the first-floor balconies several meters in front of them. His hands were buried in the hair of a person kneeling at his feet. The dark-haired man was pleasuring LeStrange; fairly successfully, if his moans and thrusts were any indication.

The balcony was only a foot above Sirius' head, closed in on three sides by a wrought iron railing, and backed by Hog's Head inn itself. From where they stood, the trio had a good view of the two men engaged in their sexual activity. Rodolphus, himself, was leaning against one of the side railings, facing the three interlopers. The person at his feet had his back to them.

Remus gaze slid down from Rodolphus' face to find a **very** familiar head buried in the other man's crotch. Granted, he couldn't see the other man's face, but his hair was an exact match to Severus'. He gasped.

Upon hearing Remus' gasp, Sirius tore his gaze away from Rodolphus' blissful face and stared at the man servicing him.

"Maybe it's not him," he whispered gently, taking Remus' hand and giving it a light squeeze. "It could be someone else with black, greasy hair."

"Your brother said it was," Remus replied in a flat voice.

"He could have been mistaken. We can't see his face."

Remus shook his head. "It's him, I know it." He turned to start walking down the alley, in the direction they had come.

Sirius grabbed at him. "Stay. At least until we know for certain that it is him."

Remus allowed himself to be pulled back to his former position. There were tears in his eyes. He didn't want to tell Sirius that he could **smell** Severus. That Severus' scent was even stronger than usual, because he was aroused: because he was enjoying the sexual stimulation.

Remus sniffled, grateful that his nose was blocking up so that he didn't have to smell Severus anymore.

"Severussssss," Rodolphus moaned out loud, his thrusts becoming stronger as he plundered the other man's mouth.

Sirius tightened his grip on Remus' hand. "There's still a chance that it is not him," he whispered to his friend. Remus glared at him through his tears. "He may just be saying it…" Sirius tried to explain. It was a dumb explanation, but he had to believe it. Snape would never cheat on Remus. Never. Would he?

He looked back up at the balcony where Rodolphus was buried balls deep down the cock-sucker's throat. Evidentially, he had achieved orgasm and was emptying himself into the other man's face.

Once he had recovered, he pulled himself out of the suckling mouth, and moved to pick up a goblet from inside the door.

The two Gryffindors walked further down the alley to get a look at the dark-haired man who had been pleasuring him. The other man had remained kneeling on the ground as Rodolphus drank from the goblet. His eyes closed; his lips swollen and red; a smile plastered on his face.

It was Severus Snape.

"Told you," whispered Regulus.

The werewolf looked up at the balcony, where Severus was kneeling, in full view of whoever may pass. He wasn't even wearing the choker Remus had given him. He had removed it before offering himself to a fellow Slytherin.

"Severus Snape the Slytherin Slut," Remus murmured to himself.

"**Bastard!**" he screamed up at the balcony, before turning and running down the alley.

* * *

Sirius stood, stunned at his friend's outburst, before following a moment later.

"Remus, wait!" Sirius called once they reached the High Street. The werewolf slowed down to a stop outside Honeydukes Sweetshop.

Sirius pulled him into his arms, and held him tight.

"H-h-he made a f-f-fool out of m-me," sobbed Remus as he collapsed into his friend's arms in tears.

"He made a fool out of everyone," Sirius murmured, rubbing large circles on Remus' back.

Remus hiccupped as Sirius soothed him and slowly pulled away, the pain in his eyes evident. "Now I know what he meant when he said that he had plans tonight," he said inaudibly.

Remus collapsed on the cobblestones in a heap, crying openly.

Sirius crouched beside him, trying to comfort him as much as he could. Eventually, sitting on the street beside his friend, he hauled him into his lap.

"Do you want me to call the wedding off?" he asked softly.

Remus shook his head.

"Are you sure?"

The werewolf nodded.

"Are you still going to marry him?" Sirius asked, confused. Remus wanted to marry Severus even though he was unfaithful?

"No," Remus murmured, snivelling. "I will make a fool out of him, as he has made a fool out of me," he snarled angrily. "And I'll do it at the ceremony, when he would have done it to me."

Sirius pulled Remus into a tight hug. "As I helped you win him back, it will be my pleasure to help you disgrace him," he vowed.

"Thank you Padfoot."

Regulus smiled as he overheard those last few words. His plan had worked brilliantly.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 24**

"Mr Zonko, Mr Dervish and Mr Banges," Aberforth greeted the three men waiting outside Dervish and Banges.

Although not the brightest wizard in Hogsmeade (Aberforth was a master of malapropisms, always getting his words just slightly wrong), he **was** Albus Dumbledore's younger brother and had been assigned the duty of Watch Coordinator by the Hogsmeade Village Council.

Under Aberforth, the Watch was very polite, but not very effective at deterring crime, or Death Eaters. In fact, the Watch was charged with doing very little, except being quiet and trying (not very hard) to keep the peace.

The group of men waiting outside Dervish and Banges were to patrol the west end of the village, while another group, waiting outside the post office, would be patrolling the east end. Aberforth and his second in command, Isaac Honeyduke, were the go-betweens.

"Are you good men and true?" Aberforth asked as he approached the West Watch.

"Of course!" replied Isaac Honeyduke, the proprietor of Honeydukes sweetshop. "They are all free of the Dark Mark."

"Ahh, of course, or else they would not have been chosen for the Citizens' Watch," Aberforth said, grinning widely.

"Well, give them their charge, Aberforth," Honeyduke replied, nudging the other man forward.

"First, who is the most desert-less man? A man to be your constable?" he asked.

Dervish stood forward and saluted before replying. "Zonko sir, for he has an ingenious mind for jokes and tricks."

"Come forward then, Mr Zonko," Aberforth instructed.

A jolly man stepped forward. He had rosy cheeks and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Aberforth looked him up and down. "To be a well-favoured man is pure luck, but to be skilled with jokes and tricks comes by nature," he stated.

"Both which, Dumbledore -" Zonko began, before being interrupted by Aberforth.

"- You have: I know will be your answer. Good, good, I know you would be delighted to be the constable.

"You are the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore, you get to carry the lantern."

Aberforth gave Zonko a fairy trapped in a glass jar. "This is your charge: you will apprehend all vagabond men and you are to bid any man to stand in the Light's name."

"What if they will not stand?" asked Banges.

Aberforth scratched his whiskers. "Then… take no notice of him and let him go. And be thankful that you are rid of a rogue."

"If he will not stand when he is bidden, then he is not a supporter of the Light," Honeyduke added.

"That's right!" Aberforth turned to Honeyduke and congratulated him on his insight. He turned back to the watch. "You are not to meddle with anyone who does not support the Light," he told them.

"You shall not make any noise in the street, for the Watch to babble and make noise is most tolerable and not to be endured."

"We would rather sleep than talk," Dervish exclaimed.

Aberforth smiled. "You sound like a seasoned watchman. I cannot see how sleep can offend, only take care that your wallets aren't stolen."

The Innkeeper looked at his list of instructions once more. "You are to call at the Hog's Head and the Three Broomsticks, and tell the drunkards to go home and sleep it off."

"What if they won't?"

"Excellent question," answered Aberforth. "Leave them alone until they are sober then. If they make a fuss then, just tell them that they aren't the men you took them for."

The three watchmen nodded.

"If you meet with a thief," continued Aberforth, "you may suspect him to be a lying man. Leave him for as true men, the less you meddle with him, the more honest you are."

"If we know he is a thief, then should we not arrest him?" asked Dervish.

"As a member of the Watch, you may; but you do not want to become defiled by his impurity. The most peaceful way, if you do arrest a thief, is to let him show himself, and steal out of your company."

"You have always been a merciful man, Aberforth," Honeyduke stated, bowing down to the older man.

"'Tis true," Aberforth replied. "I wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone a man who has some good in him."

Honeyduke looked at their list before returning his attention to the Watch. "If you hear a child cry in the night, you must wake its mother."

"What if its mother is asleep and won't hear us?" asked Zonko.

"Well, leave her alone then and let the child wake her with its cries," Aberforth responded. "For a ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baas will never answer a calf when he bleats."

"'Tis very true," backed Honeyduke.

Aberforth checked his checklist again. "That is the end of your charge," he announced. "Good night, my good sirs, if there are any problems, call upon me. I shall be speaking with the Eastern Watch."

The three men nodded and watched as Aberforth disappeared towards the Three Broomsticks. "Shall we sit outside the shop?" asked Banges.

"Let's," agreed Dervish.

"And we can all go to bed at two," added Zonko, as they made their way to Dervish and Banges.

"One more thing," called Aberforth as he came running back towards them. "Watch outside the Inn's door, for there is a wedding tomorrow at Hogwarts, and a great celebration tonight! We want the groom returned in one piece."

He dropped his voice to a whisper, "Remember: be vigilant and may the Light be with you."

After Aberforth and Honeyduke departed for the second time that evening, the West Watch continued on their way to Dervish and Banges, sat down quietly on a bench, and prepared to go to sleep.

* * *

"Rabastan!" called Rodolphus as he wandered up the High Street. He and his brother had planned to meet after the rouse to discuss how things had proceeded.

"Shhh!" came a rather nasty hushing from one of the cottages.

Rodolphus lowered his voice. "Rabastan!" he half whispered.

"I'm here," his brother hissed, appearing at his elbow.

Rodolphus jumped a mile. "For the love of Merlin!" he whispered angrily at his brother. "Did you have to give me a heart attack!"

Rabastan grinned devilishly. "How did it go tonight?" he asked, ignoring his brother's anger.

Rodolphus hit him on the arm and pulled him under the awning of a nearby shop: Dervish and Banges. It had begun to rain, and it was the closest shelter in the street. Not that the two brothers wanted to return to the Hog's Head or Hogwarts that evening. No, they were staying well clear of the Gryffindor do-gooders.

"It went brilliantly," he whispered to his brother, his eyes twinkling wickedly. He pulled a bottle of Vivian's Voracious Vodka out of his robes and took a swig, before handing it to his brother.

"My little fuck buddy had stolen the Polyjuice and Snape's robes. When he had transformed, he performed magnificently. He was the epitome of a whore and it didn't even matter that he can't act for shit and wasn't anything like the real Snape. He just spread his legs and let me fuck Severus Snape's bony white arse."

Rabastan snorted. "You realise Bellatrix will castrate you if she finds out you've been screwing around behind her back."

Rodolphus grinned, "Why do you think, dear brother, I screw around with men and have not taken a female… consort?"

Rabastan sighed. "I don't even want to know," he told Rodolphus. He took a generous sip of the vodka and handed it back to his brother.

"Black has promised to get his hands on his grandfather's book of Unforgivable Curses, in payment for tonight," Rodolphus said, changing the subject.

"Regulus is giving you **that** for a little slap and tickle?" asked Rabastan.

"He is a villain, is he not?" asked his brother. "I would safely assume that he would have paid me much, much more for that little stunt tonight if I had asked him for it."

"More about tonight: was Lupin there?"

The elder LeStrange nodded. He drank from the bottle and handed it back before responding. "Regulus brought his brother and that half-blood, Lupin to the alley behind the inn. They saw **everything**. And I mean **everything** I had 'Snape' on his knees sucking me off. And then I took him standing up against the railing –"

"- this was on the balcony?"

"Yes. I had instructed 'Snape' not to wear anything under his robes, and from what I said to him, calling him a slut, removing his clothes to find nothing underneath, I had the half-blood believing that Snape had been screwing around behind his back for years, spreading his legs for any willing cock."

"Sheer absolute brilliance on your part, Rodolphus."

"Why thank you Rabastan."

"So is the wedding off?"

A sinful grin graced Rodolphus' features. "Why, Rabastan, that is the best part. The half-blood has not called off the wedding. He's going to bloody well leave Snape at the altar!"

"He's not!" exclaimed Rabastan.

"I mock you not. He's going to make a fool of him, and announce to the entire congregation what he saw tonight." Rodolphus smirked, happy with his handiwork.

Rabastan's eyes widened. "What about Pettigrew? How do you know he won't blab?"

Rodolphus beamed. "I made him swear a wizard's oath not to breathe a word of it to anyone."

"You truly are a master of deception."

Rodolphus took the vodka bottle off his brother and swallowed several mouthfuls.

Suddenly the two slightly inebriated wizards were ambushed by three angry shopkeepers.

"Accio wands!" cried Banges, summoning and catching the LeStranges' wands as they flew out of their robes before the two Slytherins could even reach for them.

The brothers turned and found themselves staring down the business end of three quavering wands.

"You are under Citizens' Arrest," announced Dervish.

Zonko stared at the brothers, anger evident in his eyes. "Go fetch Aberforth," he told Banges. "We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth."

Rodolphus and Rabastan looked at each other _Lechery?_

"Good sirs," Rabastan began, stepping forward, as Banges retreated, running down the street.

"Stay where you are," snarled Dervish, pushing his wand into the other man's nose, sliding up Rabastan's nostril.

"But –"

"No buts!" growled Zonko. "You are under arrest, and you are coming with us!" Dervish poked his wand further up Rabastan's nose.

Rodolphus leant forward and whispered in Rabastan's ear. "Without our wands, we have little to defend ourselves with. They are going to arrest us for lechery. _Lechery_. Lechery is not a crime. It's best to go along nicely, and we will be well compensated for their… idiocy. Moreover, we will have somewhere warm to spend the night."

Rabastan nodded, agreeing with his brother. It **would** be nice to have somewhere warm to spend the night; he didn't fancy returning to Hogwarts and running into the half-blood; or Snape for that matter. "We come peacefully," he announced, raising his arms to hold his hands over his head.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 25**

Early the next morning, Severus was woken by a heavy thumping on his front door. Grumbling to himself, he pulled on a dressing gown and stumbled into his living room.

"What?" he growled as he yanked open the door to find two fully dressed, smiling Gryffindors waiting in his corridor.

Both Lily and Minerva jumped as the door was unexpectedly jerked open.

Lily was the first to recover. "Good morning, Sunshine!" she announced, sweeping past Severus and into the room. She was followed closely by Minerva who was carrying a breakfast tray complete with a pot of strong coffee.

Severus closed the door and warded it again, before staggering to the couch. "Coffee…" he murmured, accepting a mug of the dark brew from Lily.

Lily smirked as she watched Severus devour the hot drink. She'd been living with Severus for the past two years, and nothing short of a several cups of coffee would ever get him up in the mornings before ten. That is, apart from Remus.

"You know, Severus," Minerva said as Severus re-filled his mug. "We could have brought you breakfast in bed if you hadn't strengthened your wards.

The Slytherin glared at the two ladies over his coffee. "And allow you access to do God knows what to my body while I slept? I think not."

Lily smiled and pushed Severus' breakfast in his direction. "Eat," she instructed. "You'll need your strength."

Severus screwed up his nose at her suggestion but set down his coffee and picked up a knife and fork before tucking into his bacon and eggs. The eggs were over-easy, precisely the way he liked them and the bacon was at just the right point between crispy and charcoal for his tastes.

"We would not want you to faint during the ceremony now would we?" Minerva commented as she poured Severus a glass of orange juice - freshly squeezed - none of the preserved stuff he hated.

The Slytherin scowled at his Maid of Honour. "I don't faint," he replied, as he picked up a piece of toast and began to spread his yolks over it.

"Of course you don't, dear," Minerva replied, patting his leg. "We just wouldn't want you to start now."

* * *

Once Severus had finished his breakfast, he was shoved into the bathroom, with strict instructions to shower and shave quickly and return to his bedroom. A new pair of white trunks was thrown in after him as he closed the door, together with an order to put on the new underwear and not his usual black boxers.

When he emerged fifteen minutes later, Severus found that Lily and Minerva had laid out his robes on the bed, and were busy polishing his boots.

When Lily saw Severus she beamed. "Your gown is exquisite," she remarked. "Very you… yet not," she tried to explain.

Severus shot her a wry grin.

"I mean the gold edging and the pearl buttons," she continued. "The buttons! They're everywhere down the front, down the sleeves, it's just beautiful. I **love** the train, and the sleeves are gorgeous, so wonderfully full."

"I hope I feel as good wearing it as you feel looking at it," Severus replied. "I don't feel too good."

"Probably just nerves," Minerva replied, standing up from the bed and crossing the room to give Severus a small hug.

"I don't know… something isn't quite right," he replied. He really **was** worried. "My stomach is… sore."

"Don't worry about it, Severus, I'm not feeling the best myself," Lily told him, trying to keep his mind off speculating what was wrong.

Severus shrugged and moved over to his robes. "I suppose you two ladies are going to help me dress," he said, somewhat dolefully.

"Of course we are!" Lily replied untying Severus' dressing gown and letting it fall to the floor. "Those pants look nice," she said, admiring not only Severus' new underwear, but his package as well.

The Slytherin blushed.

"Lily!" admonished Minerva. "You're embarrassing him!"

She handed her former student a pot of moisturiser and the two set about rubbing the lotion into Severus' skin.

When he was sufficiently sticky, they stopped, and replaced the lid on the jar.

"We'll just wait for that to dry," Minerva announced, wiping her hands on a towel, before handing it to Lily.

Lily looked into Severus' face. He actually looked quite terrible. Something must have been troubling him. "I feel sick," she announced once more, trying to keep Severus' mind off his nerves. She sat on the side of the bed. "My tummy hurts."

Severus snorted.

"No seriously, it hurts. I have a stomach ache," she complained.

"There, there, dear," Minerva said, patting Lily's hand. "I'll get you some of Potter's Acidosis," she said, rooting around in her bag until she produced a jar of pills. "Arabella swears by them."

Potter's Herbal Remedies was the largest range of herbal medicines in Europe. Granted the Potter in question was not related to James, but Minerva could help but tease Lily.

"Potter's? Potter's?" Lily spat. "Why on earth Potter's?"

Minerva chuckled as Severus smirked. "Because their Acidosis mix is very good at helping with indigestion, stomach ache and acid stomach," she said.

"You thought I was referring to James?" She laughed gaily as Lily blushed. "What help would he be if you had a stomach ache?" she asked.

Severus laughed softly for the first time that morning. "You jumped to that conclusion very easily, Lily. Have you been spending your time thinking about Potter?" he teased.

"No!"

Minerva smiled. "And yet James, who **swore** off love, seems so oddly **in** love, don't you think?" she asked Severus.

"Oh, shut up," Lily retorted, picking Severus's robes off the bed and holding it up so that he could slip into it.

Minerva sensed that the conversation was at a close, so she didn't pressure Lily with any more hints of James or love or marriage.

"Just wait a moment," she said as Severus began to slip on the white silk. She rummaged around in her basket once more and pulled out a lacy, pale blue garter.

"Foot up please," she said, as she knelt before Severus. Grudgingly, he raised one foot, and she carefully slipped the garter up his leg.

"There, a nice surprise for Remus," she said once the garter was in place.

"I do believe that my lack of hair will be surprising enough," retorted Severus. "Now, may I dress?" he asked, before Minerva could insist that he wear something even more feminine.

"Of course," Minerva smiled up at him.

Severus slipped into the gown Lily was holding open for him, grumbling the entire time. "One would believe that I enjoy prancing around in my underwear before strange women," he muttered under his breath. Lily laughed as she turned him and began buttoning the pearl buttons down the front of his robes.

The robe he had chosen had a high neck and collar, and was fitted to his chest. Once it reached his hips, it flared out and trailed behind him. The cut of the robes was accentuated by the use of gold thread. The sleeves were full, widely cut and almost touched the floor.

Minerva returned to her basket and retrieved a handkerchief. She offered it to Severus. "A loan," she explained. "Arabella and I have a bet that you will cry at the wedding. She thinks you will, I think not," she explained. "Take the hanky just in case."

Severus rolled his eyes. He shouldn't have been surprised that there were bets going on about his wedding. He took the handkerchief and hid it in a concealed pocket in his robes.

Minerva then presented Severus with an old pocket watch. "This was my father's," she explained. "I want you to have it." She opened the watch to show Severus the inside, silencing him with a glare as he opened his mouth to protest.

There were two dials. The first showed the time. The second had only one hand which showed Severus' face. The hand pointed to 'Getting dressed'. "I charmed it so that it would show your family," she explained. "In its normal state, it will only show you, in case someone else happens to see it. To see Remus, all you need to say is 'Show me my Heart' and he will appear for a few moments."

Minerva handed the watch to Severus. "Thank you," he whispered, looking down in awe at the watch.

"Try it," Lily said.

"Show me my Heart," he whispered. A second hand with Remus' face on the end appeared. It spun around until it came to a stop at 'Travelling'.

"He's travelling," Severus said quietly.

"Travelling?" Lily asked. "He's not travelling; he's heading for the gardens! Quick, we need to finish getting ready!"

Severus found himself roughly pushed to sit in a chair. Minerva was busy pulling a comb through his hair, while Lily had thrust one foot inside his boot, and was lacing up the laces.

"I don't know why you are bothering with my hair," he grumbled as Lily threw a Muggle penny into his other boot and shoved his foot inside.

"Because you can't go to your own wedding with messy hair," admonished Minerva.

"No-one is going to see my hair," growled Severus.

"Remus will later."

"Remus won't be worried about my **hair**," Severus fumed.

"He'll think it will be nice once you take your hood off," Minerva retorted.

"Whose bloody idea was it for hoods anyway?" asked Lily. "It's just a load of rubbish: keeping evil spirits away!"

"It's tradition," replied Severus, as Minerva tugged at his hair.

Lily sighed and handed Severus Remus' ring. "Along with all that codswallop that the groomsmen and the bridesmaids are there to confuse the spirits: like they'd be confused. The ones getting married are the two wearing hoods!" she continued.

"And yet, Muggles have adopted our practises," Minerva replied, setting Severus' hood in place and securing it with a simple charm.

Minerva helped Severus stand up, adjusting his robes, while Lily moved the mirror so that Severus could see himself.

"Are you ready, Severus?" she asked.

Severus stared at himself in the mirror for a few moments.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 26**

"Albus!" Aberforth called as he spotted his brother in the Headmaster's Rose Garden of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The garden had been set up for the wedding between Remus Lupin and Severus Snape. Being a rather intimate little wedding there were only a few rows of chairs for the guests who were mainly Order members and school staff.

The garden was a small enclosed space, directly under the Headmaster's tower, and in the direct view of the Headmaster's office. It was surrounded by seven-foot high hedges to keep wandering students at bay, and privacy in. A green door led to a private entrance hall at the base of the Headmaster's tower, which connected directly to the Headmaster's study, and a small greenhouse, which propagated new cuttings, stood to one side.

As he heard his brother, Albus turned from where he was reviewing the rituals of the bonding ceremony. "Aberforth!" he greeted his younger brother, abandoning his book and giving his brother a large hug. "What are you doing here?"

Aberforth returned his brother's hug and ushered Honeyduke into the garden. "I have some confidence with you that discerns you nearly," he said.

The Headmaster smiled, despite his brother's appalling grasp of the English language. "Of course Aberforth, only you must keep it brief, I am very busy. I have a wedding to officiate over in half an hour."

Aberforth nodded. "Yes, yes, of course."

Honeyduke backed Aberforth, nodding his head vigorously.

"What is it, my good friends?" asked Albus.

"Honeyduke will speak a little off the matter: he is an old man, his wits are not as blunt as I would desire they were; but he is honest: very honest."

"There is no other man older or honester than I," Honeyduke admitted, blushing.

"Comparisons are odorous: palabras, Honeyduke," responded Aberforth.

Albus pinched the bridge of his nose, just under his glasses. His brother was in fine form today. And wasting his time. "You are becoming tedious, Aberforth," he warned.

Aberforth smiled at his brother. "It pleases you to say so, we are but the lowly Citizens' Watch; but if I were as tedious as the Minister of Magic, I would bestow it all on you."

Albus raised an eyebrow. "All your tediousness on me?" he asked.

The Innkeeper nodded. "Of course! I hear the rumours Albus: of your greatness: of your role in the war. You deserve all tediousness."

"You do," affirmed Honeyduke.

"I would very much like to know what you have to tell me. What is so important that you must interrupt the wedding preparations?" Albus asked his brother. He had had quite enough of his brother's foolishness about tediousness. Especially as he couldn't even decipher what his brother was _trying_ to say.

Honeyduke stepped forward and bowed. "Sir, our Watch to-night, in your great absence, has arrested two outright scoundrels, the most drunken, scandalous men we have ever had the misfortune of meeting," he said.

"Um… Very Good?" the Headmaster responded, clearly not understanding what the matter had to do with him.

Albus waited for some further explanation. Some further reasoning as to why they were telling **him** of all people that they had arrested two drunks, most probably on their way home from the Three Broomsticks.

He looked at Aberforth. Aberforth looked back. Neither man spoke. No explanation came forward.

Eventually, Albus looked at his watch. "I must leave you," he told the two men as he spotted some guests arriving for the wedding. He began to usher the two time-wasters out of the garden and towards the school's main gates.

"One word," interrupted Aberforth, finally breaking out of his stupor. "Our Watch has indeed comprehended two auspicious persons, and we ask that you interview them this morning."

Albus rolled his eyes. He really did **not** have the time to deal with his brother at this moment in time. "Take their interview yourself and bring it me," he told his brother. "The wedding is about to start, and I am not even dressed yet!"

"It shall be done," replied Aberforth, bowing deeply, incredibly honoured that his brother had deemed him worthy of such an important task.

"Yes, yes, now you must go," Albus said, pushing his brother and his companions towards the gates. "I really must prepare."

Aberforth watched as his brother hurried across the garden disappeared into the green door. He sighed. Albus was a very important man, and didn't often have time for him: especially not after that incident with their auntie's goat.

He turned to Honeyduke. "Go and fetch Scrivenshaft from the quill shop and tell him to bring some quill and parchment to the gaol. We are now to examination these men."

"We must do this wisely," Honeyduke advised.

Aberforth nodded. "We will prove ourselves, and the Watch with this. We will make no mistakes. Go get Scrivenshaft so that he may be a disinterested witness to write down our excommunication. I will meet you at the gaol."

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	28. Chapter Twenty Seven

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 27**

Albus stood in his small Rose Garden: Severus and Remus in attendance in front of him; both wearing matching, brilliant, white robes; Sirius Black standing up with Remus; and Minerva McGonagall standing up with Severus.

And Albus was happy. For the first time in years he was happy. He had known about the two boys'… arrangement while they had still been at school, and had been pleased to learn that they had continued their liaisons once they both graduated from Hogwarts. He had been thankful that they had kept their relationship under wraps, but was saddened to discover that their closest friends were oblivious to their love.

The two boys in front of him deserved to find happiness; to find love. They had both suffered through troubling childhoods; their teenage years had not been much better. They both had had to overcome major setbacks. But here they were, about to pledge their love for one another in front of their friends; about to begin a life together; one which would include love, trust and understanding.

Albus couldn't help but smile as he looked at the two hooded men in front of him.

"Remus, you come here to marry Severus?" he asked the slight man to his left.

"No."

Severus' head jerked up as he heard Remus' answer. A whisper ran through the crowd. _No?_

Minerva chuckled. "To be married **to** him. Albus, **you** come to marry them," she laughed nervously.

"Of course, of course," Albus blushed and turned to Severus. "Severus, you come here to be married to Remus?"

"I do." The anxiety was evident in Severus voice as he answered the Headmaster. He held his arms in front of him, wringing his hands as he stood before Albus.

Albus smiled as he watched the young Slytherin. He was so boyish in his nervousness.

"If either of you know any inward impediment why you should not be conjoined, charge you, on your souls, to speak now," Albus intoned.

"Severus, do you know of any reason?" asked Remus, somewhat harshly. Albus raised an eyebrow.

"No, of course not," the Slytherin replied.

"Do you know of any reason, Remus?" Albus asked, perplexed at the werewolf's accusing tone.

"I dare say he does not," Minerva answered for her former student, giving him a strong glare. This was not the time for childish antics!

There was nothing that the boy could fear; she had seen how he had looked at Severus with such love and devotion over the past week, and how Severus gazed back. There was no reason why the wedding should not go ahead.

Remus lost it. He threw off his hood and faced Severus. "O, what men dare do! What men may do! What men daily do, not knowing what they do!" he hissed.

James, sitting among the guests, was stunned. What had gotten into Remus? He quickly glanced at the other guests: they were just as bewildered as he was. He looked back up at Remus, giving his friend his undivided attention once more.

"Ha-ha-ha!" he forced out. "He just wanted to make an objection. Ha-ha-ha." Slowly the other guests joined in with his uneasy laughter.

Remus shot a look of pure abhorrence at the guests, silencing them immediately.

"Excuse me Albus," Remus said, dismissing the Headmaster. "Minerva, acting as my betrothed's Maid of Honour, do you, on **your** honour, present him to me, as a man worthy to be called 'husband'?"

"Of course I do!" stated Minerva. She would dearly like to know **exactly** what was going through Remus' head.

"And what do I have to offer for this marriage? To this loving and faithful man?" Remus asked, his voice turning very hard.

Minerva was almost speechless. "Love and faithfulness," she replied after a short moment.

Remus finally exploded. He turned to face Severus, ripped the hood from his head and shoved him hard against Minerva. The Slytherin stumbled and fell to the ground, his hand clutching his chest, his heart racing in panic as the man he loved turned against him.

"I do not want him," Remus hissed. "He is anything **but** the figure of love, devotion and faithfulness," he continued. "Aren't you, you **slut**?"

Severus was taken aback. His cheeks coloured as he sat on the ground, looking up at his lover as the man he loved accused him of being an adulterer.

"What is the meaning of this!" shrieked Minerva, coming to stand between Remus and Severus.

"**Not** to be married," spat Remus. "Not to knit my soul to an official wanton!"

"You think he has not been faithful to you?" demanded Minerva.

"I **know** that he has not been faithful to me.

"Oh, I know what you think Minerva. You think that in his heart, Severus married me the minute I proposed! He made a fool out of all of us with his little act of love and devotion."

Severus finally found his voice. "Have I ever acted to the contrary?" he asked softly, a lone tear sliding down his face. Severus had no idea what Remus had heard or had seen or had been told. But he had no right to treat him like this!

Minerva ignored Severus' question and turned to Sirius. "Why don't you say something! Why don't you stop this foolishness," she hissed.

Sirius turned to look at Severus sprawled on the ground. "Why should I?" he answered. "I am ashamed enough that I helped Remus acquire the affection of a common whore!"

Minerva was taken aback. She took several deep breaths to calm herself. "This is a dream, this is a dream," she repeated to herself.

"This is not a dream," Sirius responded.

"I guess the wedding's off then," James murmured quietly to Lily.

Severus looked into the crowd and caught Lily's eye. Panic was evident in his own eyes. What was wrong with his fiancé?

Remus turned to Severus, who was wishing that the earth would open up and swallow him. "Get up!" he commanded.

Severus remained on the ground, staring up at his fiancé.

"I **said** get up," Remus hissed.

Minerva helped Severus get shakily to his feet.

"Tell me, Snape, where were you between 10:30 and 11:30 last night? And which man did you talk to?" the werewolf spat.

"In my chambers," Severus replied. "I was alone. I talked to no one after I retired," he continued, pulling his robes closer around his body in an effort to shield himself from Lupin's wrath.

Remus lunged forward, his fist up, ready to hit Severus. His betrothed wouldn't even _admit_ to being in the Hog's Head inn last night. He had denied it. He had stood to his face and uttered an outright lie. He didn't even try to pass off his rendezvous as some sort mission for the Order!

Sirius snapped into action, and pulled him back. "He's not worth it," he whispered into his friend's ear.

Sirius stepped in front of Remus, and addressed Minerva, for he was too disgusted by Snivellus to even **look** at the man.

"This is no honourable man," he said quietly. "I am sorry that you must hear this from us, in this manner and at this time, but I swear on my honour as a man, as a Gryffindor, and as an Auror, that he is not steadfast and true. He is not worthy to enter into the matrimonial state.

"At 10:30 last night, Remus, my brother Regulus and I saw him; heard him; **smelt** him engaged in sexual intercourse with another man on a first floor balcony at the back of the Hog's Head inn. He stood there naked, in full view of any person who might come along, engaged in acts which I can not, and will not repeat here.

"This other man spoke of the vile encounters they have had a thousand times in secret. He spoke of this… **filth's** penchant for carnal activity, his wanton ways, his reputation of excellence in these… endeavours, and the fact that he has been doing so, not only since before he enamoured my good friend with his charms, but while he was meant to be exclusive to his fiancé. In short: he has never been faithful; he is not a worthy husband for Remus."

Regulus stood from his seated position amongst the guests. "I believe that is enough, Sirius. Matters such as these should not be discussed in polite society."

He turned to face Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore. Snape was a pale as a ghost; his disbelieving eyes showed his utter shock at the false accusations. McGonagall was clutching her chest; Regulus chuckled inwardly to himself. _Ah yes, a heart-attack for the old bat, how delightful_. And Dumbledore… well his eyes had definitely lost their sparkle. Regulus quickly averted his gaze from the Headmaster; the old man always gave him the creeps. His eyes seemed to bore into one's head, as though looking for their secrets.

"As my brother stated, I also witnessed the carnal display last night. He was sober when he observed the incident and is accurate in his recollection of the evening."

Feeling all eyes of the stunned guests upon him, Regulus sat down quietly. He only wished that Rabastan had returned the previous night. Who knew where his friend had disappeared to; he would have appreciated his company, as he felt decidedly outnumbered amongst the Gryffindors.

Sirius finally stepped back and allowed Remus to speak to his betrothed. The werewolf had calmed somewhat but was still very, very upset.

"I can't believe what a fool I have been: to have believed all your professions of love; to fall for you as I have; and, not for one moment, to have questioned your motives. If only your heart was as pure as the potions your brew; as pure as your face suggests.

"How you can be so foul while acting so fair, I do not know. But I fare you well: you and your pure impiety and impious purity.

"You had set out to break me, and you have succeeded. I hope you are happy," Remus continued. "Because of you, I have vowed to never love again. I will not look upon a friendly action or word without searching for an ulterior motive.

"I **hate** you. I **never** want to see you again. Is that clear, **Snivellus**? You are nothing but a common Knockturn Alley whore!"

At that, Severus fainted.

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	29. Chapter Twenty Eight

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 28**

James rushed back towards the garden after ushering the gossiping guests away from the unconscious potions apprentice and escorting Remus and Sirius back to Gryffindor Tower to think over their actions. He had **not** been pleased with the way his friends had handled the situation.

A quiet word to Minerva or Albus would have been best, thus avoiding the public humiliation of both Remus and Snape. But to announce to the entire congregation that Snape was a Knockturn Alley whore was low: very low. Not even Snape deserved that.

James returned to the garden, still upset, carrying a glass of water and a wet washcloth. He headed straight for Lily, who was kneeling on the ground, with Snape's head in her lap.

"Here," he whispered, placing the wet cloth on Snape's forehead. "How is he?"

"Dead to the world," Lily replied. "His heart is shattered." She looked up at Albus who was comforting Minerva.

"He'd be better off dead after what he has done!" Minerva admonished. She had been greatly upset. _Why would Severus do such a thing?_

"Severus, please wake up," Lily whispered, stroking the side of his face all the while ignoring Minerva. "Please wake up."

Severus slowly opened his eyes, squinting in the brightness of a cloud-free sky. Lily helped him sit up slowly and handed him the glass of water James had brought.

"How could you!" Minerva shrieked, placing her hands on her hips staring down at Severus. "You shamed yourself! You didn't even **deny** it. Why did you agree to marry him when you could not be faithful? Why did you ask me to stand up for you, if you didn't intend for this to be a **real** marriage? How long have you taking us all for fools?"

Lily pulled Severus into a hug during Minerva's tirade. "It's ok, sweetheart," she whispered, rubbing his back in large circles as tears threatened to spill down his cheeks.

James stood from his crouched position beside Severus and Lily and turned towards Minerva. "Minerva, calm down. I know Snape. I spent seven years watching the git. I know his faults, and his failings. These accusations seem so out of character; I don't know what to think."

Lily looked up from the ground. "It is not true. It is all a lie," she said vehemently.

James looked down at the two potions apprentices on the ground. "Did you throw Severus that little party you were planning?" he asked Lily, referring to the surprise beauty treatment they had bestowed upon Severus the previous night.

Lily nodded. "But we left at ten! He wanted to get his _beauty_ sleep."

"We left at ten, and he was spotted at ten thirty," wailed Minerva, still upset about the entire incident, and still believing the worst of Severus. "He had plenty of time to floo to Hogsmeade! Would Sirius and Regulus lie? Would Remus **lie**? He who loves… loved Severus so much: why would he accuse him of such foul behaviour if it weren't true!"

Slowly, the deputy headmistress calmed down, and began to thinks about the entire situation more rationally. She had watched the boys grow up: from when they were eleven she had watched them bicker and fight each other. Had this entire romance… **affair** all been some elaborate practical joke on Severus' behalf? But he had denied meeting anyone anywhere at that time last night. Were Remus and Sirius lying? She thought back to the Whomping Willow incident. Sirius might have, but Remus loved Severus; the werewolf had been too upset for him not to have truly believed that Severus had been unfaithful. She didn't understand. Severus couldn't have been lying. Remus couldn't have been lying. So what **had** happened last night?

Albus had been observing the group quietly. During Minerva's last outburst, he began to delve into Severus' mind using Legilimency. For once, he had purposefully broken through Severus' Occlumency. His student had excelled at the art, and Albus could no longer detect that Severus was shielding his mind from view. However he knew his protégé well enough to know that he would not lay out his mind for the taking. Albus had assumed that Severus had invoked his defensive barriers, and so he had set about breaking them.

When he finally sifted through Severus' memories to the previous night, he saw the so-called 'party' the girls had thrown him and almost chuckled as he felt the memory of Severus' bikini wax. He saw that the boy had gone to bed… after taking care of a few stray hairs himself.

Severus had not left his quarters that night at all. In fact, he had retired at midnight, after nervously checking and rechecking his preparations for the wedding.

Albus took one more look around Severus' mind and failed to see any sign of another lover, let alone lovers. As far as the Headmaster could tell Remus had been Severus' first and only.

Albus finally stepped forward. "Listen to me," he said quietly. "Severus did not, not even once, leave his quarters last night. He did not meet with anyone, male or female at the Hog's Head inn. He was telling the truth when he denied speaking to anyone at the time he was apparently seen on the balcony."

"How can three men be mistaken? Regulus, himself, attested to the fact they were all sober," Minerva replied. She was still quite upset at Severus.

Albus turned to address Severus. "Who is the man that they accuse you of… engaging with?" he asked.

"I don't know," Severus quietly replied. "Black knows. As does Remus. But I have no idea."

"I believe you," Albus said kindly.

James looked down at Severus. "Remus and Sirius wouldn't lie. Not about something like this. They **believed** what they were saying… but Regulus… I have a bad feeling about him. He could not have changed terribly much since we were at school. He hates his brother, why would he endorse Sirius' story? I think he knows more about this incident than he is letting on," James declared.

Albus nodded. "I agree. That boy is hiding something: something relevant. He would not meet my eyes during the ceremony."

"Do you think, perhaps he has tricked Sirius and Remus into believing that Severus was unfaithful?" asked Minerva, hope in her eyes.

"I believe that is precisely what has happened," Albus replied. "How and why, however, I know not."

The Headmaster looked down at Severus, sitting on the ground. "Remus still loves you," he told the distraught boy. "But he won't believe that he **didn't** see you without proof. He and Sirius saw you, or a person who looks very much like you, last night and that was proof enough. Nothing we can say will change their minds, or persuade them that they **didn't** see you."

Albus levitated three of the chairs from across the garden, and bid Minerva and James to take a seat as he sat down on one himself. He leant forward until he could whisper to his friends as they huddled in the circle.

"Remus and Sirius have left Severus, claiming that they don't care if he lives or dies. Of course, they do care – well Remus is heartbroken and very angry, and Sirius currently wants to throttle him, but I'm certain that neither of them truly want to see Severus dead. What we'll do is hide him in the castle somewhere. Maybe move him up to one of the Hufflepuff dorms.

"We will then tell everyone that Severus has died; that he committed suicide over the incident. We will go through the motions of a funeral, and we will burn his 'body' over the lake."

"Why?" asked Minerva. "This is ludicrous! You won't achieve anything except heartache and pain."

Albus smiled and leaned closer to the group. "Oh I agree: it will turn Remus' anger into remorse; but that is not why I have suggested this course of action.

"Severus' reputation was slain the instant he was accused. To anyone who hears the story, **he** has wronged his betrothed. If he were to 'die', he becomes the innocent: the falsely accused. Mortified beyond belief, he took his life.

"The charges Remus and Sirius laid against him are scandalous, and as such, he will never again be welcomed into polite society. For him to be mourned, pitied and excused as an **innocent**, will be favourable to his reputation, for it will prove his innocence. If he were guilty of the crimes he was accused of, then he would not care enough to take his own life.

"But there is another benefit of this action. When the instigators of this plot hear of Severus' death, hear that he **died** because of their trickery, they will show themselves." Albus held his hands up to stop the protest on the lips of his companions. "I don't believe they will confess. But they will show themselves by some action or some word. A man whose heart is heavy with guilt does not rest easily."

Severus slowly shook his head. He had been sitting, cradled in Lily's arms as Albus spoke. "I can't do that to Remus," he whispered.

Albus smiled kindly at the young Slytherin. "At the moment, he wishes that you were dead. He doesn't fully want this, but he wants the hurt to go away. When he hears that you are dead, when he sees us acting as though you are dead, he will realise **just** how much he loves you. **Just** how much he cares for you. You will consume his every thought, his every word, his every action.

"By the time the **real** villain shows himself and you are able to come out of hiding, he would have forgotten what he saw last night, and will be thankful that you are still alive."

James turned to Severus. "I think you should do what Albus asks," he told his one time enemy. "Even though Remus and Sirius are my best friends, I think you should fake your own death, draw the culprit out. I will help you anyway I can, and I will not say a word to either of them."

All eyes turned to Severus. He was still very distressed by Remus' accusations. Not that he cared about his reputation. No, all he wanted to do was go back to three days ago when everything was brilliant between the two of them. But now, the love of his life hated his guts.

Eventually Severus nodded. If, perhaps, he had been thinking clearly he would have objected. But as it was, he was happy to let Albus do all his thinking for him. So he agreed, wishing that his suicide would not be a rouse: all he wanted to do now was crawl into a hole and die.

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	30. Chapter Twenty Nine

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

This is the R-rated version of a NC-17 story.

This chapter has been edited in accordance with the terms of service.

To read the NC-17 version of this chapter, visit my livejournal: http :www . livejournal . com / users / goblet / . html

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> 

**Chapter 29**

Aberforth was waiting in the small building which housed the Hogsmeade gaol. The gaol was made of cinderblocks and comprised of two cells, which could accommodate two prisoners each; a small interview room; and a reception area. There was no bathroom in the building as each small cell came complete with a stainless steel sink and toilet bowl.

The previous night Aberforth had locked one brother in each cell, separating them until he could find someone to interrogate them. He had left his auntie's pet goat in the gaol to help guard the prisoners and the Citizens' Watch had taken turns watching over the prisoners: each man staying with them for two hours at a time. This, of course, involved sleeping on one of the benches in the corridor outside the cells, while pretending to keep one eye open and on the two villains.

Now all three members of the Watch were in attendance, and the goat was tucked up in bed. Together Dervish and Banges had entered the cells and woken the prisoners with a large bucket of icy water. Spluttering and still half asleep, they had dragged first Rodolphus and then Rabastan to the front of the cell, and lashed them to the front bars in preparation for the examination.

Zonko had brought along hot tea for both men, and had slipped a weak truth serum into it. The truth serum was one of the ingredients for part of his collection of gags and jokes. It wasn't illegal in the true sense of the word as its victims knew straight away that they had been 'pranked' and it wore off within twenty minutes of being administered without any need for an antidote. Zonko, himself had a small catalogue of novelties which used the serum.

Aberforth was anxiously pacing the hallway while the Watch sat on a bench guarding the drugged prisoners when the door burst open and Honeyduke bustled in, followed by a rather dour-looking Scrivenshaft.

Ebenezer Scrivenshaft was a tall, gaunt man with a hawkish nose, a tight mouth and long, straight, silver hair. He was clean shaven and wore traditional wizarding robes in a dark burgundy. Ebenezer, in additional to owning a quill shop in the High Street, was the town's Historian and Official Record Keeper.

The man was not a great fan of Aberforth's, the Innkeeper's grammar being as it was, but Ebenezer was polite to all and treated everyone with respect, regardless of their position, and in direct opposition to his physical appearance.

"Is our whole disassembly appeared?" Aberforth asked his second in command.

Honeyduke nodded, disappearing into the interview room and returning with a chair and table for Ebenezer.

Ebenezer made himself comfortable and arranged his parchment and inks. He dipped a peacock-feather quill into some brilliant blue ink before turning to Aberforth. "Who are the malefactors?" he asked.

Aberforth smiled. "That am I, and my partner, Honeyduke."

Honeyduke nodded. "No, that's right," he added. "We are going to examine this exhibition."

Ebenezer sighed and closed his eyes. How Dumbledore and Honeyduke had been elected to coordinate the Watch was a mystery to him. "Who are the **offenders** that are to be examined? They must answer to the Head of the Watch," he explained. It was going to be a long morning.

"They must answer to me!" Aberforth replied. He spun around to look at the prisoners. In all of the excitement of last night, he had forgotten to ask the two brothers their names.

He sidled up to Rodolphus. "What is your name?" he asked.

Rodolphus, under the effects of the truth serum, answered truthfully. "Rodolphus LeStrange."

"Write down _Rodolphus LeStrange_," Aberforth instructed Ebenezer. He danced over to Rabastan. "And yours?"

"I am a gentleman, and my name is also LeStrange. Rabastan LeStrange."

"Write down, Master Gentleman Rabastan LeStrange," Aberforth instructed.

He turned back and faced the prisoners again. "Do you serve God?"

The brothers looked at each other, amused by the question. Instead of verbally answering, Rodolphus nodded, thus circumventing the truth serum. Rabastan followed his lead.

Aberforth turned back to Ebenezer. "Write that down, that they serve God. And write God first, for God defend but God should go before such villains!"

The Watch Coordinator turned back to the LeStrange brothers. "It is proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How do you answer for yourselves?"

Rabastan's eyes narrowed as he tried to interpret what the bumbling idiot was trying to say. "We are not," he replied, grinning as he was able to lie. Well, perhaps not lie, in **his** humble opinion he was not a false rogue: he **was** a rogue.

Aberforth huffed and turned to Rodolphus. "I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves."

"I say to you, sir, that we are not," Rodolphus replied, smiling. He could feel the truth serum wearing off, and if the interview continued like this they were going to be home free.

Exasperated, Aberforth turned to Ebenezer. "Have you writ that down? That they are not false knaves?" he asked.

Ebenezer sighed. This so-called interrogation had gone on for far too long. "Aberforth, this is not the way to conduct an examination: you must call forth the Watch that are their accusers."

Aberforth nodded. "Of course, that's the deftest way. Let the Watch come forth. I charge you, in the Light's name, accuse these men."

Zonko stepped forward and pointed at Rodolphus. "That man there said that Regulus Black is a villain."

"Write down 'Regulus Black is a villain'," instructed Aberforth.

"But sir –" Rodolphus began to speak.

"Shhhhhhh!" Aberforth hissed at him. "I don't like the look of you, now be quiet!"

Ebenezer ignored the exchange, instead addressing a question to the Watch. "What else did you hear him say?"

"He spoke of how Regulus Black had promised him one of his grandfather's books for defiling the reputation of Severus Snape," Dervish volunteered.

"Burglary in the true sense of the word!" Aberforth exclaimed, glaring at the two men. Honeyduke nodded in agreement.

Ebenezer wrote down the evidence. "What else?" he asked.

Banges stepped forward. "And that Mr Lupin, upon seeing him engaged in sexual relations with his betrothed – in actual fact his lover disguised through the use of Polyjuice to look like Mr Snape - and hearing about his presumably disreputable and… scandalous past, would, this morning, leave him at the altar after telling the congregation what he had seen that night."

"O villain! You will be condemned into everlasting redemption for this!" exclaimed Aberforth, waving his fist in Rodolphus' face.

Scrivenshaft ignored the outburst and finished writing his report, with the Watch adding a few extra details here and there. "Anything else?" he asked.

Zonko shook his head.

The Record Keeper stood and set his parchments to dry. He turned to the prisoners. "These accusations are more than you can deny," he told them.

"I have no desire or need to listen to your defence. Regulus Black, after a search of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade, is nowhere to be found.

"Severus Snape was, this morning, in this manner accused and in this manner refused by his betrothed. And as a direct result of this treachery, as a direct result of his betrothed turning against him, Mr Snape has taken his own life."

The members of the Citizens' Watch gasped. They hadn't realised what had been going on up at the school: they could have prevented the entire tragedy if only they had acted sooner!

The LeStrange brothers looked at each other in dismay. They had **never**, **never** meant for Severus to kill himself. Rodolphus, for one, quite liked the younger man. His face dropped as he thought about how _You-Know-Who_ was going to react. The Dark Lord had had his eye on Snape for a while. He wanted him as a Death Eater.

Ebenezer turned to Aberforth. "Bind these men in shackles, tie a cannonball to their ankles and take them to your brother at Hogwarts. I will proceed ahead of you and show him their examination."

Aberforth agreed. "Let them be opinioned," he announced to the Watch.

"Pinioned, the word is _pinioned_," muttered the Record Keeper as he gathered his things. "I shall be off," he announced as he left the building.

Aberforth waved goodbye before attempting to help Zonko shackle Rabastan's hands and feet.

"Get off me, you coxcomb!" Rabastan screamed at the Innkeeper.

Aberforth jumped back as though stung. "Where is Scrivenshaft?" he demanded. "Let him write down that I, Albus Dumbledore's brother, am a coxcomb."

Aberforth gestured at Honeyduke, who had just attached a cannonball to Rodolphus' foot. "Come bind him," he instructed. He turned back to Rabastan "You naughty varlet."

"You are an **ass**," screamed Rabastan as he was put into irons. "YOU ARE AN **ASS**!"

Aberforth watched as Honeyduke slapped a gag on the foul-mouthed prisoner. "Do you not suspect my place? Do you not suspect my years? O that Scrivenshaft were here to write me down an ass!"

The Innkeeper turned to the Watch. "Remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass."

He turned once more to Rabastan. "No, you villain, you are full of piety, as shall be proved upon you by good witness. I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer of the Watch, and, which is more, a business owner, and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Hogsmeade…" at this Aberforth showed a little leg. "… And one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every thing handsome about him."

"Bring him away! Bring him away!" he cried to the Watch. "O that I had been writ down an ass," he sulked.

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Feedback very welcome!


	31. Chapter Thirty

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 30**

Severus sat in an empty dormitory in the Hufflepuff residences. He was heart-broken; he felt as though every bone in his body had been crushed, every muscle ripped from its tendons.

His chest hurt.

It felt as though there was an elephant sitting on his ribcage, it hurt so much.

Throwing himself down to lie down on one of the beds, Severus lay sprawled on the blankets. He didn't want to eat the sandwiches Minerva had sent up. He didn't want to read any of his potion texts. He didn't want to brew any potions.

He couldn't help but revisit the morning's events over and over again in his mind.

_…Not to knit my soul to an official wanton…_

_…I am ashamed enough that I helped Remus acquire the affection of a common whore…_

_…He is anything **but** the figure of love, devotion and faithfulness…_

_…He is not worthy to enter into the matrimonial state…_

_…I saw him; heard him; **smelt** him engaged in sexual intercourse with another man…_

_…This other man spoke of the vile encounters they have had a thousand times in secret…_

_…I fare you well: you and your pure impiety and impious purity…_

_…I **hate** you. I **never** want to see you again. Is that clear, **Snivellus**? You are nothing but a common Knockturn Alley whore!_

He couldn't understand why Remus and Sirius had acted this way. If they had, indeed, seen what they alleged they saw the previous night, why had they not mentioned anything to him? Why had they not returned to his chambers immediately and questioned him? Why did they think to accuse him at what was meant to be his wedding? Why did Remus reject him so publicly?

As Severus lay there, sobbing, his chest so tight it ached, he knew the answer: Remus wanted nothing more to do with him. Nothing. Ever Again. That was why he had been publicly humiliated. That was why he had been left at the altar.

Severus knew that there was nothing that he could say or do or prove that would ever change that.

There was naught he could do to win back his lover. The man he loved. The man he **used** to love. No – the man he **still** loved.

But part of him could not comprehend how Remus could have believed him capable of this. Why had his fiancé automatically assumed that Severus was guilty? Did he not know Severus well enough by now to realise that Severus would never, ever do anything like that?

Did he not **know** that he was Severus' one and only? That Severus had lost his virginity to him? That Severus would never cheat?

He **ought** to have known that! Severus had even broken up with him because he would not take their relationship to the next level.

_How can Remus not have known that I love him, with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul?_

Severus could not believe that Remus could have forgotten that: but if he **knew** that, **believed** that then he could **not** have thought that Severus would cheat on him, that Severus had been cheating on him, that Severus was a _Knockturn Alley Whore_.

Severus cried out in pain. "**WHY?**" he screamed to the heavens. "**WHY? Why?** Why?" he mumbled into his pillow as tears began to flow freely.

Later that afternoon, Severus was startled by a large brown falcon landing on his stomach. Recognising the falcon as Wilkes' messenger bird, he hastily wiped the tears away from his eyes with the cuff of his robes, sat up, and detached the scrolls of parchment from the bird's leg.

Before opening the scroll, Severus offered the falcon the sandwiches Minerva had sent up to his room earlier. As the bird devoured the turkey breast filling, Severus broke open the seal on the scroll and unrolled the two pieces of parchment which sprang open.

Putting Remus' betrayal out of his mind as much as he could at the moment, Severus smoothed out the first parchment and began to read.

30 June 1979

Severus,

I am writing to you to congratulate you on the successful completion of your Potions Apprenticeship, and your achievement of the qualification of Master of Potions.

Your accreditation for this level of competency has been registered with the Ministry of Magic, and your certificates and registration papers will be forwarded to you via registered owl once the paperwork has been processed (i.e. when the ministry monkeys get their arses into gear). In the interim, please find enclosed a copy of your application for registration.

I would like to take the opportunity to compliment your skills as a true Potions Master. I knew, from the moment I first saw you brew a potion, that you had the makings of a true Master. Your work to date has been outstanding, and your diligence: excellent. As such I would, at this time, like to offer you a contract of employment with me, in my laboratory.

Miss Evans, has not, yet, achieved the status of Potions Master and as such I would appreciate your discretion on this matter, and any arrangement that we may come to in the future.

This letter also serves another purpose. Your superb work aptitude and your refreshing views on our current government and political climate, has brought you to the attention of one of my close friends. He would like to meet you to discuss with you your ideas on the future of the wizarding race.

I, personally, believe that you have many interests in common, and would benefit from each other's respective talents. I have mentioned to him your recent experimentations with truth serums and the like, and he is very interested in what you have discovered.

If you would care to meet with me and my friend, please accept my invitation to dinner this evening at my home at seven o'clock. Again, I would ask for discretion in this matter, as I do not care for Miss Evans to get her knickers in a knot.

You are under no obligation to attend this evening, I only ask that you reply via return owl your acceptance or declination of this invitation.

Congratulations, once again, upon attaining your Masters and I hope to dine with you this evening.

Nero Wilkes  
Potions Master

Severus quickly glanced at the second parchment, which was a copy of his application for registration.

If it had been any day, other than today: the day his heart had been shattered, Severus would have felt happiness at achieving his Masters and nervousness at being asked to meet, and have dinner with, Wilkes and his associate. Instead, he felt numb: neither happy, nor nervous, nor pleased, nor scared, but numb.

Knowing that Wilkes was awaiting his response, Severus rummaged through his bag for a scroll of parchment and a quill. Hastily, he wrote a letter of reply to his former Master.

30 June 1979

Nero,

I am delighted and surprised to learn that you have deemed me qualified enough to be deemed a Potions Master. I thank you for your commendation of my skills to the Ministry of Magic, and I hope that I can make you proud.

With regards to your invitation for me to visit your home this evening, I am most humbled and honoured to accept your kind invitation for dinner at seven o'clock. I look forward to meeting your friend, and am curious as to how we can work together to make the wizarding world a better place to live.

Yours truly,

Severus Snape

Severus re-read his letter, and after making a minor grammatical change, sealed the scroll and attached it to the falcon's leg. In a flurry of wings, the bird took off and flew out of the window in the direction of Wilkes Manor, leaving Severus alone, once more, in the Hufflepuff dorms.

He sat, brooding, for several minutes, before reaching for another scroll of parchment and dipping his quill into his inkwell once more.

30 June 1979

Minerva and Lily (and Albus, as I presume you will soon be reading this as well),

Please do not be alarmed when you find me departed. I have not lost my head or done anything foolish. I am not in any immediate danger. Do **not** try to contact me.

I have been invited to Wilkes Manor for dinner this evening. I do not expect to return: at least not for a few days. I have reason to believe that the Dark Lord will also be in attendance, and that he wishes to discuss certain matters with me, more intimately.

Please find attached my last Will and Testament, to be executed precisely as per my wishes, should anything adverse should occur.

Also attached is a letter to Remus, which I would appreciate you forcing him to read if I do not return. I suggest restraining him with a set of Filch's shackles and reading my epistle aloud to him if he proves to be stubborn.

I will be in touch when it is safe to do so.

Take care,

S

PS You are now speaking to the youngest Potions Master on record. You both owe me five galleons.

While the ink dried on Severus' letter, he reached for a fresh sheet of parchment. He pondered long and hard, and after he had composed himself and ordered himself to write logically and rationally, Severus began to compose a letter to Remus.

30 June 1979

My Remus,

As I leave you, I find that I need to speak with you regarding the accusations you levelled against me at what should have been our bonding ceremony.

There is no doubt in my mind that you do not wish to communicate with me at this time, and, as such, I have entrusted this letter to Minerva and Lily, with instructions to ensure that you are made aware of my feelings.

I feel that it is essential that you know that you hurt me terribly today, accusing me of crimes we _both_ know I would never commit. Yet, in spite of your behaviour, **I still love you**.

For many years now, I have wanted to formalise our relationship; I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Nonetheless, as you are reading this letter, you may safely assume that that will not be occurring, as I am no longer with you.

I admit that I do not understand **why** you did what you did, but I do concede it was done in anger and confusion, and that you may not have been thinking coherently. That granted; I still feel betrayed, hurt, angry and confused. It never crossed my mind that you would ever do anything like that to me. I would have assumed that, at the very least, you would come to me personally with your concerns. Not humiliate me in front of our friends.

For the record: you were my first, and you were my only: in both heart and body. I never cheated on you. I never felt the need to even look at another. I enjoyed our years together. I love you from the bottom of my heart.

And I forgive you, Remus.

Goodbye, my love,

Your Severus.

Wiping away more tears, Severus pulled out a shrunken version of his Will. With a tap of his wand, he made a full-sized copy and attached it, along with the letter he had written to Remus, to his scroll for Minerva and Lily. He sealed his correspondence and set it on the table beside his mangled sandwiches

Severus sat, staring at the scrolls, as he composed himself again. When the crying had lessened to hiccups, he gathered a fresh set of black robes from his bag and headed to the showers to prepare for the night ahead.

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	32. Chapter Thirty One

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 31**

While the LeStrange brothers were being 'examined' (in short: while they were still locked in their cells, trying to ignore the Citizens' Watch eating lunch), and with Severus safely concealed in the Hufflepuff dorms, James awaited Albus' return from his excursion to Hogsmeade to spread rumours of Snape's suicide.

Once Albus returned, James helped him create an appropriate mess at the foot of the Astronomy Tower. When the area looked as though a body had fallen and subsequently been removed, James headed down to the dungeons to see how Lily was faring.

She had felt as though she could no longer stay in Gryffindor Tower after the confrontation earlier that morning, so when Remus and Sirius had snuck down to the kitchens to get some food, James had helped her moved her things into the dungeons.

Walking through the dungeon's halls, James found Lily huddled in a small alcove in the same corridor as the Potions lab. She was hugging her knees to her chest and crying softly.

"Hey," he whispered, sitting down next to Lily and pulling her into his lap. "Have you been crying all day?"

The potions apprentice snivelled and nodded. "Yes, and I'll probably cry for a little longer," she sobbed, crying into James' shirt.

"Please don't cry," James said, wrapping his arms around Lily's slight form. "I hate it when girls cry."

"I want to cry," Lily mumbled. "I **need** to cry."

"Severus was very much wronged," James whispered, patting her back, trying to comfort his… friend. "I believe that he has done nothing wrong."

"I wish someone would stand up for him," Lily murmured. "He can't defend himself. He needs a friend to stand up to those three… those three… **scoundrels**!" Lily saw red as she thought of the accusations Remus, Sirius and Regulus had laid against her best friend.

"Is there no way to stand up for him?" asked James gently, trying to calm Lily down.

"A very even way, but no such friend," replied Lily, lifting her head from James' shoulder.

"May a man do it?"

Lily nodded. "It is a man's duty, but not yours."

James smiled and tightened his grip on Lily. Perhaps he should try to take her mind off Severus. "You know, I love nothing in this world as much as I love you. Isn't that strange?"

Lily allowed herself a small smile. "No stranger than the events this morning." Of course the news that James loved her was not a surprise for Lily. She had known all week that he loved her, thanks to her eavesdropping on Severus and Arabella.

"If it was possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you, then don't believe me, even though I do not lie. I confess nothing, and yet I deny nothing." Lily burrowed into James' shirt once more. "This really is not the time to be talking about this, not after this morning… I am so sorry for Severus," she admitted.

James smiled. "You love me," he teased, trying to keep Lily's thoughts away from Severus' state of affairs. He knew the Headmaster had the situation under control.

Lily blushed crimson. "Don't swear on your words. You may have to eat them."

"Nonsense!" James exclaimed. "I swear that you love me, and I will make those who say that I don't love you eat their own words."

"Won't you have to eat your own words then?" asked Lily, sniffling.

"What, without any tomato sauce? Of course not. I swear: I love you."

"Merlin…" Lily swore; she hadn't expected him to come right out and say it.

"What?" asked James; maybe he shouldn't have blurted that out while she was so upset over Severus.

Lily laughed softly. "I was about to tell you that I love you," she said quietly.

"With all your heart?" James asked, his own heart soaring.

"I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest."

James kissed Lily lightly on the forehead. "What is it that you want me to do to help Snape?" he asked, knowing that Lily may now ask of him, what she hadn't dared earlier.

Lily's voice grew cold. "Kill Remus."

James' mouth dropped open. He was stunned. _Kill Remus?_ "I don't think so," he responded after a moment.

"Bloody typical," Lily hissed, pushing herself up, out of James' lap.

"Lily, wait." James reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Let me go. You profess your love to me and then you refuse to challenge Lupin to a duel. You don't love me. Let me go!"

"Lily –"

"Let me **go**!"

"Can we at least be friends?"

Lily looked at him, bewildered. "You think being friends with me is going to be easier than fighting my enemy?" she asked him.

"Is Remus your enemy?"

"Did he, or did he not just slander, scorn and dishonour my **best friend**? Did he not just, at their **wedding**, **publicly** accuse him of sleeping around? Did he not, with unmitigated rancour just accuse him of being a Knockturn Alley whore?

"If I was a **man** I would challenge him to a duel myself!"

"Hear me, Lily –" James tried to interrupt, but Lily was in the middle of one of her spiels.

"Who has sex on a balcony in full view of an entire village? Severus is so shy he never even **swam in the lake** while we were at school!"

"Lily –"

"Sweet, sweet Severus. He has been wronged, he has been slandered. He is undone."

"Lil-"

"Bloody Black and Bloody Lupin! If I were a man, I would challenge them **both** to a duel to the death! But men aren't men anymore. They are all talk, no action. All talk. They will tell a lie and then **swear** it upon their **honour**! Bloody men!"

Lily took another deep breath. James decided not to try to interrupt her this time, and braced himself for another tongue-lashing.

But Lily did not continue on her tirade: instead, she crumpled to the floor, devastated.

James knelt beside her, and drew her close. He wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her temple, as she tried to control her breathing.

"Do you think in your very soul that Remus has wronged Severus?" he asked quietly.

Lily nodded. "Yes, I am as sure of that as I am sure that I have thoughts and that I have a soul."

James kissed her forehead again. "That is all I need to hear. I will do your bidding. I will challenge Remus to a duel to the death. By my hand Remus will be held accountable. Go, comfort Severus. I will tell the others that he is dead."

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	33. Chapter Thirty Two

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 32**

Severus walked the short distance from the edge of Wilkes' apparition barriers to the Potions Master's home. While he was in residence at the house, Severus was welcome to come and go as he pleased, however, as he was no longer an apprentice to the Potions Master and had been specifically invited to dinner on this occasion, he did not think it prudent to take liberties, and as such knocked on the front door, rapping twice.

The door swung open, and Severus was surprised to find himself greeted by the Potions Master himself, and not one of the Wilkes Manor house-elves.

Nero Wilkes was a large, wiry Irish man. His thinning red hair was cut in a short, neat style, as was his closely clipped beard and moustache. Everything about the man exuded supremacy, success and power. Wilkes was well known in wizarding circles for not only his birthright, but also his expert potion brewing skills. He was also known to the Order for his remarkable interest (and skills) in the Dark Arts, and his views on Wizarding supremacy.

The Potions Master ushered Severus in, relieving him of his cloak and a bottle of red wine which he had brought along with him.

"I hope that is acceptable," Severus told his teacher. "I wasn't sure if you were serving fish or meat tonight."

Wilkes examined the bottle, and smiled. "Of course it is acceptable. A good bottle of wine is always acceptable."

After hanging Severus' cloak in a cupboard in the lobby, Wilkes led Severus into the library, where a man was sitting, reading from a large tome.

Wilkes paused briefly to bow as he entered the room. "May I introduce Severus Snape?" he announced to the stranger.

The man glanced up and looked up at Severus. He was a man with no distinctive characteristics with which to describe him. He looked to be middle-aged, around sixty, but could easily be older, or younger. He was neither tall nor short, but of average height. He was neither thin nor overweight, but of average weight. He had a head of dark brown, wavy hair which was greying at the temples. His other facial features were unremarkable: his eyes: brown; his nose: average; his lips… well he had lips. He had no moles, no warts and no scars. All in all a man you would have trouble describing to an Auror.

Severus remembered the man as one of Wilkes' special guests. He had often visited the Manor, sometimes staying for dinner, sometimes holing himself up in the library with Wilkes, sometimes staying for days on end, and sometimes not staying very long at all, appearing only to collect a potion, before vanishing again.

Neither he, nor Lily, had ever been introduced to the man. Not that Lily particularly wanted to be introduced to the stranger. They had both been ordered not to bother any of Wilkes' guests, but Lily was adamant that this man, in particular, was pure evil and had taken to hiding from him whenever he came to visit. Severus on the other hand, had had numerous conversations with the stranger over the months, ranging from the weather, to the latest Quidditch round, to several enlightening discussions on the Ministry of Magic (a complete bunch of monkeys), Muggles (they were very good at entertaining monkeys), and _He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named_ (a person who used Muggles to distract monkeys while he built a zoo).

During their discussions, the stranger had always played the devil's advocate, sometimes siding with 'The Dark' opinion (e.g. the Minister of Magic would look better with a magically enhanced red backside), and sometimes siding with 'The Light' opinion (e.g. Muggles were harmless creatures). Severus had always felt that he was being tested, so he had stuck strictly to what, he hoped, was the Dark Lord's perspective on things during their conversations.

Funnily enough, throughout the months he had spoken with the stranger, he was never introduced to him, and never learnt his name. He and Lily had taken to calling him 'the Robert Vaughn look alike' as he had reminded Lily of an older version of a Muggle actor she had seen on television.

Wilkes nudged Severus out of his thoughts. "Severus, you of course recognise the Dark Lord?"

* * *

Severus quietly sat watching one of the house-elves take away the remains of the chocolate marble cheesecake that had been served as dessert. Remus' actions that morning, and the shock that he had not only **met** but conversed with the Dark Lord for **months**, had left him with very little appetite. He had only managed to eat a small amount of his dinner, and two bites of his cheesecake, a dessert he **loved**.

"Nervous, Severus?" the Dark Lord asked.

Severus looked back at _You-Know-Who_ from where he was staring off into space. "Um, er, yes, sir…," he stuttered as he automatically began to mentally reinforce his Occlumency.

Voldemort chuckled. "Nero tells me that you are quite proficient in your work; coming from Nero that is high praise."

The young man coloured. "Thank you, sir, I enjoy brewing potions."

"He also tells me that you have done much research on truth serums."

Severus nodded, thankful that the Dark Lord had not, yet, turned the conversation towards Wizard-Muggle relations.

Like a true Potions Master, Severus took the opportunity to speak about something that he had been devoted to for the past two years. "I found that with the current truth serums available at the present time, the serum influences only the words spoken, that is, it ensures that they will be truthful words. I found this a considerable flaw, with many persons opting to respond to interrogation through actions rather than through words to circumvent the influence of the serum.

"I have been developing a stronger and, I dare say, better serum which incorporates the Imperious Curse into the brewing process. It forces the persons under its control to not only answer questions put to them, but also answer truthfully through any means of communication they may wish to employ."

The Dark Lord smiled. "You are very passionate about your work," he said. "May I see this new potion?" he asked.

Severus looked over to Wilkes for instruction, to find the Potions Master pulling out a vial of clear blue liquid and handing it to his Lord.

Voldemort uncapped the vial and cautiously smelt the contents. "Odourless," he stated. "Tasteless?"

"Yes sir." Severus smiled briefly as his creation was inspected.

"It is also colourless, but I felt that it may have been misconstrued as water if it remained so. The blue dye evaporates when it comes into contact with oxygen."

"Does it have a name?"

"I have called it Veritaserum," Severus answered.

"I have written several papers on its development. They have been published in Potion Journals throughout the British Isles. It is by no means a clandestine endeavour, sir. It was the focus of my Masters research," Severus explained, clarifying to the Dark Lord that the potion was known to the Ministry, and could not be used as a 'secret weapon'.

"I would like to see a demonstration," the Dark Lord announced.

Lord Voldemort had, of course, already seen several working demonstrations of the serum. He had first read about it in one of the Potion Journals which had published several of Severus' papers. He had also been very angry that Nero had not thought it necessary to keep him abreast of the research his apprentice had conducted. As part of his punishment, Wilkes obtained several vials of the potion, with which he and the Dark Lord had performed countless 'experiments'. The truth serum did everything Snape claimed it could do.

He passed the vial to Severus, and smiled wickedly. "I'm sure a young gentleman like yourself has nothing to hide." Voldemort chucked as Severus blushed. "I promise I won't ask you how you lost your virginity," he added. The Dark Lord had heard of the Slytherin boy's engagement to his peer.

Severus swallowed hard and placed three drops of the liquid under his tongue. He closed his eyes for the short moment that the potion took to begin working. Even though he had been closely guarding his secrets and his allegiance all evening, he knew he couldn't hide from his Veritaserum. He had made it to be unstoppable: the most powerful truth serum known to wizards. In a few short moments, the Dark Lord would know that he was a spy, and would kill him.

He thought back to Remus, the man he loved. The man he lost through no fault of his own. Remus would never take him back. He had said so at the ceremony. Severus had nothing left to lose.

Severus composed himself, and took a deep breath, before finally opening his eyes. He looked up at the Dark Lord, ready to be found out as a turncoat.

"What's your name?" Voldemort asked.

"Severus Xaviour Snape," Severus responded.

Voldemort smiled. "What was your favourite class at school?"

"Advanced Potions."

Severus swallowed. The choker around his neck had tightened, and had grown warm. The sensation was not entirely unpleasant, but it was uncomfortable in the situation he was currently in. He did **not** need to be reminded of Remus' engagement present while he was being interrogated by the Dark Lord! He didn't care if it was helping guard against the Legilimency or Dark Potions; if he kept thinking about it, the Dark Lord was bound to notice.

_Dark Potions! It helped against Dark Potions!_ Severus decided to try to find out if the choker had neutralised the truth serum he had swallowed.

"Who was your favourite professor at school?"

Severus panicked for a moment. He couldn't possibly tell the Dark Lord that Minerva McGonagall had been his favourite professor! He crossed his fingers and tried to lie.

"Professor Flitwick," Severus responded. He **was** able to lie!

"We were able to transfigure him into a tomato a total of 173 times in our fifth year. We never once got a detention," he clarified.

Voldemort suppressed a small grin. "What do you think of Miss Evans?" he asked.

"She's a know-it-all, goody-two shoes, mud-blood," Severus responded, with just the right amount of disgust in his voice. "She should have never been allowed to study at Hogwarts."

The Dark Lord sat back in his chair. "I heard, from one of my sources, that you were engaged to be married today: engaged to a half-blooded Gryffindor. My source claims that he saved you from this marriage, by fooling the half-blood into thinking that your affections lay elsewhere."

Voldemort sat forward, and leaned towards Severus. "Why were you marrying a half-blooded Gryffindor?" he asked.

Severus didn't even need to think before he reverted to his cover story, albeit the one he had prepared if ever asked about his relationship with Lily. As he began to speak, he began to lead the Dark Lord through a carefully rehearsed journey through his mind.

"I was bored, screwing a Gryffindor was good entertainment, and I was having a little fun. It began with sex: he was a convenient receptacle, and rather talented pitching as well.

"Then I realised that he was rather close to the Headmaster, the unofficial 'leader' of the resistance. This, in turn, proved to be advantageous, not only for my own concerns, but also some matters which were related rather closely to Master Wilkes," Severus paused to allow the Dark Lord to comprehend implications of his situation.

As a rule, Voldemort did not approve of his followers marrying unsuitable people. Severus had not only tried to marry a wizard who was not a pure-blood, but also a member of the same sex. This was not in the Dark Lord's grand scheme. He wanted his followers to marry pure-blooded members of the opposite sex, and create many more new pure-blooded children. He didn't care so much if they had someone else on the side, as Rodolphus did, as long as they provided him with more pure-bloods.

Severus, however, was a special case. Not only was he a very competent potion brewer, he had also secured the trust of an individual close to Albus Dumbledore. Voldemort didn't care that the person was male, or a half-blood, or even a Flobberworm for that matter. If Snape played his cards right, he could be the closest mole they had to Dumbledore.

Voldemort nodded, indicating that he accepted and even commended Severus' efforts. "Nero has told me of your… information being rather advantageous to him. You were prepared to marry a half-blood to get closer to Dumbledore?"

Severus nodded, thanking every deity he knew that the Dark Lord was buying his story.

"Where do your loyalties lie?" Voldemort asked, probing Severus' brain. He had the boy under the most powerful truth serum that he had ever witnessed and was raping his mind using Legilimency.

Severus bowed his head, as a sign of respect for the Dark Lord, but also effectively breaking eye contact and mind contact with him. "With you, my Lord. Your vision for the future of the Wizarding kind is ideal. It is exactly how Salazar Slytherin himself would have envisaged the world in which we live."

Voldemort grinned. In front of him sat a brilliant potions master, a man **excellently** positioned to spy on the elder Dumbledore brother. All he had to do was reel him in. "Severus, will you join me? Will you pledge your allegiance and your loyalty to me?"

Severus nodded. Why not? Becoming a spy for the cause would give the Order the upper hand. And give him something to live for. Without Remus he was nobody. As a spy, he was a useful nobody.

"Do you promise to serve me, and only me?"

Severus nodded again.

"Do you promise to work for the eradication of Muggles, Mud-bloods and Muggle-lovers?"

Severus nodded once more.

"Then join me, my child, and we will rule the world!"

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	34. Chapter Thirty Three

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 33**

James escorted Lily as far as the Great Hall, before continuing on his way back to Gryffindor Tower.

After leaving James with a kiss, Lily made her own way to the Hufflepuff dormitories. She gave the security portrait the password and slipped inside. The Gryffindor climbed three sets of stairs to Severus' new room and knocked.

When she didn't get a response, she knocked once more.

Presuming that Severus was either too depressed to respond, or asleep, and praying to Merlin that Severus was decent (not that she would have minded taking another look at Severus' lovely body) Lily pushed open the door and stepped inside the dormitory.

To her surprise, Severus was not there. She checked every bed, and then the bathroom, to no avail. Having no idea where her friend may have disappeared to, especially since he was pretending to be dead and was lying low, Lily checked under every bed. Severus simply wasn't in the room.

Worried, Lily sat down on the bed Severus had claimed. His small collection of clothes was still by the bed, so she assumed he hadn't gone far and had been intending to return.

She glanced at the bedside table and saw the remains of a turkey sandwich. It looked as though it had been picked to death by a bird.

And then Lily saw it. A letter addressed to herself and Minerva. Fear gripped her heart as she reached for the scroll. She broke the seal and began to read.

* * *

Lily ran, crying hysterically, through the castle until she reached the Gryffindor dorms. In her hand, she clutched Severus' letter, along with its attachments.

She burst into the Common Room and found James sitting on one of the couches, while Sirius and Remus were playing a game of wizard's chess, sitting on the floor, in the corner. "James!" she wailed, throwing herself at the young Auror.

James was startled to find Lily barrelling through the portrait hole and into his lap. He wrapped his arms around the hysterical girl.

"Shh, it's ok," he whispered to her, rubbing large circles on her back, trying not to think about the bra strap he could feel under her robes. "It's ok," he repeated over and over again as he held her, desperately trying not to think about the blood rushing to his crotch.

He felt Lily calm down a little and pulled away slightly to look at her. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.

The girl opened her mouth to speak and crumbled yet again, tears flowing out of her eyes as she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"S-s-Severus," she choked into James' neck.

"What about Severus?" he asked.

Lily thrust the now crumpled scroll at James. Keeping one arm around his girl, he unrolled the parchment and began to read.

James closed his eyes as he finished reading the letter. "We need to find Minerva, or Albus," he said quietly to Lily.

She nodded, and allowed herself to be pulled up from the couch.

"What's Snivellus done this time?" Sirius interrupted with a sneer on his face. "Tried to get into Lily's pants?"

James gave Black a dirty look. "None of your business," he replied, steering Lily away from his two friends. He hadn't yet had an opportunity to tell them that Snape had committed suicide. It wasn't something you could just slip into a conversation. What could he say? _"Who's winning? And, by the way, did you know you that Severus has killed himself?"_

Lily hadn't realised that the two boys were even in the room. She turned and faced them, her tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes turning in anger. "I hope you are fucking proud of yourselves!" she screamed.

"Why the hell did you have to go and tell everyone he was a whore? Why the hell did you break his heart!" she sobbed.

Sirius and Remus looked at her like deer stunned by a car's headlights. James put his arm around her again. He supposed that this was as good a time as any to slip Snape's fake suicide into the conversation.

"Severus couldn't live with the results of your actions this morning," he told his friends. "Lily just found his body." James held up the scrolls and waved them at his friends. "His last words, his Will and a letter to you," James continued, nodding at Remus as he mentioned the letter.

"We need to go to Minerva," he reminded everyone, turning away from his stunned friends, and leading Lily away.

As he was climbing out of the portrait hole, he heard a strangled sound from Remus, "How?"

James turned back, leaving Lily waiting in the hallway. "He jumped from the Astronomy Tower."

"Are you accusing us of murdering him?" asked Sirius. "Look, I'm sorry that the git is dead, but I didn't accuse him of anything that I didn't have full proof of. If he's dead, then he can't do it again, can he?"

James bristled and closed the portrait behind him, preventing Lily from hearing any more of their conversation. James turned to Remus. "A word," he said, pulling him aside.

Remus scrambled up from the floor and stepped up to James.

"You are a villain," James whispered. "I challenge you to a duel, a **true** wizards' duel. Name the place and the time, and I will be there. If you refuse, I will tell everyone that you are a coward. You have killed an innocent man, and his death will be forever on your soul.

"I'm taking Lily to find Minerva. I expect a response when I return."

James pushed Remus away from him as he reopened the portrait.

"Forgive me, but I can't be friends with you anymore.

"Oh, and by the way, Sirius, your brother has fled. We have looked everywhere for him. He was obviously ashamed that he had a hand in killing an innocent.

"Goodbye Black. I will see **you** later, Lupin."

James stepped through the portrait hole and slammed the dor shut.

"He's dead?" Remus murmured turning to look at Sirius. There were tears in his eyes as he stood by the portrait.

Sirius was up like a shot, hugging his friend. "Come on," he whispered. "Let's get some fresh air and go for a walk around the lake.

"We'll try and find that errant brother of mine."

* * *

James led Lily through the castle to Albus' office where Minerva and Albus were having tea.

When Minerva saw how upset Lily was, she quickly rushed over to comfort the distraught girl.

"What happened?" Albus asked James as Minerva calmed Lily, making her a cup of tea.

James handed over the scrolls, and the entire room went silent as first Albus read them, and then handed them to Minerva.

"He went to meet the Dark Lord?" Minerva asked, dumbfounded, as she finished reading Severus' letter.

Lily nodded.

"We knew this day would come," Albus said quietly.

"But today! Why today?" Lily wailed. "Everything went wrong today. What if something goes wrong at Wilkes'?"

"Nothing will go wrong, Lily," Minerva told her. "Severus has a good head on his shoulders. He'll have no problems tonight."

Albus smiled and continued reading through the two scrolls. "Has Remus seen this?" he asked, holding up the letter Severus had written to the werewolf.

James shook his head. "No, I hadn't had a chance to tell him that Severus was dead until just now. It didn't feel right just to say it out of the blue: 'Hmmm, lovely weather we're having. Oh, and did anyone tell you Snape killed himself?'

"I told them after Lily arrived in hysterics. I told them that he jumped off the Astronomy Tower, just as we planned."

Albus had, indeed, chosen this method of suicide, so that he could quite reasonably refuse to let anyone see Severus' mangled body.

This just set Lily off again.

"It's ok, Lily. Severus will be ok. All we can do now is sit and wait," Minerva told her.

"And show this letter to Remus," Albus added, placing the scrolls on the table.

The group was interrupted by a knock on Albus' door. "Enter," he called once more.

Ebenezer Scrivenshaft poked his head into the room. He had, unfortunately, been delayed from meeting with the Headmaster.

"There is something that you need to know…"

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	35. Chapter Thirty Four

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 34**

Sirius and Remus strolled around the lake. Sirius had purposefully steered Remus away from the Astronomy tower, and the two men set off to walk around the edge of the lake, heading in the general direction of Hogsmeade.

When they were about halfway to the main gates of Hogwarts, the two Gryffindors caught sight of the Citizens' Watch marching their criminals to Hogwarts.

"Come you, sir: if justice cannot tame you, she shall never weigh more reasons in her balance: no, and you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to," Aberforth was telling the prisoners.

The Watch had stopped for lunch, a large lager and an afternoon nap, before Aberforth had deemed it time to transport the prisoners. He had wanted to give Scrivenshaft enough time to explain everything to his brother after all!

Before setting off for Hogwarts, Aberforth had ordered the two men to be dosed up with Zonko's truth serum yet again, but between himself and Zonko the brothers had been given both a Truth Serum and a Babbling Brew. Not a particularly pleasant combination of potions for two people with something to hide.

"Hey," Sirius exclaimed. "It's the LeStranges," he told Remus as the party drew closer.

"It seems that they are in shackles," Remus replied. He did not particularly wish to come face to face with one of Severus' lovers, and as such, he turned to walk back to the castle.

"Hold on a moment," Sirius said, grabbing a hold of Remus' arm, and dragging him closer to the approaching group. "I want to know what's happened, it looks as though the LeStrange brothers are under arrest."

Sirius waited until the party was closer before speaking. "Aberforth, what have these men done?" he asked the Headmasters' brother.

Aberforth bowed before Sirius. "My Lord: they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a gentleman; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves," he explained.

Sirius found Aberforth's answer both amusing and useless, and decided to ask his next question in a similar manner. "Firstly, what have they done? Thirdly, what is their offence? Sixth and lastly, why they are committed? And, to conclude, what charges are they facing?"

Sirius turned to the two bound men. "I am afraid that Aberforth is too cunning to be understood: what is your offence?"

"Black, allow me to answer; after I finish speaking, you are free to kill me," Rodolphus said, stepping forward while mentally cursing the potions he had been forced to consume. His brother was silent as he still wore the gag across his mouth.

"I have deceived you and your friend. You could not see the absurdity of the situation as your judgement was clouded by anger; anger I generated. But these shallow **fools** have managed to uncover the truth.

"During the night they overheard me confessing to my brother how your brother Regulus and I had conspired to slander Severus Snape; how you were brought into the alleyway behind the Hog's Head and saw me court my lover who had, not knowing of my intention to fool you, used Polyjuice to appear to be Severus; and how you disgraced him, when you should have married him.

"They have a complete record of my plot, which I would rather seal closed with my death than have my shame repeated to the world at large. Severus is dead upon my and Regulus' false accusations.

"I am a scoundrel, and I deserve to be punished as one."

"I think my blood just turned to ice," Sirius whispered as he turned to Remus.

His friend was as white as a ghost. He looked as though he had stopped breathing. "Severus," he whispered.

Sirius moved to support Remus, with one arm around his waist. "And my brother conspired with you to do this?" Sirius asked quietly, his voice strained.

"Yes," answered Rodolphus, "And he promised me one of your grandfather's books for my trouble."

"My **own** brother," Sirius whispered. "My **own** brother… and now he has fled."

"Severus, I killed Severus," Remus mumbled, choking on his words. "He's dead, Sirius, he's dead. And he was innocent."

Sirius wrapped his arms around his friend, holding him close and allowing him to sob into his shoulder. They had killed an innocent man, a man whom Remus had loved with all his heart, a man who loved Remus with all **his** heart, and now was dead, because Remus had repudiated him.

Aberforth was at a loss as to how to help Remus. He looked back at the Watch before speaking. "Come, bring away the plaintiffs: by this time Scrivenshaft would have reformed my brother of the matter: and, men, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, that I am an ass."

"No need, here come Ebenezer and Albus now" said Honeyduke, who had been watching the castle.

The men watched as the Headmaster and the Record Keeper approached the group. The anger on Albus' face was evident even from several hundred meters away.

Albus strode up to the group. "Who is the man who defiled Severus' reputation? I want to see his eyes, so that if I meet another man like him, I will know to avoid him."

"That is I," Rodolphus admitted.

"You are the person who is responsible for Severus' death?" Albus asked coldly, there was no kindness left in his tone.

"Yes, I alone."

"No, I don't think so. You are not solely responsible for Severus' death. Also to blame are these two men," Albus gestured at Sirius and Remus. "The third that had a hand in it has fled. Like a coward. "

Albus turned to the two Gryffindors; it was time to make them suffer. "I thank you, _gentlemen_, for Severus' death. I hope that you will count it as one of your high and worthy deeds."

"Albus… I'm sorry," Remus said quietly. He lifted his head from Sirius' shoulder, but tears continued to stream down his face. "I know that's not good enough, not after what I did, but I'm sorry, I love Severus. I take full responsibility for his death, and for not knowing him and not trusting him enough not to believe what I saw last night. I am ready to accept any punishment that you feel is fitting."

"As do I," added Sirius, tightening his grip on his best friend.

Albus looked at his two Gryffindors, both the victims of a stupid, stupid prank. His heart did go out to them, though: both of them. "I cannot ask you to resurrect Severus: that is impossible. But I ask you both, tell the people in Hogsmeade, and the guests at the wedding how innocent he died."

He turned to Rodolphus. "And what of your lover?" Albus asked. "Where is he? I assume it is a he? He is also answerable to these crimes."

Rodolphus shook his head. "No, sir, my lover is innocent. He did not know what was happening last night. He thought I was fulfilling a sick fantasy. He had nothing to do with this."

Albus was quiet for a few moments, as he considered Rodolphus' words. He took the testimony from Ebenezer and re-read it.

After a few minutes, it dawned on Aberforth that it was the perfect time to tell his brother that Rabastan had called him an ass. "Moreover, brother, which indeed is not under white and black, this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass: I beseech you, let it be remembered in his punishment."

Albus turned to his brother. "I thank you for your help in this matter," he told him, mentally kicking himself for the hundredth time that evening for not listening to Aberforth when he asked for help earlier in the day.

Aberforth bowed. "You speak like a most thankful and reverend youth; and I praise God for you."

"Go," Albus commanded. He grew serious and dismissed his brother formally. "I discharge you of your prisoner, and I thank you."

The Innkeeper bowed once more, and continued doing so, the rest of the Watch joining in as they backed away, bowing and walking backwards towards the gates.

"I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which I beseech your worship to correct yourself, for the example of others. God keep your worship! I wish your worship well; God restore you to health! I humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it!" Aberforth said as he walked away.

"Remember: I am an ass!"

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	36. Chapter Thirty Five

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 35**

Three days later, Severus was still at Wilkes' Manor. He had been busy brewing potions for his new Lord. His left forearm was bandaged with a white gauze dressing as the Dark Mark, which now adorned his left arm, had begun to weep as it healed.

Normally the Dark Lord, _his_ Lord, would not have allowed any of his followers to hide the mark from view **or** aid its healing process, but he understood that Severus could not allow any of the liquid to contaminate his potions, so he allowed Severus the privilege of the bandage, and a mild healing potion.

Severus was in the library that Tuesday afternoon, researching the effects of substituting newt's legs for newt's tail in a potion, when he was interrupted by the arrival of the LeStrange brothers.

From his vantage point, Severus could see the brothers approaching the Dark Lord through the open doors connecting the library to the formal lounge room. Voldemort was sitting by the fireplace, slightly out of Severus' line of sight, but close enough to the doors that the young Potions Master could hear every word that was spoken.

Severus watched as Rodolphus got to his knees as he approached the Dark Lord and kissed his boots. He then backed away, still on his knees and waited for _He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named_ to speak.

Voldemort picked up a small bell and summoned a house-elf. "Go fetch Mr Black," he instructed the small creature as Rodolphus pulled his brother to the floor to kneel before him.

Within a few minutes, Regulus Black joined the LeStrange brothers. He, too, kissed the Dark Lord's boots before kneeling beside his friends.

"Tell me about Ssseverus," Voldemort instructed. "Tell me about his… liaisons with the half-blood."

Regulus bowed his head in respect before responding. "He was trapped into marrying a half-blood Gryffindor. My brother 'arranged' the marriage."

"We did not think that it was right, a pure-blooded Slytherin being forced into a marriage with a half-blood. So we tried to sabotage the wedding," continued Rabastan.

"We convinced the half-blood that my brother had feelings for Severus, and was courting him for himself," Regulus added.

"But Sirius Black was able to convince the half-blood to marry Severus, and persuaded Severus to marry the half-blood," Rabastan said.

"Which was when I came onto the scene and we upped the stakes," Rodolphus stated. "Severus couldn't have possibly wanted to marry the half-blood, so we made sure that the half-blood wouldn't marry him. We believed Black was holding something on Severus."

The Dark Lord was silent for several, long minutes before speaking. "I am very disappointed in you," he said very, very quietly, forcing the trio to listen.

"Firstly: you never once spoke to Severus regarding this marriage. You assumed that he had been fooled into marrying the half-blood, when it was actually the half-blood who had been fooled into marrying Severus. If you had bothered to speak to Severus _before_ you concocted your plan, he would have informed you to leave the situation as it stood.

"Secondly: you boasted about your scheme in a public place, where, not only were you overheard but also **caught**. I will **not** be having any of my supporters going around with loose lips or blabbing mouths.

"Thirdly: you have ruined any trust that Albus Dumbledore had in Severus. All his years of working to get close to the man have been wasted."

Voldemort rang his house-elf summoning-bell once more, and handed a note to the creature that appeared. When the house-elf had vanished, he turned to his three followers and glared at them. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Rodolphus immediately dropped to the floor and lay spread-eagled and face down in front of the Dark Lord. Regulus and Rabastan followed suit a split second later.

"We are sorry, my Lord," Regulus said as spokesperson.

"We didn't mean to kill him," added Rabastan.

"Kill him?" asked Voldemort, confused. Word had not reached his ears of Severus' supposed death. The Dark Lord had only received word of his unfortunate wedding ceremony.

"When the half-blood accused Severus of sleeping around, and ruined his reputation, he took his own life," Rodolphus explained.

"We have spent the last three days trying to clean the blood off the pavement under the Astronomy Tower," Rabastan added.

"Blood?" asked Voldemort.

"Severus jumped from the Astronomy tower the night of the wedding. Ludicrous of him, if you ask me," Rodolphus mumbled into the floor. He stopped for a moment as he thought about Severus' reasons for jumping. He heard a door open and the close behind him.

"He should have known that you would not blame him for his failure," Rodolphus added, fairly certain now that he had royally screwed up one of his Master's plans.

"Indeed," Voldemort agreed. "How did you know it was Severus' blood?"

"How could we not?" answered Rabastan. "The entire village is talking of it. We were told of his death during our interrogation, and the Headmaster explained how he died later, and that we would be cleaning his blood out of the stone as our punishment.

"The half-blood is beside himself, he wants his fiancé back. He would do anything to take it all back."

"And your only punishment was to remove blood from stone?" the Dark Lord asked.

"Yes, my Lord," Rodolphus answered.

Voldemort beckoned the newcomer forward to stand by his chair. "On your knees," he commanded the three spread out before him.

They quickly moved backwards and got to their knees, their heads still bowed looking at the floor, and not at their Lord.

"Look at me!" hissed Voldemort.

The three boys looked up and saw not only the Dark Lord, but Severus, standing beside him.

"Y-Y-You're dead!" stammered Rabastan.

"We scraped your brains off the castle ourselves!" cried Rodolphus.

"Hardly," Severus replied. He was holding three vials of a milky white potion on a tray.

"Why would I commit suicide over a half-blood?" he sneered. He did not want to let on that he had overheard their earlier remarks about killing himself for other reasons. In truth, and left to his own devices, he may, very well have killed himself over Remus.

The Dark Lord turned to Severus. "How did everyone come to think of you as dead?" he asked.

Severus bowed his head before answering the man. "My Lord, I have previously informed you of the trust the Headmaster bestows in my character. He was not fooled by the lies spread by my doppelganger's actions the night before. He believed that if it was widely known that I had suicided, that the guilty parties would make themselves known. He also surmised that the action would turn Lupin's anger into regret. I see the ruse has worked on all fronts.

"I would assume that the remains that these men were forced to clean were actually the remains of a roast lamb."

Severus bowed deeply once more. "You have, as one of your followers, a dead man. The world thinks I am dead. This has many advantages."

The Dark Lord was silent for a long moment. He turned to the three men. "If Severus was to return, would they have him back?" he asked.

The LeStrange brothers nodded enthusiastically.

"Severus, your offer of a 'dead' follower is most appealing. However, no matter how tempting I find this gift, it is not one I would accept in lieu of a man close to Dumbledore. I believe it is best that you return to Hogwarts and complete whatever plan it is that he has in mind for you. Marry the half-blood if necessary, and keep close in their circle."

"Yes, my Lord," replied Severus, bowing once more.

Voldemort turned his attention once more to the men kneeling before him. "There is still the matter of punishment to discuss," he said sternly.

"I cannot emphasize how important secrets are. How important it is **not** to speak of our plans in the presence of those who are not loyal to our cause.

"As punishment for your foolishness, you will not have the use of your mouths for two days. That is no talking, no eating, no drinking. You will learn to keep your large mouths **shut**."

The Dark Lord turned to Severus. "The potion," he stated.

Severus held out the silver tray to each man and waited patiently until they had taken a vial each.

"Swallow!" the Dark Lord commanded.

The three men unstoppered their vials and ingested the milky contents in one gulp. As soon as they had swallowed the mixture, their lips began to join and their mouths began to grow over with skin.

Soon the three men were looking rather strange as they had nothing on their face to separate their nose from their chins.

"Perfect," the Dark Lord announced. "Your work is of an excellent standard, Severus."

Severus bowed. "Thank you, my Lord. I hoped my brew would meet your high standards."

Voldemort smiled softly at the Potions Master, and then turned back towards those being punished.

"That being said and done, I would like to congratulate you boys on a job well done. Obviously you need to work on keeping your mouths **shut** _and_ remembering to **check** with me first, but your groundwork and your execution was admirable. Once Severus' little potion has worn off, we will discuss the option of a more formal declaration of loyalty to our cause.

"No, not you, Rodolphus, you have already accepted my Mark."

The Dark Lord clapped his hands together. "Now, tell me, which one of you called Aberforth Dumbledore an ass?" he asked gleefully.

Rabastan tentatively put his hand up.

"Wonderful, just wonderful!" Voldemort exclaimed.

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	37. Chapter Thirty Six

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 36**

The next day, after being ordered by Albus to keep Sirius and Remus indoors and away from the rest of the castle, James told both his friends that he needed to speak with them.

"I'm sorry," the former Head Boy said when they were all seated on one of the sofas in the common room. "About challenging you to Wizard's Duel and telling you that I couldn't be friends with you anymore.

"I mean if you had **really** made it all up, I'd still be furious, but we were all tricked," he explained.

Sirius smiled gallantly. "It's ok, Prongs. If you had turned against Lily the way we did against Snape, I'd do the same thing to you," he explained.

"There's nothing to apologise for," Remus said quietly. "I deserved that. I deserve to be challenged to a duel. I deserve to be friendless. I actually deserve much, much more for having killed him," he added. Remus was still very, very distraught over the entire incident.

"We have to live with the fact that we killed him. That is punishment enough," Sirius said quietly.

"And the itching," Remus added softly.

"The itching?" asked James, bewildered.

Remus shrugged. "The full moon is next week. The wolf usually gets… restless. But it seems worse this month, like it misses Severus and it knows that Severus won't be returning. It wants Severus back." The werewolf fidgeted a bit as he tried to get comfortable to no avail. He gave up and flung himself on the other couch so that he could lie down on his back.

James watched Remus squirm for some time, before asking a question he had wanted to ask for several days. "What happened that night?" he asked tentatively.

Sirius waited for Remus to explain, but when his friend didn't say a word, he began to speak. "After you left in a huff, and Peter had to go and sort out some problem the Inn had because Aberforth was out doing his thing for the Citizens' Watch. Anyway, Moony and I were left drinking alone and I was chatting up this _nice_ waitress when that bastard brother of mine came up to the table and asked to speak to us in private.

"We went outside and he insisted that we cast a sobering charm on ourselves. When we had, he told us that he didn't think that Moony should be marrying Snape.

"He said that he had known something about Snape which he thought we weren't aware of, and had been wrestling with his conscience as to whether or not he should tell us."

"It was a total load of dragon shit," Remus interjected.

James smirked as Sirius continued. "He told us that Severus would basically spread his legs for anyone who asked.

"I, myself, didn't want to believe him, and asked him for proof.

"He led us to the back of the Hog's Head inn, where we saw someone sucking off Rodolphus LeStrange. We weren't sure at first if it was Snape or not, all we could see was the back of his head."

"It smelt like him," Remus interrupted. "Like he does, like he **did** when he was aroused."

"Yes, thank you Moony, we really needed to know that," Sirius answered.

He turned back to James. "Anyway, LeStrange… _you know_…"

"Orgasmed," supplied James.

"… and he called out Snape's name.

"I tried to get Moony to go back to the castle but he wouldn't. He wanted to see what happened next, so we stayed.

"LeStrange told his partner that he wanted him three more times before sunset and he pushed him into the railing and lubricated him using a charm, while he pulled off his robes. The man wasn't wearing underwear, and LeStrange commented that he was constantly without underwear.

"It was a lie," Remus whispered. "I should have known. It was a lie. Severus never goes out without his underwear. Never. He's had so many explosions in his lab when he's experimenting, that he would never risk having to walk back to his rooms in the nude if he ruined both sets of robes."

James looked at his friend. What he said made sense, especially after Lily's explanation of Potion Lab safety. He supposed that Severus not wearing underwear was the furthest thing from Moony's mind at that point. He was about to agree when Remus continued.

"And he's scared of lubrication charms. I mean **terrified** of them. He was almost raped once and the charm brings it all back to him.

"And why the hell did LeStrange cast a _tightening_ spell? Severus' arse does **not** need tightening!" Remus' friends held back a small smirk as he essentially told them that Severus was a tight arse.

"And he wasn't wearing his choker. Invisible or not, I would have seen it. I thought he wasn't because it was from me, but I never told him how to get it off, I doubt that he would have had the patience to remove it."

Remus sat up on the couch and faced his friends. His face was white and ashen. "It wasn't him," he whispered, "It's so **obvious** that it wasn't him.

"It looked like him, and it smelt like him, but it didn't **act** like him. My Severus would never have sex in a public place, or use a lubrication charm, or not wear underwear, or need a tightening charm, or sleep with anyone else but me…

"I fell for that hook, line and sinker.

"And why didn't I think of the possibility that someone had used Polyjuice to look like him? He'd been brewing more Polyjuice **all week**. **Sirius** used Polyjuice to look like me, so that he could talk to him. Why didn't I realise that?"

"Severus did," Sirius said quietly. "At the Mid-Summer ball, he knew I wasn't you from the moment I opened my mouth. He even knew it was me."

Remus began to hyperventilate as Sirius spoke. He burst out into tears. "And now he's deeaadd," he wailed.

James, who had been gaining a great deal experience calming down crying females thanks to Lily, got up from his seat, sat next to Remus, and pulled him into a hug.

"He forgave you, you know," James said quietly. "Before he left, he forgave you."

"You're just saying that," Remus mumbled into James' robes.

"No, I'm not," James replied, tucking his friend's head underneath his chin.

The Animagus pulled a crumpled scroll out of his pocket. "He wanted us to give this to you. He wanted you to know how much he cared for you."

James handed Severus' letter to Remus, and held him while he read it.

"H-h-he s-s-still l-l-loved m-me; a-after e-everything I d-did," hiccupped Remus.

"Yeah," replied James. "I reckon he was pretty sure that you wanted nothing more to do with him."

"You called him a Knockturn Alley whore," Sirius pointed out helpfully.

James shot his friend an angry look.

"He's dead and I killed him…" murmured Remus, "I'm a murderer…"

"You weren't the one who pushed him from the tower," James whispered, as he tried to comfort the werewolf.

"Yes I did." Remus choked back a sob. "If it wasn't for me, he would still be alive."

James just wrapped his arms more tightly around his friend and held him closely while he grieved, he wished he could tell him that it was all a lie, that Severus was alive and well, that the entire suicide had been a ruse to flush out the guilty culprits.

But Snape hadn't been seen or heard from in over three days, and he didn't want to tell Remus anything, lest Snape had actually been killed. He'd leave that lovely honour to Albus.

Instead, James held Remus tightly as he cried and handed him his handkerchief when Remus began to settle down.

Sirius, meanwhile, had stretched out on the sofa he was sitting on.

"You know, one good thing did come from this whole episode."

James raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be?" he asked.

"I got to see Snape's naked body, and I can see what Moony sees in him. Merlin that man is **hung!** He's bigger than me."

James reached behind him and grabbed a cushion.

**Thwack!**

* * *

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Feedback very welcome!


	38. Chapter Thirty Seven

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 37**

While James was keeping Remus and Sirius pre-occupied, Severus had successfully slipped back into the castle. He had, at Voldemort's insistence, written an owl to Albus, in order to try to convince the Headmaster to allow him to return to Hogwarts.

To _He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named_'s great delight, Severus had succeeded in persuading Dumbledore to open the floo in his office. This allowed him to travel straight from his rooms at Wilkes' Manor to Hogwarts without being seen by anyone who could recognise him.

The Dark Lord had been quite impressed when Severus had received Albus' reply stating the correct name of his fireplace and a specific time when he would relax his wards in order to permit Severus entrance to the school. Little did _You-Know-Who_ know that Severus had worded his request in such a way that the Headmaster knew that the communication would be scrutinized.

"So, my boy," Albus said, as he re-established the wards on his floo connection. "You have had a successful visit?"

Severus nodded. He had spent the better part of four days in the company of the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters: acting as though his heart was not broken and his life not shattered, and pretending to be annoyed that his plans had been ruined - though that had not taken too much acting on his part.

He had succeeded in his mission even though all he had really wanted to do was to curl up into a ball and cry and scream at Fate herself, asking her why she thought she could turn his life upside down.

Albus smiled at his former student, and turned his attention to the inglenook. He tapped the large, black kettle which was sitting on a hook in his fireplace. It jumped into the fire and Albus beamed when steam whistled out its spout. Picking up the kettle, he poured the boiled water into two cups he had readied earlier, before replacing it on the hook.

The Headmaster handed Severus his cup. It was full of strong, black tea, just the way the Potions Master liked it. Albus added honey and lemon to his own, sat down by the fire in one of his overstuffed armchairs, and gestured to Severus to sit in the armchair to his right.

Severus sat awkwardly, and took a long drink from his scalding hot teacup in lieu of screaming at Fate. The Potions Master set his tea on the table beside his chair and sat, staring into the flames.

Several long minutes went by without either Headmaster or Potions Master uttering a word. Albus was waiting for Severus to give an account of his time at Wilkes Manor. Severus was finally taking a few moments to think and reflect on his new status in the Dark Lord's ranks.

"Severus?" Albus said tentatively, trying to draw the boy out of his stupor.

Severus looked up at the Headmaster. "Why?" he asked softly.

"Why what?"

"Why do they hate Muggles so much? They disgrace them, laugh at their failings and mock their strengths. Why? Because they have no magic? Because they are not of 'Pure Blood'?

"Do they not have eyes? Hands? Organs? Senses? Affections? Passions? Are they not fed with the same food? Hurt with the same weapons? Subject to the same diseases? Warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer?

"If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? If you poison them, do they not die? If you wrong them, do they not exact revenge?

"Why do they hate them so much? Those who are not 'Pure-bloods'? What does it matter if you have magic or not?"

Albus was silent for a moment after Severus' impassioned speech. Slowly, his face broke out into a proud smile. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say those words," he told his former student.

Severus looked at him with large, dark, soulless eyes. "That's why they did it," he said quietly. "That's why they plotted to ruin my life. They didn't think that a 'half-blood' should marry a 'pure-blood'."

Severus snorted. "Imagine what they would have done if they knew he was a werewolf."

"Was Voldemort pleased?" Albus asked quietly, resisting the urge to lean forward and grasp the young man's hand.

The newly inducted Death Eater winced as he felt a shooting pain stab his Mark. "He believed that their 'groundwork' and 'execution' were 'admirable' but was very angry that they had not informed him of their plan before hand, and was livid that they boasted of their success in a manner which allowed them to be linked to their crimes."

"He punished them?"

"Yes. I brewed a potion which made their mouths close over. He wanted them to remember to keep their secrets to themselves. The potion will wear off tomorrow."

Albus was quietly shocked. "He has you brewing potions for him?" he asked, although pleased that his young spy was gaining the trust of the Dark Lord.

Severus nodded. He did not find his new position in Voldemort's pleasing in the least.

While Albus was taking another sip of tea and contemplating the new, fully welcome development, Severus rolled up his left sleeve and removed the bandage on his forearm with a flick of his wand. Slowly, he extended his arm to the Headmaster.

Albus sprayed tea all over his lap as he saw the Mark. "He marked you!" he growled in rage, hastily replacing his teacup on the table.

Albus leant forward and took a hold of Severus' arm with long, icy fingers. "He marked you," he repeated in a dead whisper.

"How **dare** he mark you!"

Severus pulled back his arm; Albus' grip had grown surprisingly strong, and Severus' arm was still sore. "I was given no choice," he whispered. "I believe that refusal would have resulted in too many questions… or, if he felt that I was a threat to his power, my death."

"Voldemort touched you," Albus repeated, the anger evident in his voice as he watched Severus re-bandage his arm, flinching in pain.

"Please do not say his name," Severus murmured.

"I will not be afraid to say his name!" thundered Albus, **furious** that his nemesis had laid claim to one of his Order members.

"The Mark burns each time you say it," Severus explained. "It hurts."

"Oh my poor boy," Albus whispered, looking at Severus again.

"He will never want me now," Severus answered in an exceptionally soft voice.

"Voldemort?" Albus answered. "He wants you. He wouldn't have branded you like an ox if he didn't want you."

Severus gasped as his Mark burned again. He shook his head. "Remus… Remus will never want me now."

Albus' look of sympathy quickly turned stern as he looked at his young spy. "Remus has been beside himself since he heard of your 'suicide'. He misses you, he wishes you were alive and safe."

"He rejected me when he thought I was sleeping around behind his back! He only wants me back now because he knows it was a lie. He's never going to want me back when he learns that I bear the Dark Mark. It stands against everything he believes in!"

"Remus is a Dark Creature," Albus reminded Severus softly.

"Your point being?"

"Just as you didn't have a choice but to take the Mark, Remus did not have a choice when he was Turned. He will understand, Severus. He will empathize with you. He will know, for it is in his heart, that you are a good man. And that you love him. And that it is because you love him that you consented to this. And he will _especially_ understand that the actual decision of whether or not to take the Mark was not yours to make, but pressed upon you by a deranged Dark Creature, just as his curse was pressed upon him."

"You make it sound so simple," Severus whispered.

"It is. You have not seen him as I have seen him these past few days. He is overcome with grief. Not the grief of someone who is remorseful for having killed someone, but the heart-wrenching grief of a man who has lost his life partner. He would do anything to get you back."

"Until he learns of the Mark," replied Severus.

Albus sighed at Severus' stubbornness. "Do you trust me?" he asked the obstinate man sitting to his right.

"Within reason," Severus responded.

"Do you trust me in **this**?" asked Albus.

Severus said nothing for a moment before nodding.

"Then leave it up to me. I will speak to Remus on your behalf."

The Potions Master took another sip of his tea. "The Dark Lord wishes for me to marry Remus and get close to you," he informed Albus.

"Volde- **He** was not upset that you were marrying a half-blood?"

Severus cringed as he mark twitched again. "He requests that all his followers marry pure-bloods and produce progeny, but allowed special dispensation on my part as I explained that Remus was close to you, and thus so was I, by extension. He knows of your plan regarding my suicide, and ordered me to return and allow myself to be bonded to the degenerate 'half-blood'."

"Well, we shouldn't disappoint the Dark Lord, should we?" Albus replied, a twinkle returning to his eye.

"No, sir."

"Severus, do **you** want to marry Remus?"

Severus looked at the Headmaster. The old man was **finally** asking him of his wishes.

He nodded. "If he will have me."

"He will, Severus. He will. Just leave it all up to me."

"Thank you."

"Now, Severus, there are three very worried ladies waiting for you in the Hufflepuff Common Room…"

* * *

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	39. Chapter Thirty Eight

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 38**

Albus was sitting at his desk in his office. He had escorted Severus to the Hufflepuff Common Room, and had been amused to see the young man attacked by three concerned females before he had even made it two steps into the room.

As he watched Lily and Arabella fuss over his spy, Albus pulled Minerva aside, and quietly informed her of Severus' new position in the Dark Lord's ranks, warning her not to speak Voldemort's name out loud and enlightening her on his plans to wed Remus and Severus.

He had then returned to his office as the women started to drag Severus towards one of the large sofas in the room, promising to arrange for some lunch to be sent up.

After eating his own meal, the Headmaster had sent an owl to Remus, asking him to meet with him late that afternoon.

As Albus was double checking the list of new first-year students for the up-coming school year, he was interrupted by a soft knock on his door.

Putting aside his quill, Albus stood from his desk and crossed the room. He opened the door revealing the pale werewolf who was waiting behind it.

"Come in, Remus," he instructed, guiding his former student to sit in the armchair Severus had relaxed in earlier that day. Albus waited for Remus to show any signs of recognising Severus' scent.

Remus didn't say a word.

"Are you ill?" Albus asked, perplexed that Remus had not commented, or even reacted subtly to the presence of Severus's scent.

Remus shrugged. "The wolf is restless. He misses Severus. Everything itches. My nose and eyes are running. It feels as though I have hay fever, but it's worse. I can't describe it accurately enough."

"Your wolf bonded with Severus." It was a statement, not a question.

Remus nodded, tears beginning to gather in his eyes once more. He hoped that Albus would dismiss them as a symptom of his illness, and not recognize that they were tears of grief.

"I take it that the wedding ceremony was merely a formality?" The Headmaster asked softly as he sat in the other armchair.

"I suppose so."

Albus sighed quietly, upset at the so-called 'prank' that the Slytherins had played on two of his favourite students.

"Remus, you know that the itching won't go away."

"I know." Remus sighed.

"There is something that might be done," Albus told him, resisting the urge to hug the young man. He had never seen Remus so depressed and miserable before.

"I very much doubt that the Obliviate charm would help," Remus answered quietly. "You cannot erase something that a person knows on a subconscious level."

Albus smiled, amused that Remus had thought of the charm. "I wasn't referring to the Obliviate charm; no memory charm would be able to affect your wolf.

"I was referring to a substitution of sorts."

"A substitution?" Remus asked, puzzled and the slightest bit worried. He had thoughts of Albus forcing young Polyjuiced men onto him: each looking exactly like Severus, and yet never, ever being able to live up to his memory. He began to panic.

"Usually a werewolf can survive the death of its mate if it bonds with a close blood-relative of their chosen. Typically, a parental bond to their children allows the wolf to still feel close to its mate," Albus explained.

Remus calmed as the concept of Polyjuiced men was quashed. But he didn't quite understand what Albus was on about. "Severus and I don't have any children," he reminded the Headmaster.

"I never said you did, I said that a bond to one of Severus' blood-relatives may help."

"Severus was an only child. His mother is dead and his father is in Azkaban. Are you telling me he is a dad?"

Albus leant forward and hit Remus on the back of the head. "Have you learnt nothing of Severus over the past few days? I **know** that he told you that he had only slept with you. How do you think he could have become a father?"

"I don't know," Remus replied, rubbing the back of his head. "You were going on about blood-relatives. What was I supposed to think! With all that has been going on I feel as though I don't know him anymore."

"Calm down, Remus. Of course you know Severus. Your perception of him was altered in a ghastly manner, now you need to separate the Severus you know from the Severus you saw on Friday night."

"The Severus I **knew**…" the werewolf murmured.

"The Severus you **know**," Albus repeated.

"Alas, we have gotten off-track. I was explaining to you that I have found a substitution for your wolf."

"Fine," Remus mumbled. "Who is this substitution? Are you asking me to bond with his father?"

Albus snorted – it wasn't a particularly polite snort for a Headmaster. "Bonding you to that sadist would defeat the purpose of trying to calm the wolf, don't you think?" he asked rhetorically.

"It is a cousin, the child of his mother's cousin," Albus replied. He had chosen not to reveal Severus' actual survival to Remus at this point in time. He wanted to ensure that Remus was not against bonding with a man who carried the Dark Mark for the sake of the Order.

"I would rather not bond with Severus' cousin. I can not bond with anyone but him," Remus answered meekly.

Albus mentally cursed the Dark Lord once more for being the ultimate instigator of the entire mess. "If you do not, you would be better off dead, the itching will only get worse."

"Albus…"

"Trust me, Remus, your wolf will feel calmer. And you will not need to be on intimate terms with your bonded, if you feel that you cannot be.

"I have already lost Severus this week; I cannot lose you as well," Albus added appealing, rather slyly, to the werewolf's conscience.

Remus was quiet as he went over all the possibilities in his head. Severus was dead. The man his wolf had bonded to was dead. Now his wolf was going stir crazy. It wanted its mate: its Severus. Remus knew that if he could not soothe his wolf before the full moon next week, it would tear itself apart without its mate.

Albus had located Severus' mother's cousin's child. Bonding with this person would calm the wolf down. Severus would surely berate him if he died from not bonding with his cousin, Remus could almost see his lover's temper tantrum if you were to let that happen. And then there were the Marauder's; he could not let his friends and the Order down by dying from a lack of bond mate.

Eventually, the werewolf nodded his consent.

Albus let out a sigh of relief when Remus finally agreed to his plan. Now for the tricky bit: telling Remus that 'Severus' cousin' bore the Dark Mark. If Remus accepted him, Mark and all, he would accept Severus. If he refused the bond on learning about the Mark, then they would have to find some way of hiding Severus' forearm from view. A bandage could not be kept on forever.

"There is one more thing before you agree," Albus told his guest. "Severus' cousin is a member of the Order. One who is quite deeply undercover and working to infiltrate Voldemort's Inner Circle.

"I have not requested their presence here as yet, although they know of Severus' death and your predicament, as I wished to discuss the matter with you first."

Remus nodded and waited for Albus to continue. He wondered exactly what the old man was up to. Severus had been undercover in the same manner. He understood the risks.

Albus paused for a moment. "Severus' cousin bears the Dark Mark."

Remus' eyes opened wide.

"It was not their choice. To have refused the Mark would have resulted in their exposure as a spy, or even the mistaken assumption that they wished to challenge Voldemort.

"I assure you that Severus' cousin is on our side in the same capacity, yet slightly deeper, than Severus himself was. They are a spy for the Light, and I swear upon my mother's grave that they are loyal to our cause." Severus' speech that morning, and his obvious disgust at the Dark Lord's activities left no doubt in Albus' mind that Severus was truly against Voldemort.

"Do you have any objection to bonding with Severus' cousin?"

"Your only concern is that they bear the Dark Mark?" Remus asked.

"Yes."

"Then I have no objection. If Severus had lived he may have been asked to accept the Mark. It would be hypercritical of me to refuse his cousin's help for that reason."

Albus' face lit up. This was one moment that he was happy that Severus was wrong. Remus would accept Severus back, complete with the Mark burnt into his arm.

"May I ask a question?"

"Of course you may."

"You refer to Severus' cousin in the form of 'they'. Am I to bond with two of them?"

Albus chuckled. "Of course not. I'm afraid the use of a gender neutral pronoun is a force of habit. I am reluctant to let anyone know even the smallest possible details of my spies. Even the small detail of their gender would be giving too much away."

"I understand," replied Remus, although still slightly puzzled as why Albus would not tell **him** the gender of his betrothed. "When will I meet his cousin?"

"Tomorrow. I will arrange for them to travel via floo to my office. Wear your Wedding Robes and wait for us in the garden. I will owl you with the details.

"Severus' cousin can only spare us a few days before the weekend, and you will need to bond before the full moon. It is on Monday, is it not?"

"It is. But tomorrow? Is it truly that time critical?" Remus felt that Albus was rushing things a little too much.

"I'm afraid so, my boy. Now I suggest you go and tell your friends that you are getting married."

"Yes, sir," Remus replied, feeling rather bewildered over the entire situation. Why were Albus' eyes twinkling like that? Why did he have that niggling little feeling that he had just been duped?

Albus escorted him to the door. "Good-bye, Remus," he told his former student as he opened the door. "Wait for my owl and I will see you tomorrow."

"Thank you sir, I will. Goodbye."

Albus watched as the werewolf approached the gargoyle guarding his office. "Oh, Remus," he called out.

Remus turned.

"I'll have none of your temper tantrums tomorrow."

Remus turned red. "Yes, sir," he replied as he disappeared down the stairs.

* * *

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	40. Chapter Thirty Nine

**Chapter 39**

Once Remus had left the Common Room to meet with Albus, James decided to go and find Lily.

He left Sirius to sleep the afternoon away on the sofa and made his way down to the dungeons where Lily was busily working in the potions lab. She had left the door open, presumably for some ventilation, and was bent over one of the benches scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment.

James knocked once on the door. "Busy?" he asked, even though it was obvious that she was.

Lily smiled at him. "Not busy enough that I can't take a break," she replied, smiling at her friend.

"Let's go and grab some ice-cream from the kitchens then," James suggested, returning Lily's smile.

The former head girl put away her quill and parchment and, after quickly checking the cauldron bubbling away in the middle of the room, retrieved her cloak from the wardrobe. She ushered James outside and locked and warded the room.

As they walked towards the kitchens, James stole a glance at the girl who had stolen his heart. He was amazed that she had set aside her potions to join him for an ice-cream. He opened his mouth and realised he had nothing to say.

"Lily, will you always come when I ask you to?" he asked as they entered the kitchens and took a seat at one of the long benches. As soon as he spoke the words he regretted them, his face turning a lovely shade of pink.

Lily straddled the bench opposite James and smiled at his embarrassment. "Yes of course I will. And I will depart when you ask," she replied.

James grinned at the girl. He was a nervous as hell. "Oh, but stay until then."

"'Then' is spoken. I shall go now." Lily smiled, but made no move to actually leave. "But before I go, let me go with what I came for: ice-cream!"

Lily's eyes lit up as one of the house-elves heard her request and quickly served up two large bowls of chocolate ice-cream complete with crushed peanuts and whipped cream. Smiling wickedly, she indulged in the treat, and seductively raised the spoon to her mouth, devouring the rich snack.

James swallowed hard and tried to ignore Lily's blatant flirting. He struggled to concentrate on his own ice-cream, and not to fixate his attention on her lips. He failed miserably.

Hours seemed to go by while she ate her dessert, James staring as she ate each small spoonful. Finally, Lily finished her ice-cream and thanked the house-elves for her treat.

She turned to James and smiled. "Tell me, what has passed between you and Remus?" she asked.

"Only foul words," he replied. He was still fascinated by Lily's lips even though she wasn't eating anymore. They had turned a rosy pink from the cold ice cream. "May I kiss you?" he asked softly.

Lily narrowed her eyes at her former adversary. "Foul words are but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noxious; therefore I will depart unkissed."

James chuckled at Lily's witty response: it was so typical of her. He wondered at how something that had annoyed him two weeks ago seemed so charming now. "I challenged Remus to a Wizard's Duel, and told him that if he refused, I would declare him a coward and disgrace him.

"But now that we know that it was a scheme cooked up by the creative team of LeStrange, LeStrange and Black, I retracted my challenge. He is **really** upset by the entire incident; he does not need to fight me, he has his conscience to do that for him."

James smiled warmly at Lily. "So tell me, for which of my bad parts did you first fall in love with me?"

Lily giggled, and for once in her life didn't mind that she was acting like a silly schoolgirl. She pretended to think for a moment before replying. "For them all together; as they maintain such a prudent state of evil that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them," she told him. "But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?"

James snorted. "Suffer love! Your description is accurate, I **do** suffer love. I love you against my will," he stated, referring back to their conversation on Mid-Summer's Eve, and deftly not answering the question.

"In spite of your heart?" Lily asked. "Poor heart! If you are going to spite it for my sake, then I will spite it for yours, as I can never love something that my friend hates."

James laughed. "You and I are too wise to woo peacefully," he said quietly, stretching over the table to give Lily a small kiss.

The kiss grew more passionate as the two Gryffindors prolonged the contact; they continued kissing until the need for oxygen grew too great. James pulled away first, and stood just staring into Lily's deep, green eyes. They had both risen from their seats during the kiss and were now standing, half-crouched, looking into each other's eyes.

James was the one to break the moment. "I take it my foul breath wasn't too noxious?" he asked with smirk on his face.

Lily grinned, and sat down again. "I brew potions for a living. I know how to hold my breath when breathing noxious air," she replied with a smirk of her own.

James chuckled.

After a moment they both grew serious again. "Any news from Snape?" he asked. He was actually genuinely concerned about the git.

Lily nodded. "He arrived back this afternoon."

"Oh he did? How is he?"

Lily sighed. "Very ill."

"He's still upset about Remus?" James asked softy. He knew Snape could hold a grudge, and probably would for a long time, however he was not asking after feelings of revenge, but rather his general well-being.

"That and more," Lily replied.

"He knows that Remus would have him back in a heartbeat, doesn't he?" asked James, quietly.

Lily nodded.

"Doesn't he want Remus?" James enquired.

"That's not the problem," whispered Lily.

"If he wants to be with Remus, and he knows Remus wants to be with him, what **is** the problem?"

"He doesn't think that Remus will want him back now that he carries the Dark Mark on his arm," Lily confessed.

James' heart stopped. Of all the things that Lily could have said, that was the last statement he had expected. "The Dark Mark?" he asked.

Lily nodded once more. "The Dark Lord Marked him. Severus was given no choice in the matter: if he refused to be Marked, Voldemort would have assumed he was either contesting him for leadership, or a spy. Now he's scared that Remus won't want him because he bears the Mark."

"I think we should give Remus a little more credit than that," James said. "I'm sure he would understand."

"We are talking about a person who left his fiancé at the altar because he didn't have the guts to quietly take him aside and calmly and rationally discuss with him what he had seen the night before. He didn't even have the backbone to send Sirius, or speak with Minerva!

"Severus has a point, if Remus couldn't handle himself properly before, imagine how he's going to react when he sees the Mark."

"I still think we should at least give him a chance," James answered.

Lily shrugged. "Albus was going to talk to him on Severus' behalf."

"That's good to hear, I was wondering what Albus wanted with him," James replied.

Lily sniffed. "Severus is beside himself with worry," she admitted. "And the Mark hurts him. It's all disgusting and weepy, and none of the potions are helping it."

James caressed Lily's face. "He'll be fine. How are **you**?" he asked.

"Very ill too."

"Albus will sort this out. Everything will work out as it is meant to," James assured her.

He stood from his side of the table and rounded it, sitting down next to Lily. James pulled her into a warm hug. "Everything will be fine," he repeated.

They were interrupted by a small house-elf wearing a Hogwarts pillow case. It had climbed onto the table in front of them and had startled them by banging two saucepan lids together beside their heads.

"Headmaster Dumbledore says to tell you to ready yourself for a wedding tomorrow," the elf told the couple. "You are needed in his office right away."

Having delivered its message, the house-elf hopped off the table and disappeared into the depths of the kitchen.

Lily pasted a brave smile on her face. "Coming?" she asked, holding her hand out to James.

"Of course."

* * *

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	41. Chapter Forty

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Chapter 40**

The next morning, the Headmaster's office was inundated with people preparing for Severus and Remus' wedding.

Severus had floo'd from the Hufflepuff dorms to Albus' office, accompanied by his bodyguards: Lily, Minerva and Arabella. The three women had not let him out of their sight since the Headmaster had announced that he had made the necessary arrangements with Remus to marry 'Severus' cousin'.

Albus was waiting for them with opened arms, dressed in his finest silk robes. In his gold and cream robes, he almost outshone Severus' Wedding Robes.

"Did I not tell you he was innocent?" he said as the four visitors tumbled out of his floo.

Minerva smiled, thankful that Albus had insisted that they dress in his rooms rather than use the floo in their good robes. Her plain green robes were filthy.

"So are Remus and Sirius," she replied, "Tricked by those _scoundrels_!"

"I'm glad everything got sorted out. Imagine if the LeStrange brothers were never caught!" Arabella exclaimed as she stumbled out of the floo.

James, who had been waiting in Albus' office to ensure that everything went according to plan, stepped forward, and helped Lily out of Albus' fireplace. "If they hadn't, I would have had to duel Remus. And he's pretty good at duelling," he added. Everyone in the room knew that he meant a duel to the death.

Albus chuckled and turned to Severus and the girls. "Your robes are laid out for you in the next room. Severus, I retrieved your Wedding Robes from your quarters. Ladies, I see you have brought with you the adequate materials to make Severus look delicious." Severus blushed profusely at Albus' comment.

"When you are all done, proceed down the stairs to the Entrance Hall, and wait for me to announce you before entering the garden."

"Where is the access to the passage," Minerva asked, referring to the secret passage between the Headmaster's quarters and the rose garden. She knew full well that Albus did not mean for them to traipse through the castle, and enter the Entrance Hall from the garden.

Albus smiled and pointed to a large hole in the wall, where a bookcase usually sat. The Wedding Party could see the top of a set of stairs descending from the tower. No doubt the passage also served as an escape route for the Headmaster.

Gathering their things, the women steered the reluctant bridegroom into the changing room. Severus still had bad dreams about their last 'beauty' treatment, and he wasn't particularly happy at the prospect of being fussed over again.

The Headmaster closed the door of the makeshift changing room, before focusing his attention on James. "Go back to Gryffindor Tower and tell Remus that it is time. Ask him to meet us in the garden. You have about twenty-minutes before Severus will lose his patience."

"Of course," James replied. However, instead of leaving to find Remus, he stayed, waiting, debating his next action.

Finally he came to a decision. "Um… before I go, can I ask you a favour?"

Albus smiled at his former student as Minerva escaped from the dressing room to retrieve the make-up bag she had left by the floo. "What is this favour?"

James opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. He turned to Minerva. "Is it true that Lily… regards me in high favour?" he asked.

Minerva smiled, almost blushing as she recalled the conversation James had overheard in the library, regarding Lily's love for him. "As Severus might say, she finds you… adequate," she replied, her eyes twinkling in a manner somewhat more accustomed to Albus.

James' cheeks coloured slightly. "I find her… adequate as well," he admitted. "In fact, I find her quite exquisite."

"Something you may have picked up from me, and Remus, and Sirius," Minerva chuckled.

"I don't understand," James replied, puzzled at Minerva's comment.

"It's all right." Minerva smiled as she ignored James' bewilderment. "Why are you asking after her feelings for you?" she enquired.

James was fairly hesitant in replying; he bent his head and examined his shoes. "I was wondering perhaps, today, when you marry Remus and Severus… if you would marry me and Lily as well," he said quietly, his cheeks turning a bright red.

Minerva almost dropped her make-up case when she heard James' request. _James wanted to marry Lily?_ "Have you asked her yet?" she asked.

James shook his head.

"Well I suggest **asking** her first," admonished Minerva.

* * *

James hurried back to Gryffindor Tower to find Sirius and Peter fussing over Remus.

"It's time," he called as he crawled through the portrait hole. "Just let me get changed and we can head to the garden," he added as he disappeared into the dormitory.

A few moments later he re-emerged wearing a new set of robes.

His friends stared at him. "What?" he asked. "Haven't you ever seen anyone wearing traditional robes before?" he asked.

"It's not that," giggled Peter. Not even trying to hide his mirth.

Sirius was having similar troubles. "Prongs… they're white."

"They're cream. And they have red edging," James defended himself.

"You look like you've nicked those out of Dumbledore's wardrobe," Peter added.

"James, you look pale," Remus said quietly, trying to figure out **why** James was wearing such… different robes.

Sirius grinned. "He's not angry, or sick, or hungry… Merlin! I think he's in love!"

Remus smiled for the first time in five days. "We made a sign: 'Here is a good horse to hire: James Potter, the married man', want me to go get it?"

James blushed as he recalled the conversation they had had while in the staffroom. It had only been two weeks ago, but it seemed like an age had passed.

Sirius clapped Remus on the back. "You know what? I think you've turned him into a fairy, with all that white."

Remus' face dropped at the insult. "I'm not a fairy," he hissed. "And neither is James. He looks good. Actually he looks more than good: I think he looks dashing."

"Yeah, but **he** isn't supposed to wear white to the wedding. You **are**," Peter added, knowing full well that only the bridegrooms and the celebrants were meant to wear white.

"It's cream, and I like it," Remus said quietly. "We should go, right?"

James nodded, thankful that Remus wasn't making a big deal about his robes. If he was going to propose to Lily today, then he wanted to be dressed properly for the occasion. He even had the love letter he had written Lily in his pocket for good luck.

Still teasing James, the four Marauders made their way through the halls of the castle to the Headmaster's Rose Garden.

When they approached the entrance, James pulled Remus aside, and adjusted the hood of his wedding robes to cover his face. While he was doing that, he noticed that his friend had a dark, blood-red rose pinned to the front of his robes.

"What's this?" asked James, touching the delicate flower lightly. The colour was so rich, the petals were almost black.

He barely heard the response. "It's for Severus. I wanted to marry him, not his cousin."

James took hold of Remus' hand and squeezed. "It'll be ok," he whispered to his friend as they followed Sirius and Peter into the garden. He didn't breathe a word to Remus that he _was_ actually marrying Severus; Albus had sworn him to secrecy. "I promise everything will be alright."

* * *

The Headmaster was waiting for Remus beside a flamboyantly blooming rose bush. The roses were large and purple and gave off a sweet, calming scent.

"Good-morning, Albus," Sirius greeted the Headmaster as they reached the flowering bush.

"Good-morning, gentlemen," Albus replied.

He waited until the four men were assembled in front of him before focusing his attention on Remus. "Remus, do you agree to marry Severus' cousin today?" he asked.

Remus nodded. "I do," he replied. "You have recommended him to me, and I accept him with all his imperfections." Remus was, of course, referring to the Dark Mark. As per Albus' instructions, he had not told his friends that Severus' cousin was a spy or a Death Eater, so this was his way of acknowledging the fact in front of the Headmaster without alerting his friends.

Albus turned to James and nodded. The young man serenely walked through the garden and opened the green door to the Entrance Hall where Severus was waiting.

"It's time," he told the waiting party, before returning to stand behind Remus.

Several long moments passed with no one appearing at the door. Remus was half convinced that he had been left at the altar as recompense for Severus' death.

But then Arabella appeared at the door. She walked slowly towards the waiting party, and stopped a little away from Albus, facing Remus.

Then Lily walked out. She also walked towards the group, and stood standing next to Arabella and facing the boys.

Next came Minerva; Remus started shaking as his former Head of House walked towards him. She had an evil glint in her eye, almost threatening him to make a scene.

When Minerva reached her position, all eyes turned once more to the door.

After several moments delay, a lone figure appeared at the door, dressed in Severus' Wedding Robes. It moved slowly towards them, its head bowed down, the hood keeping its face from view.

Remus looked up at Albus, whose eyes were twinkling, growing brighter with every step the bride (bridegroom?) took towards them. Remus was at a complete loss. He could smell Severus' scent radiating from the approaching figure. He supposed Severus' cousin was a closer relation to his betrothed than he had been led to believe.

He cursed Albus for his meddling ways, he should have insisted on meeting the person who he was going to marry! Hell! He couldn't even figure out if he was marrying a man or a woman.

The figure reached the rosebush and turned to face Remus, its face still hidden in the hood of the robe.

Remus stepped forward. Severus' scent almost overwhelmed him, but he still could not determine the gender of his partner. "Let me see your face," he whispered, pulling the hood off his own head.

"No," Albus stated. "Not until you join hands and you swear that you will marry."

Remus blushed. "Give me your hand," he whispered, and nervously reached for the figure's left hand. Once he had a hold of it, he could not resist looking at the only uncovered part of the person who stood in front of him. He turned the hand over in his own, examining it.

The hand was so very much like Severus', and yet so different. They both had long, bony fingers, but where Severus' hands were stained by potions and strange ingredients, the hand Remus held in his own was unblemished, its fingernails were clean and well manicured.

Remus had loved Severus' hands. He had loved to watch him work, slicing and dicing ingredients, stirring potions, scrubbing cauldrons. And he had loved the feel of those hands on his body.

Slowly, Remus pulled back the sleeve, just enough so that he could get a peek at the figure's forearm. He completely missed the fact that the arm, like the hand, was identical to Severus'. All he saw was the Dark Mark: a grotesque, half-healed, weeping Dark Mark.

He dropped the sleeve gently. "I don't care," he whispered, only loud enough for the figure to hear.

Still holding the Hand, Remus dropped to one knee in front of the hooded figure. "I am your husband, if you like of me," he stated.

Severus had been in complete agony while Remus had inspected his hand; he had sensed that his fiancé had not recognised that it was his hand due to its cleanliness. And then Remus had looked at the Mark. Severus was sure that he would be rejected.

But he hadn't been – at least not yet. His love had told him that he wasn't worried by the blemish on his forearm.

"When I lived, I was your other husband," Severus whispered in a husky baritone. He slipped off the hood and looked down at his betrothed. "And when you loved, you were my other husband."

"Another Severus?" Remus asked, tears coming to his eyes. His Severus was alive!

Severus smiled; his relief at being accepted by Remus was evident in his face. "You are correct: One Severus died dishonoured, but I do live. And as surely that I live, I love you, with every fibre of my being," he whispered, tears also filling his eyes.

Remus got to his feet and kissed Severus passionately, happy and grateful that his Severus was safe and sound.

"You're alive," he whispered. "I can't believe you're alive," he repeated before kissing his lover again.

Severus pulled away. "You really don't mind?" he asked softly, referring to the Mark.

"Of course I don't," Remus replied, knowing exactly what Severus was referring to. "You have returned and you're back with me, that's all I care about."

Their next kiss was interrupted by Sirius. "B-b-but you're dead! I saw the mess you made myself," Sirius spluttered.

"Indeed, he died while his slander lived," Albus told him. "But I will tell you all about it later, **after** I marry these two."

Albus turned to the happy couple who were practically entwined around each other. He coughed politely to gain their attention, so absorbed in one another they were: Remus ecstatic that his lover wasn't dead, and Severus exultant that Remus was undisturbed by the Mark.

At least the two were polite enough to look sheepish when Albus brought matters to hand.

"Remus, you come here to be married to Severus?"

"Yes, of course I do," Remus whispered, kissing Severus softly.

"Severus, you come here to be married to Remus?"

Severus nodded, and kissed Remus. "I do."

Albus had to wait some time while the two kissed, before continuing.

"If either of you know any inward impediment why you should not be conjoined, charge you, on your souls, to speak now."

"I have none," Severus replied, looking deeply into Remus' eyes. The two men had come to stand thoroughly entwined around each other, their arms holding each other close, with Severus' hand buried in Remus' hair.

"Nor do I," added Remus.

There was a collective sigh of relief as no one objected to the marriage.

"The rings please."

Sirius stepped forward and handed Remus Severus' ring, while Minerva did the same for Severus.

Disentangling themselves slightly, Remus slipped the ring onto Severus' left hand. "With this ring, I thee wed. I promise to love and support you for the rest of my days," he whispered.

"With this ring, I thee wed. I promise to love and support you for the rest of my days," Severus repeated as he did the same.

Albus set off several firecrackers as the bonding ceremony was completed. "I couldn't resist," he smiled. "Congratulations, on your marriage!"

The two men kissed for the first time as a married couple as their friends set off more firecrackers.

"I love you," the newly wedded pair whispered in unison once they broke from their kiss. They laughed softly as each realised that they had echoed the other's thoughts.

"I have arranged for a small reception in my office," Albus announced as the couple **finally** broke apart. "Everybody is invited."

As the group started to make their way towards the green door, James remained by the rosebush. "Lily?" he called out.

Lily turned. "I answer to that name."

"Do you not love me?" James asked.

Lily was quite embarrassed by James' question, and didn't particularly want to admit to her feelings out loud, so she settled for a 'safe' response. "No more than reason."

James stood, aghast. "Well then Minerva and Remus and Sirius are mistaken, they swore you did."

Lily turned to give the trio an evil glare, which was particularly hard to do when Remus looked so very happy. "Do not you love me?" she asked.

"No, no more than reason," James replied, repeating Lily's answer.

It was Lily's turn to be shocked. "Well then Severus and Arabella are mistaken, they swore you did," she told him.

"They swore you were sick with love for me."

"Well **they** swore you were nearly dead from loving me!"

"They were mistaken," James told her. "Then you don't love me?"

Lily shook her head. "Only as a friend."

Minerva smiled, as she removed her own hood. "Lily, I am sure you love James."

Remus grinned and let go of Severus long enough to snatch a scroll out of James' pocket. "I swear he **does** love her, he's written her a love letter," he announced, giving the parchment James had been writing the afternoon of his Freedom Night to Lily.

Severus smirked, and pulled Remus into the Entrance Hall. After a private kiss, and much speculation by their friends waiting outside, the couple returned with a book. "And here's Lily's journal, containing all her affectionate thoughts about Potter," Severus declared, handing the journal to James.

Luckily, Lily was too engrossed in James' letter to object to her private journal being bandied around the garden like _The Daily Prophet_.

Remus and Severus held each other close while they watched their friends reading each other's love letters.

"So, you love me?" asked Lily, once she had finished James' letter.

"I do," he admitted, blushing. "Do you love me?"

Lily nodded. "I do."

Sirius merely stood there and smirked.

* * *

tbc...

Feedback very welcome!


	42. Epilogue

**MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING  
by The Goblet**

**Epilogue**

Six months later Remus was lying awake on the bed he shared with Severus, staring up at the dark ceiling. He could not sleep.

The tranquillity of the night was disturbed by the front door of the cottage creaking open. Silently the werewolf got up off his bed and retrieved his wand from under his pillow. Noiselessly he tiptoed into the living room, where a dark figure in Death Eater's robes was trying to quietly sneak into the house.

Remus ignited the lights. "Severus! It's three o'clock in the morning; do you have any idea how worried I was?" he asked frantically, as Severus shut the front door.

The Potions Master turned to face his husband and took in his appearance. Remus had dark circles under his eyes, was still wearing his day robes, and basically looked like death warmed up.

"You didn't need to wait up for me," Severus whispered, crossing the small distance between them, and wrapped his arms around Remus, kissing him softly.

"I was worried," Remus replied. "You missed James and Lily's Christmas party. I know Sirius has been a git ever since he found out about your Mark, but Lily's your best friend.

"And then when I got home, you weren't here. I didn't know where you were, who you were with. You didn't leave a note or anything. I didn't know if you were hurt, or lying, dying in a ditch, or worse yet: **dead**! Have I mentioned that it's three o'clock in the morning?"

"I'm sorry," Severus said quietly, kissing his husband. "Come to bed, and I will explain," he added taking Remus' hand, and leading him into the bedroom.

Severus stripped off his robes and left them in a jumbled heap on the floor before crawling into bed, holding the covers up, waiting for his lover to join him.

Remus did the same, all the time watching his husband. Severus' forehead was slightly crinkled, a sign that he was stressed. His eyes were hollow and troubled. He was grumpy and he was exhausted.

Sighing, Remus extinguished the lights, replaced his wand under his pillow and curled up into his husband's side, resting his head on Severus' shoulder.

"It doesn't matter that you missed the party," he whispered. "Albus never showed up either."

"I know," Severus whispered.

"You do?"

Remus could feel Severus nodding and allowed him some time to collect his thoughts.

After several minutes, Severus finally began to talk. "There was an Incident.

"Albus was interviewing a seer for the Divinations position at Hogwarts and she gave him a demonstration of her powers," Severus said, as though it explained everything.

"You missed the Christmas Party and you're home late because Albus was interviewing a supposed seer?" asked Remus, incredulously. The current Divinations professor at Hogwarts was a complete fraud, and he had very little patience for those who claimed they had 'the sight'.

"I was imagining a thousand and one scenarios of how someone had hurt you, or killed you, because _Albus was conducting a **job interview**?_"

Severus shifted to wrap one arm around Remus, burying his fingers in the werewolf's hair. "She made a prophecy," he murmured. "About the end of the war… Wilkes overhead part of it…

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…_" he quoted what Wilkes had heard verbatim.

"Luckily enough, they were in the Hog's Head inn, and Aberforth threw Wilkes out before the hag was finished. Wilkes never heard the end of the prophecy.

"I spent half the night with the Dark Lord. And the remainder being debriefed by Albus," Severus said tiredly.

Remus rubbed large circles on Severus chest as he spoke, somewhat grateful that Severus had a **real** reason to be out that night, while also being uneasy that his husband had been spying: **very uneasy**.

"Was Wilkes punished for not hearing it all?" he asked, as he continued rubbing, snuggling closer into Severus. He knew that the Dark Lord expected perfection from his followers.

"He was killed."

Remus stopped his ministrations. "_Killed!_ For not hearing it all?"

His husband was quiet for a while. "The Dark Lord has been quite disappointed with his failings of late. His failure tonight was the last in a long list of disturbances. He was held under the Cruciatus Curse until his heart failed. _You-know-who_ believed that Wilkes wanted to oppose him for leadership… or was a spy. He's been rather paranoid about that."

Remus wound his arms around his husband. He prayed every single night that Severus was safe. He **knew** that if Voldemort ever even _thought_ that Severus was a spy, his husband would be murdered.

"You're _the_ Potions Master now?" he asked eventually.

Severus nodded.

Remus stretched up and kissed him. "I'm just relieved that you are safe," he whispered. _For now_.

Remus kissed him again. "There is an upside to this… revelation: We now **know** that the war will end, the Dark Lord will be defeated and we can live happily ever after."

Severus wrapped his arms around his husband. "Or the Dark Lord could win…," he whispered, "Kill the mother while she is pregnant or the child while it is defenceless. And who knows how many people will be killed in the interim."

"Shh," whispered Remus. "There's no point in thinking about that now. You need to get some sleep."

Severus smiled sadly at his husband. "I'm too tense to sleep," he whispered. "I keep seeing Wilkes announce the Prophesy… and then his screams as the Dark Lord punished him. And I think of what he is capable of doing to a small child, or a pregnant woman. I can't get it out of my head."

Remus climbed on top of his husband and cradled Severus' face in his hands. "Forget about it," he whispered. "It's out there. There's nothing you can do about it now.

"In **here**, in this room, in **this bed**, there is nothing but you and me." Remus leant down to kiss Severus softly, deepening the kiss when his husband responded and drew him closer, kissing him passionately.

"Now, if you are too tense to sleep and you keep thinking about things which are completely out of your control, I believe that I will just have to relax you, and make you think about something entirely different," Remus whispered, seductively.

Grinning wickedly, he grabbed the jar of lubricant from the bedside table and seized his wand from under his pillow before disappearing under the blankets.

Severus lifted his hips as Remus removed his underwear, and spread his legs so that his husband could settle between them, as a cleansing charm was applied.

Soon, Severus's full attention was on his husband's loving touch. Not a single thought was spared for the Dark Lord or Albus or the Prophesy, as Remus carefully stretched him. He smiled into the darkness as he felt Remus crawl back up his body, and saw his husband's head pop out from under the blankets.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, Severus."

* * *

"It was a good party, wasn't it?" James asked as he got ready for bed.

Lily nodded. "I'm just worried why Severus didn't put in an appearance. Remus seemed to be expecting him."

"I doubt there's anything to worry about," James replied, slipping under the covers. He wrapped his arms around Lily, and kissed her tenderly. "He probably didn't want to spoil everyone's night by getting into a fight with Padfoot."

"Mm, maybe. I think I'll owl him in the morning, just in case."

"Whatever makes you happy, love."

James let go of Lily long enough to spoon up behind her. "I don't know if I want to spend Christmas with my parents," he said, as he doused the lights.

"Mmm?" Lily gave a non-committal reply as James snuggled up to her and drew her close. Bedtime was her favourite time of day; she loved it when James cuddled her.

"My mother is never satisfied. Did you hear her tonight? I thought when we got married she would stop nagging me. But oh no! It's gone from 'when are you getting married?' to 'when am I going to be a grandmother?' Nag, nag, nag."

Lily smiled as James complained. She took his hand from her breast and placed it on her flat belly. "Oh, I don't know," she whispered. "In about seven months…"

**The End**

* * *

Feedback very welcome! 


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